Woody, I knew Maggie Raye quite well, having toured with her for six months in dinner theatre in an opus called EVERYBODY LOVES OPAL. All I can say is if folks you knew were waiting for her to come out of the closet, I don't know what they were waiting for...
Every night after the show, Maggie insisted that her inner circle...most of the cast...gather at her apartment until she usually passed out. Since I was travelling with Hotspur, my yorkie, she took a shine to me, and not only was I always invited, I always had to pick up Hotspur so he could play with her yorkie and poodle, Conky and Dickens. She used to call me the Intellectual, because when she was my partner in password, I'd give her clues she didn't understand. The ritual usually involved us playing games or watching old movies and Martha drinking straight vodka in a tall glass until she nodded off or tucked into bed. She never drank before a show, it was always after, and she could pack it away. She also liked me because I knew all about the films and stars of her era and when we watched the movies she would tell stories about them and her life.
Though she travelled with a middle-aged English assistant/keeper/secretary who may or may not have been gay (I never got a vibe off her one way or another), Martha spoke about the men in her life and men in general fondly. Often her ex-husband...number two or three out of like five, father of her only child and maybe her manager as well...Nick Condos would come in for a visit. Though Martha at this point in her life was probably way past sex of any sort, mostly because of her drinking, I never got any indication from her that she was anything other than interested in men from a sexual point-of-view. Nor did any of the other cast members who I knew and were closer to her than I ever suggest or hint at such a thing.
She, of course, had a huge gay following and like most performers in show business had gay friends. With her, I first saw Charles Pierce and met Rock Hudson who was a close friend of hers (and a very nice man).
I think Martha's last marriage to an obviously gay man was an abberation of a woman who was ill, probably suffering from some form of alcohol dementia and diminshed capacity, and was looking for a caretaker at that point in her life. In such a situation, opportunists circle.
Maggie could be a very difficult, exasperating woman. But she could also be generous and kind and touching. She was a trouper on stage and could wear a much younger person out with her energy. And as you say, she was a more complex person than one might imagine at first glance. I always loved to hear her sing and my fondest memories of her was when she would join some piano player in a bar and sing a number just for me.
One thing that I dislike about a portion of the gay community is that there are those in it...usually sad, unhappy individuals...who are always looking for company and try to insist certain individuals are gay or try to out people when they have absolutely no shred of evidence to support their claims or accusations. Of course, if you are in show business, it is an occupational hazard. At some time in your career you'll have the charge levelled at you. I have heard it about almost every Hollywood star out here at one time or another.
