Have you ever gone to see a play or a musical (no movies allowed) where you absolutely hated every minute of it; even though everyone around you seemed to think it was a masterpiece?
There was a musical starring two actors with six names between them that contained just about everything I hate: comedy songs that aren't funny, catchy pop music "grooves" that mask the shoddy quality of the craftsmanship, no dialogue, a plot that made no sense, and, the worst sin of all
self pity. I cannot bear self pity on stage. Makes me want to yell "boo f---ing hoo" in a derisive tone. The girl's first number was unadulterated self-pity and there was ample self-pity in her next few songs. Due to the odd and incomprehensible "concept" of the plot, you ended up hating him even more than you hated her, which is some neat trick.
The set consisted of a twenty-foot tall granite wheel decorated with little doll chairs. There was also an ever-obtrusive turntable in the stage. Every song went on forever. Only one duet. The score contained an Irish jig and a reggae, although nobody seemed to be Irish or Caribbean. There was a latin number about being Jewish - perhaps a too-subtle hint the character was sephardic? Not sure why we needed to know that. One had a couple of jokes in its first half, and none in its second. If I ever write songs this bad, the Dear Readers are instructed to please shoot me.
