Haines His Way

I'm now listening to the music from The Alligator People.  it's SCARY.  Scarier than the Mushroom People and The Creature from the Black Lagoon.  I'm quivering and shivering at what this music is delivering.

I only have one thing to say on the subject of scones. It's a pointless story that I have no reason to post, but I will anyway because I'm bored.

When I was a senior in high school, we were studying one of Shakespeare's plays (I don't remember which one, and I didn't read it anyway) and for an assignment, we had to make food that people in Shakespeare's day ate and bring it to class. I looked up some Elizabethan English food, and it was all pretty gross (like this thing called "love-in-disguise." Blech!) So I decided to make scones because they weren't gross.

Only, I didn't know how to make scones, which fact I didn't realize until the day before it was due. My only back-up plan was love-in-disguise, and there was no way I was making that. I don't even think the ingredients for that are legal to feed to people. So my mom bought me some scone mix. Just add water and bake.

I had to present my scones in front of the class, and I needed something more to say than "Just add water and bake," so I made up a story about how when my great aunt Rosemary came to this country from England, she brought her scone recipe with her and then gave it to me. My teacher believed me and I got an A.

See? I told you it was a pointless story.

Just like he attempted with "Can We Start Again, Please?" (am I remembering the title correctly?) in the film version of Superstar.  And we know how well that one turned out.

On the other hand, that thoroughly mediocre "You Must Love Me" that he added to EVITA actually WON him the Oscar, so I'm sure he's thinking lightning may strike twice.

Teachers tend to get even more bored than their students... after all, they have been teaching the same thing, on a schedule, with detailed lesson plans, for -- well -- maybe eons. So if you can think up something to break up their monotony, well, jeez-Louise! You get an A. Or thrown out of class.

And ANTIQUES -- particularly FAMILY ANTIQUES -- particularly IMPORTED FAMILY ANTIQUES like Aunt Rosemary's genuine imported English scone recipe -- are fascinating. You get an A. Even if all we have to do to get the experience is add water and mix.

What disappointed me most with A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC as a film, other than Prince's less than brilliant direction, was that the MUSIC was shortchanged. Like bk, I LOVE the new "Glamorous Life" given to the daughter, but too much of this exquisite score is missing. All of the Broadway players are just fine, and Diana Rigg couldn't be better casting as the Countess.

BTW, Elizabeth sang "Send in the Clowns" herself, but for the rest of the movie, she's dubbed by the same singer who dubbed the little girl!

Leading up to the wonderful season premiere of '24' tonight, I am re-watching ELAINE STRITCH AT LIBERTY, the commercial DVD of her entire show rather than the HBO documentary on the making of her show.

And for others so inclined, tonight also has the season premiere of CARNIVALE. I'll have to catch it at some other time this week.

THE MARVELOUS STORY OF KUDO-HEAD AND THE GIANT GREEN BLOB

It all started one day in English class, when my teacher made us write some in-class essays. Then, we had to exchange essays with each other and fill out peer evaluations on them. I traded papers with my best friend Vespi. At the end of the evaluation sheet, there was a spot for additional comments on the essay. I didn't know what to write there, so I wrote "Kudos" because the essay was pretty good.

When I handed Vespi his essay and the evaluation sheet, he read through it, and when he got to the end, he said, "Kudos?" and laughed. We sat right next to the whiteboard, so he picked up a dry erase marker and wrote "Kudos" on the board.

The next day, it was still there, so he drew a circle around it. There was also a small green dot on the board from a green marker. I don't now how it got there, but I picked up the green marker and made the dot a little bigger.

The next day, "Kudos" with the circle around it and the green dot were both still on the board. Vespi made the circle around "Kudos" into the head of a stick figure, and I drew another green layer around the dot.

Each day before the teacher got to class, I added another layer to the green dot, and Vespi added something more to the stick figure, whom we christened "Kudo-head" because he, you know, had "Kudos" for a head.

As the days went by, Kudo-head became pretty styling, decked out as he was with a hat, sneakers, and the other accessories that Vespi gave him each day. And the green dot soon became a giant green blob. I had to stand on my chair in order to add its daily layer of green marker.

Kudo-head and the Giant Green Blob stayed there all year, and they were still there when I checked at graduation.

I've had scones in New York, New York, and didn't care for them because they were heavy.  Maybe I had bad ones.  But I would never have a scone with multiple grains.  What other kind are there?

Well, I'll eat anything with cherries in it - I love cherries.

Mix?  Where do you get mix?  I don't know from mix.

DR Sandra - If you would sell me the rights to  THE MARVELOUS STORY OF KUDO-HEAD AND THE GIANT GREEN BLOB, I believe I could adapt it as a Lifetime Movie.
Log line: Two mixed up young kids find meaning in life through their friendship with a green social misfit. (And we'll throw in life-threatening illness and some sex - perhaps by way of the teacher  - who is as yet under-developed in your story. We need some arcs, we need a journey, we need women in jeopardy.)

I, personally, need an ark.

Scones are a favorite food of a certain people who may or may not have settled in the Salt Lake Valley, in order to pursue polygamy and ersatz muffin making.  I cannot say more lest they come after me with locusts.

I believe DRs Elmoore and MattH have missed earth-shatteringly important postings of mine today.  

Dear Reader Panni, that would become my favorite movie. Who should we get to play me?

Judging by your avatar, maybe Erroll Flynn?