PG is also one of my favorite musicals
Oh the pain, oh the shame! I got conned into being in the cast of PG in a little theatre production in Key West - my primary (and only) qualification for the part was the inability to say a very form NO!.
Interview:
Q. Have you ever been in a Musical?
A.
NoQ. Can you sing.
A.
NoQ Can you dance?
A.
NoQ Are you willing to try?
A.
I'd try anythingYOUR HIRED!
Now I could get away with the "Once A Year Day" number - that was a polka, a dance cultured gentlemen learned in school or at the country club.
The "Steam Heat" number was another story. Now I know my left foot from my right foot - years in the military made left-right second nature. It seems however that ersatz Fosse choreography and stiff, formal, military precision are not kissin' cousins. It's "Left, Right, Left Right" - and it refers to FEET! It is not "Left, left, front, back, right, left, right, right left, left, thrust" -and it does not refer to HIPS! There was no way that poor director was going to undo six years of rigorous military drill with 2 weeks screaming "Loosen up for Chrisakes!" at dance rehearsal.
Of course, I never learn. I still fell for the "Nobody else will even try - are you afraid?" pitch when I was cast as Mordred in "Camelot". My dancing was crap, but my Arrogant, Snotty, Ungrateful, Scheming Bastard was right on. "The Seven Deadly Virtues" was a song I could sing from the heart!
Little did I know that "Arrogant, Scheming Bastards" were in demand. I got a call to please come read for a part at California's First Theatre (which does classic "Perils of Pauline Dramas" from the late Nineteenth Century). I showed up at the appointed hour, was handed a script and was told to read the part of

(Sneering Villain who prompts lots of Boos and has to duck flying peanuts from the audience). I noticed that the director kept running different damsels in distress through the heroine parts, but I kept reading Sir Nasty. As I learned at the end of the evening, the director had seen my Mordred and had (without asking) pre-cast me for the part. When I found out that this "Great Honor" entailed shows Thursday thru Sunday for 12 weeks and my reward was all the peanuts I could catch, I took a bye.
I've never been able to get a part I’ve wanted, and I've always been pre-cast in shows I didn't originally consider doing. I tried out for the Burton part in "Night of the Iguana" - I read the part really well, but -well, you've seen my rosy cheeked college pictures. No way says the Director - but stick around, I think I'll have something for you this summer. Thus was my casting-without-try-out as Capt. Fisby in "Teahouse of the August Moon". Try for Burton and end up as Glenn Ford ::sigh::
Now my chance for Dramatic Glory are gone (of course if BK wants to play an aging Jerry, I could sure enjoy stabbing him as Peter). I might still be able to pull off Harold Ryan in "Happy Birthday Wanda June":
PENELOPE:.. This is a simple minded play about men who enjoy killing, and men who don't.
HAROLD: I am Harold Ryan , her husband. I have killed perhaps two hundred men in wars of various sorts -- as a professional soldier. I have killed thousands of other animals as well -- for sport.
Yes - bring on the scenery!
Oh well - there's still Sheridan Whiteside

der Brucer