Topic: THE MYSTERY OF THE LEEKS (Read 88120 times)

bk · « **on:** January 11, 2005, 12:00:15 AM »

Well, you've read the notes, you know that you must put on your best sleuthing clothing and tell us your scenarios and deductions, and now it is time for you to post until the mystery cows come home.

bk · « **Reply #1 on:** January 11, 2005, 12:09:40 AM »

Welcome six GUESTS. We're solvin' a mystery and revivin' a show.

Ann · « **Reply #2 on:** January 11, 2005, 12:12:38 AM »

Ann has caught up. Ann is rather sleepy. Ann is watching M*A*S*H and eating grapes. Ann is tired of referring to herself in the third person.

Thank you all for the good health vibes. Jane, no I'm not in pain...just mild discomfort. I can hold out for surgery, just hoping the stupid thing doesn't decide to burst.
I think DR Elmore needs the vibes more than me...send them his way, everyone.

bk · « **Reply #3 on:** January 11, 2005, 12:14:36 AM »

Breaking news: It's raining.

Charles Pogue · « **Reply #4 on:** January 11, 2005, 12:35:01 AM »

A short while back, there was a terrible "crack" in the canyon below our home...the only thing that would ordinarily follow a sound like that would be "Timmmberrr!" At first I thought it was one of the pines on our lot and expected to hear it crashing onto a neighbour's roof. But as our pines are pretty old, I would expect them to have fairly sturdy roots.

Thankfully, it wasn't one of our pines. Though I knew it had done some damage somewhere, because I heard folks shouting,"Oh God, oh my God."

I discovered the cause when I took Tewkes for a walk during a brief respite of rain (not brief enough...every time we go out when it slacks, it starts to downpour before we get back)

I saw my neighbours around the corner feverishly hovered over their water main hook-up. I ask if anyone knew what the noise had been. One of the sons answered, "A hundred foot pine on our back hill uprooted and tore out the water pipes." Fortunately no one was hurt, though I'm sure they didn't appreciate my involuntary response of, "Oh, I was scared it was one of mine."

It seems like this is the second tree that has fallen like this on their hill. I remember a few years back one toppled in the road below the hill and the dented fence may still be there to prove it. They might considered some serious tree trimming. I might after tonight too...towering pines are nice, but are they worth the risk...?

S. Woody White · « **Reply #5 on:** January 11, 2005, 12:46:45 AM »

TOTD#2:

I've been waiting for decades for Lady in the Dark to be revived. I think it has a good score and an interesting book. But, other than David Hyde Pierce as Russell Paxton, the photographer (and singer of "Tschaikowsky") I haven't any ideas on casting.

S. Woody White · « **Reply #6 on:** January 11, 2005, 01:00:12 AM »

Best of vibes to our Los Angeles contingent. May they all stay dry and safe!

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ozderek · « **Reply #7 on:** January 11, 2005, 01:11:12 AM »

***** EEK ~ IT’S A LEEK ****

PART ONE

It was a dark and stormy night (isn’t it always)
When Hermione had a fright
Suffering from a disability
She had to use the main facility
But on the way she had a fall
And missed the railing on the wall.
She hit the floor and had a cut knee
Then screamed when she saw dead Lord Chutney!
But suddenly the girl within
Began to smile and with a grin
She said “You were just so detestable,
Now look, you’ve wound up like a vegetable,
All mangled and bloody and lying alone -
I shan’t call for help, no I won’t use the phone.”

(to be continued)

ozderek · « **Reply #8 on:** January 11, 2005, 01:12:09 AM »

***** EEK ~ IT’S A LEEK ****

PART TWO

Out in the garden sat dear old Cheltham,
Who hated his father – he used to belt him (!)
On this day he was oddly aloof
And kept peering up to the red tiled roof.
One could think he was acting suspicious
He was not normally quite so capricious;
Smiling and laughing, then looking quite serious
His mother suspected he was most delirious.
But deep in her heart, a secret did dwell
She swore on her husband that she would not tell.
She pained and she ached for the secret to share
And oh what a burden Lady Chutney did bear.
Had she spoken the words she dared not utter,
Or were here thoughts as golden as butter?
Then suddenly – “Oh, horror!” – the dear lady cried,
For deep in here soul she knew Lord C had died.

(to be continued)

ozderek · « **Reply #9 on:** January 11, 2005, 01:13:40 AM »

***** EEK ~ IT’S A LEEK ****

PART THREE

Poor Lady C, she rang for the butler
An odd looking man – his name it was Culter.
He collected photos of dear Betty Grable
And showed them to the Squire who lived in the stable.
He loved wearing corsets of silk and of wire
Which he paraded in front of old Squire Meyer.
An hour ago they had both yelled “Oh, Gawd!”
For they had been discovered in drag by the Lord.
Lord C in his fury yelled “Cutler and Meyer,
I have no alternative, I now have to fire
You both from my employ, so leave this estate ~
Not once did you ask me to share in this date!
You could have worn corsets with all of my blessing,
Don’t tell my wife – but I’m into cross dressing.”
And then butler Cutler whispered to Meyer,
“Let’s take Lord C and make him perspire ~
A plan I have, and how my palm itches;
I’m going to squeeze him of all of his riches”

(to be continued)

ozderek · « **Reply #10 on:** January 11, 2005, 01:22:23 AM »

***** EEK ~ IT’S A LEEK ****

PART FOUR

This morning ‘tis told that Cheltham’s young cousin
Had bought 13 leeks – one more than a dozen.
Willoughby by name, a sad, lowly sinner
He gave them to Hermione to cook for his dinner.
He was a lad that all folk detested,
His humour and presence was barely digested.
Dear, sweet Hermione had a plan to get rid
Of the boy so she looked for the poison she hid
In the attic behind a big wooden box;
Very carefully she unpicked the locks
And gathered the poison in her apron pocket
She ran down the stairs,
But the door did not lock it.
She mixed all the poison in with the leeks,
To eat such a stew would take days, maybe weeks.
Whilst humming and stirring and laughing a lot
She suddenly remembered what she had forgot …
“Merde!” she cried out as she ran up the stairs
And then locked the door, quite unawares
That dear old Lord C had wandered inside
And through gaps in the wall had wondrously espied
The secret ingredient mixed in with the stew
He was quite agog – oh what a to do!

ozderek · « **Reply #11 on:** January 11, 2005, 01:42:40 AM »

***** EEK ~ IT’S A LEEK ****

FINALE (aren’t you pleased!!!!)

He turned and he ran, he was sweaty and worried
He ran into Cutler and Meyer who hurried
Him off to a lane way all cobbled and dirty
They teased him, cajoled him and got rather flirty!
At first he was flattered by all the attention
But Cutler could not hesitate to mention
That this was the night when Lord C would retire
For good ~ as he gave the gun to the Squire.
A shot it rang out, a scream it was heard
And now the tale gets quite absurd.

Hermione had rushed outside for a peek
For she had discovered not a single leek
Was left in the pot on the stove where they stewed
And why was young Wallaby in such a good mood?

Outside Lady Chutney and Cheltham were crying
For they knew Lord C was definitely dying
If this was a video, we would have to pause it ~
For there was the Lord in a pink satin corset,
Lying all bloodied and bruised on the ground
But what was that lying so close, all around?
The leeks from the pot, all bubbly and green
‘Twas the most bizarre sight a person has seen.

So here lies the moral of this sorry story,
For Lord Cheltenham did not die in glory.
The maid who wishes to poison the geek,
Should not leave the stove when stewing a leek,
A wife with a secret should keep it inside
Or she’ll be confused when he’s dressed as the bride.
The son, all aloof and with far away eyes
Should always be ready for a deathly surprise.
The butler and squire should know not to mess
With the lord of the manner (in trousers or dress!)
And the cousin who’s wit is dissected in half
Will always know he’ll have the last laugh!

Tomovoz · « **Reply #12 on:** January 11, 2005, 02:33:51 AM »

How to kill the competition off quickly OZDerek. A shock for all when the other side of the Pacific wakes!

And to think I was going to write some lame comment about a Welsh connection with rare bits in Abergaveny that were relished by the perpetrator.

Keep taking your medication - it's working!

elmore3003 · « **Reply #13 on:** January 11, 2005, 05:05:04 AM »

Quote from: Ann on January 11, 2005, 12:12:38 AM

Ann has caught up. Ann is rather sleepy. Ann is watching M*A*S*H and eating grapes. Ann is tired of referring to herself in the third person.

Thank you all for the good health vibes. Jane, no I'm not in pain...just mild discomfort. I can hold out for surgery, just hoping the stupid thing doesn't decide to burst.
I think DR Elmore needs the vibes more than me...send them his way, everyone.

DRAnn, we're in this together! My advantage is that if I have to have the damned surgery again, I know what it entails. While I want to get over this nonsense, I want you to be perfectly okay. SEND DRANN THOSE VIBES, ALL!!!

Ben · « **Reply #14 on:** January 11, 2005, 05:08:11 AM »

Jane said:

"Jose I have saved the tea info. I have never seen and English/Asian tea shoppe, very interesting. However, I may not be getting to DC next October so I can spend my free time in NY. I expect you will be living there by then."

There are many tea shops in New York including the small but fun Tea and Sympathy on Greenwich Avenue in the Village and Lady Mendl's Tea Salon on 17th Street and Irving Place. I haven't been to any of the "high tea" palaces but we do have a list of where they are. Perhaps when you get here we can all have "tea" and Anthony will come this time and you can see his miniature pictures in person.

Kerry, so glad to see you posting again!

Ben · « **Reply #15 on:** January 11, 2005, 05:10:36 AM »

Can't think of a show that I would like to have revived right now. I will ponder the question and return to it later.

Hi, Larry. Hi, D-i-T.

Ginny · « **Reply #16 on:** January 11, 2005, 05:15:22 AM »

Another rainy day in the Ohio Valley (as if we needed more!)

TOD2 - Upon Elmore's recommendation, I'm filling a huge gap in my cultural literacy and watching Sex and the City on DVD. So far, I've seen seasons 1, 2, 4, and the first half of season 6. The more I watch, the more I'd like to see Sarah Jessica Parker as Fanny in a revival of Funny Girl.

Dan (the Man) · « **Reply #17 on:** January 11, 2005, 05:40:52 AM »

Well, I think DR Ozderek certainly has TOD #1 covered. For what it's worth, I suspected kitchen maid Hermoine all along. She claimed she was no where near the crime because she "had to use the facilities" but we all know that really meant that she had to take a leek. Poor girl--she got greedy and took all of them and was caught green-handed by Lord Chutney. The old lecher had had his eyes on the young maid for quite some time, and he was going to seize the opportunity to make her his own. But the girl, in her panic, pulled out a carving knife. And Lord Chutney ran into it. He ran into it ten times. You might say that he had it comin'.

Dan-in-Toronto · « **Reply #18 on:** January 11, 2005, 05:52:13 AM »

That will teach me always to read the Notes first.

Jennifer · « **Reply #19 on:** January 11, 2005, 05:57:01 AM »

DR MBarnum, I'm curious about the Alias they showed you last night. Was it this season's premiere? (was syd's sis nadia in it?). If so, that seems odd to me. First to make you watch a 90 minute show (when you probably thought you were getting a 30-60 minute one). Two, what if you had seen it last week? Three, it would not be easy to follow if you hadn't watched the other seasons. This is definitely a show where that makes a HUGE DIFFERENCE.

Jrand74 · « **Reply #20 on:** January 11, 2005, 05:57:33 AM »

Although DRozderek has indeed covered the TOD is wonderful fashion.....he is wrong.

Lord Chutney was killed by Willoughby. It was very simple. Lord Chutney discovered Willoughby in the pantry.....wait for it.....wait for it....yes, he was taking a leek.

elmore3003 · « **Reply #21 on:** January 11, 2005, 05:57:35 AM »

Good morning, all! I've been playing with my profile (left side) to try one of DRGeorge's new avatars. I think I figured it out.

Thank you, DRGeorge!

I am a perennial patsy (look for me on the Burpee covers) at mysteries, couldn't even figure out the Nancy Drew ones, so I'm not jumping into the case of the missing leeks. I'll just ooh and aah at the solutions, but DRozderek - who clearly needs a life beyond HHW - is a tough act to follow.

As far as revivals, I too am a huge fan of LADY IN THE DARK, but I'd suggest Malcolm Getz as Russell Paxton, Brendan Fraser as Randy Curtis, Brent Barrett as Charlie Johnson, and Sylvia McNair, who seems to have jumped ship from opera to the Great American Songbook, as Liza Elliott: she's seen enough crazy divas to play one.

Mr Guy Haines just finished singing "Look for a Star." This album, like the Blob, is growing on me!

elmore3003 · « **Reply #22 on:** January 11, 2005, 06:00:23 AM »

Quote from: JRand54 on January 11, 2005, 05:57:33 AM

Although DRozderek has indeed covered the TOD is wonderful fashion.....he is wrong.

Lord Chutney was killed by Willoughby. It was very simple. Lord Chutney discovered Willoughby in the pantry.....wait for it.....wait for it....yes, he was taking a leek.

DRJRand54, when I was recording Twiggy's album with Dear Friend BK, she and I discussed British music hall stars. She told me that Marie Lloyd (?) had a song about a little girl who sits among the cabbages and peas, but the censor made her change it to the little girl who sits among the cabbages and leeks.

Jrand74 · « **Reply #23 on:** January 11, 2005, 06:02:32 AM »

DR KERRY I meant to tell you, sometimes when you get to the notes page, if you just refresh - you will be logged in. Also if DRGEORGE can't fix your avatar photo - email it to me and I will try.

VIXMOM didn't get your pic if you sent it.

DRs derBRUCER and JOSE thanks for the CANDIDE information yesterday. I am still looking forward to it! However "Quiet" is one of my favorite songs in the score.....along with "What's the Use?" and I will be very disappointed if it is not included. Donald Trump....rewrites of THE PAJAMA GAME....new songs....GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Dan-in-Toronto · « **Reply #24 on:** January 11, 2005, 06:03:26 AM »

I'd like to see an all-star cast revival of 70 GIRLS 70 - Barbara Cook, Chita Rivera, Patricia Routledge, Elaine Stritch (I can't think of a male star). Judging from the score, the show deserves another life. I think the leads, and the audience, would have a blast.

Jrand74 · « **Reply #25 on:** January 11, 2005, 06:06:22 AM »

LOL......sort of like the title of HALLELUJAH I'M A BUM which was changed in England to HALLELUJAH I'M A TRAMP..... LOL

And of course....well.....a joke that made us scream with laughter in the 3rd grade.....Confuscious say that lady who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot - unsanitary.

Ben · « **Reply #26 on:** January 11, 2005, 06:08:02 AM »

D-I-T, good choice. I, too, would love to see 70G70. "Coffee in a Cardboard Cup", love that song!

vixmom · « **Reply #27 on:** January 11, 2005, 06:08:45 AM »

Well I was just gonna say that old Lord C had eaten all the leeks and in his haste to swallow them all before he was discovered had choked on the very last one and so met his end, but I bow to the master, OZderek

as to the other TOD,

I never saw Chess when it was performed in NYC, I think it only lasted a minute and a half or so ..., but I absolutely love the original concept album.

I understand that the NYC production removed the whole love story aspect (please, if anyone had more reliable inofrmation, please do correct me)

I am digressing (again) I would love to see Chess properly staged, following the original concept album, there - I finally got to the point!!

vixmom · « **Reply #28 on:** January 11, 2005, 06:11:28 AM »

To DR's Ann and Elmore good health vibes

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vixmom · « **Reply #29 on:** January 11, 2005, 06:12:17 AM »

To all the West Coasters, I wish you sun

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Author Topic: THE MYSTERY OF THE LEEKS (Read 88120 times)

Ben

Ben

Ben