Can't say I'm starting to crack under all this pressure. Honestly, I've cracked under all this pressure. I snapped at a particularly timid performer and raised my voice to deliver a tirade in front of the entire class.
The two different over-stuffed cabaret shows are Sunday and Tuesday night, so we're getting down to the nitty gritty. There's 26 songs in one cabaret and 23 in the other, so I've a lot of things to keep in my head. Such as everybody's tempo.
Each moment I'm there I try to be as supportive as possible to all the neophyte singers, many of whom are understandably nervous or bewildered by the whole process. Today I failed.
On the program, it says I'm the musical director. There's a director and a choreographer credited as well. On the back of the program, the entire faculty is listed, including a voice teacher, who, for purposes of this recap, I'll call Reed Williams.
We had limited time this morning to cover about a third of the songs, so I was happy to see a relatively simple one, Sondheim's Love Is in the Air, which, thankfully, we've always done in the same tempo. Except today, the singer asked me if we could do it slower.
Now, the singer couldn't have known that I had compartive adverbs. "Slower" is meaningless to me. "Slower" than a speeding bullet - THAT I can understand. But, before I could ask the necessary follow-up question, "slower than what?" the singer contined "Reed Williams said it should be slower."
I saw red.
"This is not OK with me. Let's hear it once again in the tempo we've been doing it in and then we'll see if a change needs to be made."
But the director noticed the singer's lip quivering as I played the first bars (as I always have - in fact I've never even heard any other tempo; I first heard the song played by Sondheim himself in his talk at the "Y"). And I leaped in to explain:
"I'm sorry, folks, and this has nothing to do with you, who are, as they say in the phrase 'don't kill the messenger' just the messenger. You've done nothing wrong. But I just snapped because I'm hearing, a few days before, that Reed Williams has suggested a new tempo. And if you read your program, it says that I'M musical director if this show. So, if a tempo is right or wrong, I get the credit or blame. It's my responsibility, ultimately, and I'm not averse to trying new things at this point, but you must understand what it means to me to have to deal with a suggestion from somebody who has not even heard me play the song."
The director then marched off to give our boss an earful. I waited two and a half hours to more calmly do the same. (Mr. Williams wasn't present today.)
It's not that I'm keen on having all this authority. If Reed wants to set tempos, list him as musical director, me as accompanist, and I'll simply follow orders. But, this being an educational program, what are we teaching the students if the hierarchy of the theatre can be so subverted?