I am trying, dear readers, oh, yes, I am trying - trying to watch something called Van Helsing. Oh, I know you all love Hugh Jackman, and I enjoy him, too, but this thing is just hopeless - made for the ADD generation who can't go two minutes without some noisy action sequence. It opens with one (de rigeur) and then two minutes later (one year later, according to the title card) we get another with "Dr. Jekyll" who looks like he escaped from an amateur version of Shreck. Blechhh. The question is, dare I watch the rest? It's two hours and seventeen minutes long! Oh, and what about the scene where Van Helsing gets all the latest weaponry - complete with a "Q" type showing him and making with the pithy comments. Do they think no one has seen a James Bond film, or is this supposed to be an homage or some kind of parodic sequence. Parasite would be more like it.