Singdaw, I didn't "perform" at my father's funeral although I did deliver the eulogy and I included part of the last speech from "I Never Sang for My Father" (death ends a life but it does not end a relationship which struggles on in the survivor's mind toward some resolution he may never find). I had just "retired" from the business and I considered it in some ways a performance. It's difficult but very fulfilling in a way.
When one of my best friends died in 1988 (the first person I actually knew who died from AIDS) many people performed at his memorial, me included. That, actually, was more difficult than giving my father's eulogy. I did a monologue from a play he had written for me and I got through it but just barely. His memorial was at the old Equity Library Theatre (long closed) on 103rd Street and Riverside Drive.