Well, dear readers, as I often have said, there are days and there are days. Yesterday was a day I could have done without. I really didn’t want to leave the house for three hours, go sit in a restaurant where the air conditioning was blowing on me or go to Gelson’s in person to get a couple of things. I only wanted the condition my condition is in to keep getting a bit better every day. Yesterday was not that day. Yesterday, I was coughing up too much damn gunk too often and every time that happens, my voice gets hoarser. I mean, it’s still there but weak. I have been, as you know, VERY circumspect about stuff that’s been going on with my health – I just haven’t wanted to talk about it because it’s really nobody’s business but mine own, but the results of the recent blood test are not so good, I think we now know what the exact problem is, the real problem is they don’t know anything about it, there is medication that can absolutely help and I want to get on it quickly. Quickly doesn’t seem to be a word anyone understands. Cedars knows the referral is urgent, so they’ve put it out to other providers and if my doctor thinks they’re okay I’ll do that, but I’d rather be at Cedar’s, where I know I’m completely covered for everything. What I don’t want is for anything to get worse before seeing the people I need to see. But as soon as I read up on the condition I most likely have, everything made perfect sense. The double vision, the droopy eyelid and the stuff I haven’t mentioned in these here notes, which is after about ten minutes of talking I have trouble articulating certain letters like “Rs” Gs and Js – mostly those. If I’m eating something of weight, like a burger or steak or chicken, my mouth muscles start to not work properly. That doesn’t happen much, but it does happen. I do mouth exercises daily and even eye exercises and that seems to be helping. It’s why I was petrified doing the commentary for the last Kritzerland show, but happily, I only became mushed mouth once and I got through the few sentences and got the hell off. As long as I don’t talk for five minutes, then I’m fine again. I really hate this stuff, but I will not let it impact me negatively – as Miss Molly Brown so famously said, “I Ain’t Down Yet.” And I ain’t. But I do want to get to a specialist as soon as is humanly possible so they can give me the meds that help prevent stuff from getting worse. That’s the story and I don’t care who knows it. Sometimes the mush mouthed stuff is amusing to me – most people don’t even notice it, but to my ears I sound like a drunk Latvian trying to read War and Peace in both English and Russian at the same time.
Anyway, enough of that malarkey. The only upside of being at breakfast was when 98-year-old William Daniels came in with his wife, Bonnie Bartlett and a friend of theirs. I had bacon and eggs and toast. Didn’t touch their hash browns as eating their hash browns is like eating staples. I then went to Gelson’s and got some chicken bits for faux chicken stroganoff, and finally came home at eleven-fifteen. I was completely zonked so I plopped down on the bed and slept another two and a half hours on top of the seven hours I’d gotten. I didn’t do much of anything, which is what I wanted, but as I said, coughing up disgusting gunk too damn much. I do feel that it’s all in my chest and for whatever reasons is taking a long time to break up. I’m not going anywhere until this is completely gone. I did get the back cover of the new book and it looks great – I just asked for one simple little addition and then that’s done. I have to get the flap copy done and then everything will be ready for the publisher as soon as I get a final galley after the final proofing. I am determined to have books in hand no later than end of October so we can get them all shipped in plenty of time for the holidays. I’m very anxious to share with you what it is and what it isn’t, not necessarily in that order. I watched nothing of consequence save for three episodes of a HBO documentary series called Hollywood Demons, delving into stories like the Stephen Collins business and stalkers, and kid stars who became violent offenders as adults. The problem is they have the same talking heads for every episode, and I hate two of them.
Then I got it into my head that I wanted crab cakes for my main meal. In looking for them, I found that a nearby jernt called The Crabby Crab had fried clam strips – well, shiver me timbers, I had to order that, and I did order that. And then I ordered bite-sized crab cake bits from The Cheesecake Factory. Both arrived at the same time. The fried clams were just like Howard Johnson’s were, but their tartar sauce wasn’t that great – not bad – but not great. The crab cake bites were not too good. But there’s a newish steak jernt very close to here that I didn’t know existed and I’m going to try their crab cakes, which sound like the real deal.
Today, I’ll be up when I’m up, and please send vibes and xylophones that I’m feeling better again and also for a modern major miracle or three. I have to attend to the flap copy, which I only do as a rough thing that then goes to someone else to smooth out. I’ll try doing an order for the Kritzerand show and maybe starting to write the commentary, which I’ll keep on the short side for the reasons you now know and that you know now. I’ll make faux chicken stroganoff and then I’ll watch, listen, and relax.
The rest of the week is hopefully finally, at long last being rid of this crud once and for all and to get my voice back to its usual strength. I was thinking about buying a vaporizer. I haven’t done that in years, but that’s the way I always got rid of gunk when I was an actor. Thirty minutes in front of that sucker and inhaling the mist always did the trick. I assume they still sell those somewhere and if CVS has them, I’ll just DoorDash it right the hell over and start using it immediately. If I’m still struggling by the weekend, then I’ll get a prescription that Robert Yacko got for his crud – it’s a pack of pills – you start with six the first day, then one less every day thereafter. It really cleared him up good.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up when I’m up, send vibes and xylophones for me to be feeling better and for a few modern major miracles, I’ll rough out front and rear flap copy for the dust jacket, I’ll attempt a show order and then write commentary, eat, and then watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: What’s the most serious illness you’ve ever had and for those who we know got through serious illnesses, we’re sure glad you did, and we send all good vibes and xylophones to dear reader Iris, too. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, happy to know that yesterday is done, see the pretty countryside, and I ain’t down yet.