Topic: HAVE I STAYED TOO LONG AT THE FAIR? (Read 21650 times)

bk · « **on:** May 29, 2004, 12:00:40 AM »

Well, you've read the notes, you know the ins and outs and also the outs and ins of the notes, you've seasoned the notes with paprika, and now you are ready to post on this gloriously glorious very long weekend.

Seasoned the notes with paprika?

Jay · « **Reply #1 on:** May 29, 2004, 12:12:11 AM »

I had the displeasure last year of seeing the two worst films I have ever seen: Girls Will be Girls and O, Fantasma. Both of them made the rounds of the gay film festival circuit, and GWBG even won some awards. Not sure how that happened.

Panni · « **Reply #2 on:** May 29, 2004, 12:15:43 AM »

Paprika! The best spice in the world.

Worst movie: I'll have to think of a list, but the first that pops into my head is BUTTERFLY, starring Miss Pia Zadora, Stacy Keach, Orson Welles (and Ed McMahon!)

Jay · « **Reply #3 on:** May 29, 2004, 12:30:08 AM »

Of course, some films are so bad they're good. Can't Stop the Music would be my favorite in that category.

elmore3003 · « **Reply #4 on:** May 29, 2004, 02:31:04 AM »

Good morning, all!

The TOD runs a gamut here, from really bad cheap films like Ed Wood's to big studio duds like LOST HORIZON, which still makes me cringe, and A CHORUS LINE, which Joe Bob Briggs once called the best horror film of 1985.

I choose REFLECTIONS IN A GOLDEN EYE, which DR MBarnum will want to see since Gordon Mitchell is in it. The director was John Huston, the cast was game, and I've never forgotten Liz Taylor screaming "Normal? You call her normal? She cut off her nipples with the garden shears!"

Dan-in-Toronto · « **Reply #5 on:** May 29, 2004, 05:32:03 AM »

DR Elmore,

Ah, yes, I remember the garden shears line. And what about the major (the naked one on the horse) who sniffs Elizabeth Taylor's panties. That was quite a movie.

There are some other Elizabeth Taylor stinkers. Boom? The Blue Bird?

And, along with Ed Wood, there is Doris Wishman; notably "Deadly Weapons," which are, of course, Chesty Morgan's size-73 boobs.

Robin · « **Reply #6 on:** May 29, 2004, 05:34:08 AM »

It's almost impossible to make a movie without some redeeming features. For all his limitations, Ed Wood made some pretty amusing movies...

Reflections in a Golden Eye is certainly awful, but it's also quite funny in spots...seeing Marlon Brando ogle the nekkid, horse-riding Robert Forster is pretty amusing, and seeing Liz Taylor whip Brando with a riding crop nearly gave me a heart attack.

Myra Breckinridge had some entertainment value. Not much, I grant you, but there's a scene in the movie which I will refrain from describing (not because it's undescribable, but because it's just plain filthy) because I don't wanna be responsible for turning HHW into a porn site. But, said scene is one I personally found hilarious.

Girls Will Be Girls is indeed every bit as wretched as Jay said. I even fell asleep during the last fifteen minutes or so of the movie...and I almost never fall asleep in the theater.

The wretchedest movie I've seen in recent years is Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000, starring John Travolta and based on the novel by L. Ron Hubbard. I have no idea whether or not the novel is as off-the-wall stupid as this movie, and I have no intention of finding out.

The movie takes place 1000 years after these big Rastafarian-looking aliens have taken over the earth, and reduced the human race back into being cavepeople. This doesn't prevent these primative screwheads from finding a US Air Force base, and in a few hours in a flight simulator, the cavemen are ready to fight the aliens in their Harrier JumpJets...where did the flight simulator draw power from, and who has been maintaining Harrier JumpJets in working order for a millienium? No one. They work because the script says they do.

The movie has all kinds of intended satire, which falls flat because it's all either too obvious, or just plain moronic. John Travolta's entire performance as the evil alien overlord is nothing but a bad impression of Bette Davis. Forrest Whittaker is wasted as Travolta's boot-licking lackey. The movie features some of the nastiest-looking set design you'll ever see, and all of the characters are just grungy and filthy-looking. And, worst of all, the director of the movie tilts the camera in every scene, for no discernable reason at all.

It's boring, stupid, and unpleasant. It's not even redeemed by unintentional humor.

It just may be the worst movie I've ever seen.

Dan-in-Toronto · « **Reply #7 on:** May 29, 2004, 05:49:50 AM »

Basic Instinct. As if the acting/directing/writing/ending aren't awful enough, do we really need to see Michael Douglas's tuchus?

Matt H. · « **Reply #8 on:** May 29, 2004, 06:13:31 AM »

I have to agree with DR Robin about BATTLEFIELD EARTH. Of movies released in the last decade, it has to be the absolute worst.

A similar big screen, big budget epic in the same disaster category is INCHON with Laurence Olivier and financed by Reverand Sun-Yung-Moon.

I never saw SKIDOO, but I do remember being in a movie theater watching something else, and the previews for SKIDOO came on, and I couldn't get over how horrendous the PREVIEWS were! I knew I wanted to have nothing to do with the movie just on the basis of that trailer.

And I know that BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS has its fans here, but I find it dreadful in every respect, too.

Matt H. · « **Reply #9 on:** May 29, 2004, 06:16:31 AM »

Just wanted to remind those interested that the documentary about ELAINE STRITCH AT LIBERTY comes on HBO tonight at 8 p.m. EDT followed by the broadcast premiere of DOWN WITH LOVE which I know several of you didn't like but which I'm eager to see since I didn't see it at the theater or rent it on DVD.

Matt H. · « **Reply #10 on:** May 29, 2004, 06:19:05 AM »

Have to agree about the musical LOST HORIZON, too. And I loathed the cut (theatrical) edition of HEAVEN'S GATE. Did anyone ever see the much expanded director's cut? Is it any better in the three hour long version?

As for celebrated bad movies, I've never seen ISHTAR or GIGLI so I can't comment on either of them.

td · « **Reply #11 on:** May 29, 2004, 06:57:36 AM »

Count me in as one of the few, the precious few, who actually SAW SKIDOO in theaters in its initial run! Didn't know what to make of it then, but, I know I would love to see it once more. surprisingly enough, Mr. Leonard Maltin's TV & Video Movie Guide is kinder to SKIDOO than I would have ever dreamed!

EYES WIDE SHUT certainly falls into the category of today's TOD for me. THE SHINING, also. BARRY LYNDON.

CALIGULA as produced by Penthouse certainly had game (and very flesh-baring) actors and extras running around, but still managed to be unerotic and ridiculous.

FREEBIE AND THE BEAN is the only film I have ever walked out of.

SUCH GOOD FRIENDS is a true curio, see it only if you want to see the aged Burgess Meredith in the buff. (like Danny DeVito's butt in BIG FISH a traumatic experience).

And, before it's brought up, I am one of the admirers of AT LONG LAST LOVE in either of its incarnations: the television cut, done by Bogdonavich, may be slighter better if only because Ms. Kahn is given so much more to do and sing.

I thought I would like LOST HORIZON. The opening sequences on the airfield are nearly shot-for-shot from the Capra film, then suddenly we're on the redressed CAMELOT set (which hardly looks redressed), there's this weird fertility dance (IF seen in its theatrical cut), there are Olivia Hussey's . . .well, let's say that she's grown a lot since ROMEO AND JULIET.

There's another: Baz Lurman's ROMEO + JULIET is pretty bad all around, too.

Jrand73 · « **Reply #12 on:** May 29, 2004, 07:00:01 AM »

DRJANE - I thought I wrote about RAMAR yesterday...grrrrrrr....anyway, I remember it well, and the station here also showed it with TARZAN and BOMBA movies. I liked it better than JUNGLE JIM.

My favorite though was CAPTAIN GALLANT OF THE FOREIGN LEGION with Buster and Cuffy Crabbe. I loved those hats!

I have heard people talk about CHINA SMITH, but I have never seen an episode.

Gee, worst movies....hmmmmmm. Maybe the remakes of NOT OF THIS EARTH and INVADERS FROM MARS....or maybe those were just unnecessary movies.

I guess if I was to choose a WORST movie I ever paid to see, it would have to be THE WIZ.

Jrand73 · « **Reply #13 on:** May 29, 2004, 07:02:07 AM »

DRMATTH - I enjoyed DOWN WITH LOVE a lot. If you have a chance, watch PILLOW TALK this afternoon so you can see how clever it really is. I liked it, and I know a lot of people didn't, but I thought it was a clever and knowing homage to Doris and Rock, not a satire of the genre. Anxious to hear what you think of it.

I used to have the soundtrack album from SKIDOO! Hmmmmmm....avoided the movie like the plague.

Jrand73 · « **Reply #14 on:** May 29, 2004, 07:04:51 AM »

td- you are so right about LOST HORIZON....the first part is so good, and I even think we're going to be allright....but then there is OOlivia and that horrible dancing...and then the awful awful songs and choreography start, and there is no hope. Hermes Pan did a terrible job, the library song is staged in a ridiculous way (suddenly these characters start performing!) - maybe...just maybe...with a different composer/lyricist it might have had a chance. Who knows?

Matt H. · « **Reply #15 on:** May 29, 2004, 07:08:27 AM »

Actually, I recently re-watched PILLOW TALK when I was trying to decide if the non-anamorphic copy I had was good enough or if I wanted to trade up to what some people had said was a very mediocre new transfer despite being anamorphic. So, I should be ready.

I AM looking forward to seeing it. Can't believe I let time slip by and not rented it or borrowed it to watch before now. But, I'll watch it in high definition tonight and let you know what I think. And I say right off the bat that I'm a HUGE fan of the Doris Day-Rock Hudson movies.

Matt H. · « **Reply #16 on:** May 29, 2004, 07:12:13 AM »

I'm also a fan of AT LONG LAST LOVE. No, it's a very flawed film, but I find it genuinely entertaining despite the lack of musical comedy know-how by Reynolds and Shepherd.

If Fox can give us MYRA BRECKINRIDGE, why not AT LONG LAST LOVE?

td · « **Reply #17 on:** May 29, 2004, 07:22:40 AM »

And if MYRA can have a director's commentary, why not one from Bogdonavich on AT LONG LAST LOVE?
Fox has been good with seamless branching several of its titles (INDEPENDENCE DAY, THE ABYSS) in order for two cuts of a film to be on one dvd, they could also do this with AT LONG LAST LOVE.

Oh, the one thing that is jarring in the television cut: the late Dulio del Pretti's (translated meaningL Dull, but Pretty) over the top delivery of Porter's "Tomorrow."

Jrand73 · « **Reply #18 on:** May 29, 2004, 07:28:53 AM »

LOL....some people certainly live up to their names!

OH OH OH OH....on July 7 - DVD alert: THE ONE AND ONLY GENUINE ORIGINAL FAMILY BAND!!! I am ten feet off the ground!

DRMATTH don't don't be scared by how (the late) Tony Randall looks...he doesn't hide any of his years! But David Hyde-Pierce in the "Tony" role is very funny. And of course physically, Doris and Rock make Renee and Ewan look like someone's plain cousins - but they try!

Matt H. · « **Reply #19 on:** May 29, 2004, 07:52:46 AM »

DR JRand wrote: "OH OH OH OH....on July 7 - DVD alert: THE ONE AND ONLY GENUINE ORIGINAL FAMILY BAND!!! I am ten feet off the ground!"

I have to admit after THE HAPPIEST MILLIONAIRE, I gave this one a pass, so you'll have to tell me what you like about it so much.

JoseSPiano · « **Reply #20 on:** May 29, 2004, 08:07:29 AM »

Good Morning!

-And it's quite the nice morning here in the DC Metro Area - mid-70s, and the humidity is low too. Perfect for the dedication of the WWII Memorial today.

Worst movie I've seen... Probably CHILDREN OF THE CORN. That's all that comes to mind right now.

-Oops, I'm the bad host... No orange juice, no coffee... ah, well.. Steve seems to be doing fine with yogurt and white grape juice.

In any case...

I need to continue waking up...

bk · « **Reply #21 on:** May 29, 2004, 08:31:00 AM »

New Juliana journal entry up.

Agreed about Battlefield Earth - amazingly bad.

Keep the home fries burning until my early afternoon return.

bk · « **Reply #22 on:** May 29, 2004, 08:35:21 AM »

I'm shocked no one has seen China Smith, starring the great Dan Duryea and Dan Seymour (who'd you'd know instantly from many Warners films). It was a spinoff from a film (not called China Smith - an early Aldrich film) and was produced by Robert Aldrich (he also directed many of the episodes).

bk · « **Reply #23 on:** May 29, 2004, 08:37:37 AM »

Now, may I just say where in tarnation IS everyone? You'd think it was Saturday on a holiday weekend or something.

JoseSPiano · « **Reply #24 on:** May 29, 2004, 08:41:42 AM »

DR Swishy Sarah et al et bruno et giovanni... As for catching CHILDREN OF EDEN sometime in the next month... We'll be closing next Friday, June 4. So, if you plan to catch it next month, you'll only have four days of that month to do so. -But there will be five shows since we have a 1:00 matinee on Thursday. *And if you'd like a 1/2 price seat, just contact me. And they still do have the "obstructed view" seats you can buy at the box office - and then just move to a better seat if it's available - the ushers here are pretty easy going.

-I'm still waking up... but at least I'm waking up...

Jrand73 · « **Reply #25 on:** May 29, 2004, 08:48:46 AM »

DRMATTH - I had the BAND soundtrack LP a long time before I ever saw the movie - and I really liked the songs. Of course the staging in the movie (I have only seen the TV version) didn't come close to what I had done in my head, but it was still enjoyable.

I guess I like it because of the score!

Jason · « **Reply #26 on:** May 29, 2004, 08:49:02 AM »

Gotta get ready for FIDDLER and 42ND STREET, but I wanted to check in before I hopped in the shower. I still have four pages of posts from YESTERDAY to read because I fell asleep around 8:30 last night and quite literally slept until 5 this morning, finished watching 'The Sword and the Stone' and went back to bed! Now I must get ready for a day chock full of musical theatre! Ciao!

bk · « **Reply #27 on:** May 29, 2004, 08:51:25 AM »

I'd add the movie Bounce to one I thought terrible with no redeeming qualities.

MBarnum · « **Reply #28 on:** May 29, 2004, 08:52:50 AM »

Well, I have seen many a bad film in my day...but some of them I love! So I will just list movies that I saw and hated. They might not be bad movies, but for me they were awful.

That Matrix sequel...I didn't see the first movie so maybe I couldn't understand the second one...I just know I could not wait for it to end....then there was the last two Star Wars sequels...fell asleep at the theater during one of them...the other one I just wanted to slit my wrists so that the agony would end! LOL!

DearReaderLaura · « **Reply #29 on:** May 29, 2004, 09:03:52 AM »

I don't know from bad movies, but I am sure that "Dude Where's My Car?" must be pretty bad because it has such a dumb title.

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Author Topic: HAVE I STAYED TOO LONG AT THE FAIR? (Read 21650 times)

MBarnum