Well, dear readers, I have had occasion in recent times to think of parenting, especially what is called parenting today. I have been hearing tales that have made my blood curdle. Not tales of abuse, not tales of neglect, no nothing like that. I’m talking especially about the parenting of the rich and entitled, who are passing down to their children the belief that the child is entitled to anything and everything, the child can always get its own way, the child never does anything wrong, the child should be coddled and petted and never scolded and never disciplined. I know someone who was hired to be a nanny to two children. She was told at the outset that there were certain rules – the children had to do this, couldn’t do that, had to eat certain things like vegetables, and all that jazz. This is the children’s tenth nanny. Yes, you heard that right – their TENTH nanny. The parents, who, it would seem, wanted to have two children, have spent most of the time since the children were born not being anywhere near them. These children have had a nanny since the day they were born. The mother, who owns her own business, went right back to work, the father is in television so we all know what that means. They rarely actually see their children. The kids are picked up from school by the nanny, fed by the nanny, and usually put to bed by the nanny as the parents are frequently not home by bedtime. Are these children the parents’ toys? Do they feel no responsibility to raise their children? The answer, sadly, is no. The male child is ADD and has emotional issues, crying at the drop of a hat if things don’t go exactly as he wishes. The girl has similar issues. But it’s the parents who are to blame. Here are two recent examples of how these parents are. Example one: The children are picked up from school. They want to stop at Pinkberry. It is only ninety minutes till dinner and the nanny doesn’t think it’s a good idea, as the kids will then not want to eat. She is right. She tells them no. The boy cries. The boy demands to call daddy. The boy calls daddy and tells him he wants a Pinkberry and mean nanny won’t stop. What does daddy do? He tells nanny to take the kids to Pinkberry. At dinner, the kids are not hungry. Example two: Dinner. The female child doesn’t like the sauce the housekeeper made for the pasta and refuses to eat it. The boy refuses to eat the vegetables. The nanny says they need to eat their dinner (that, after all, is a rule from mom) and holds firm. The children cry. The girl calls mommy. Mommy tells her “you don’t have to eat what you don’t want – have some cereal.” She tells her son he doesn’t have to eat the vegetables. So, what does that say to the children? That says, quite simply, that THEY are in charge and THEY don’t have to do anything the nanny says ever. The parents have effectively neutered the nanny, empowered their spoiled children, and I find that so disgusting that I’d like to go over there with a social services person and put those kids in a home with real parents who know how to love and raise children, so that the children don’t grow up thinking they are entitled to everything and if they don’t get it they can throw a fit and that someone will listen and/or care. Note to kids: One you leave the nest, no one will care. You won’t be able to have your weakling father give in (although he’ll probably have bought the kids a house, a BMW, and given them unlimited use of credit cards). And we wonder why the world is in the shape it is. Children need discipline. They need to know they can’t have it their way all the time. They need to know when they’ve done something that is not okay. It’s Parenting 101, only today’s crop of parents don’t know anything about it. Not all parents, of course. I find that middle class parents are much better with their children. They’re actually there for them. Yes, there is too much regimentation and not enough room for children to grow and discover things slowly and on their own. I once had a nine-year-old call me after reading Benjamin Kritzer. “I want your childhood” the kid said to me. Meaning she wanted the FREEDOM to walk places, the FREEDOM to discover things without being watched like a hawk, tied to a cell phone, or having her entire day and evening planned for her down to the last minute. Give kids the breathing room they need. Stop this hurling of information at them non-stop, this bombardment of images and fast editing and loudness that is the world we live in. Stop the sexualization of children – the media should be held accountable, advertisers who pander sexual images and thoughts to children should be held accountable – it is appalling that we live in an age where children of ten and eleven are discovered having sex in middle school. And then people laugh and say “Oh, we did that when we were kids.” Really? I don’t think so. The nanny said she was going to have a conversation with mom because if the rules have changed she wants to know – and if the rules are that no matter what the nanny says the kids can go around her, then she’s not going to say anything to the kids – she’ll take them to Pinkberry every day just before dinner if that’s what they want, they don’t have to eat what’s prepared for them (by the housekeeper – yes, now the rich and entitled need a housekeeper AND a nanny), she’ll just sit back and let them do whatever they damn well please. The mom will probably go on the defensive (guilt, anyone?) and perhaps it will be nanny number eleven. The nanny isn’t working that much to care, frankly. This is a topic that really gets my goat, as you can probably tell. Note to sickening, rich and entitled parents – you’re children are only children once. What the HELL is the matter with you? Be a PARENT. Be RESPONSIBLE. It’s not about sending your kid to the most expensive school there is, it’s about being a PARENT, being THERE, CARING, and NOT entrusting the raising of a child to a stranger. There, I am done with this rant and now I have no more goat.
Whew, that was long. Well, other than that, I had a pretty nice day, but very long with a lot of work. I got up early, CDs arrived, and helper and I got them all packaged up, did the big dealer orders, a few book orders, and then got everything to the post office and the UPS Store. By noon we were exhausted, so we went to California Pizza Kitchen for lunch. I had the teeny-tiny lettuce wedge (about three bites is all it is), and tried something I’ve never had before at CPK – a chicken salad sandwich with walnuts and cranberries on onion/herb focaccia. It was really good and I’ll now make that a regular thing – it also helps that it’s pretty much the lowest calorie thing on the menu. After that, I had to do some errands and whatnot, pick up a couple of packages, and write a lot of questions for the Andrea Marcovicci event. Then we had a little drama to deal with, quite unnecessary, and then I sat on my couch like so much fish.
Last night, I watched a motion picture on Blu and Ray entitled The Kid, written, directed and starring Mr. Charles Chaplin, along with a brilliant performance by child actor Jackie Coogan. It’s one of my favorite Chaplin films, and it never ceases to make me laugh and cry. Chaplin wrote a score for the film in the early 1970s, and it really works well – I think Chaplin was a hummer as a composer, and his orchestrators and arrangers would notate the music, and make it real music. I’m withholding judgment on the transfer until I do a little comparison with the DVD – it’s clearly from the same master as the last batch of Chaplin DVDs from MK2 in Europe. The Blu-Ray is region B, but I’m sure these will eventually find their way here.
After that, I listened to some music, including a new Kritzerland project coming down the line – it’s quite rousing. Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below whilst I think about starting a petition to make Parenting 101 mandatory.
Today, I have a ninety-minute meeting for the long musical, after which I have another ninety-minute meeting with Mr. David Wechter about a project we’re going to write, and then I’ll hopefully be able to drop off CDs to a local dealer, and then I’ll come home and finish off the last few Andrea questions and go over them to make sure I’m happy with all of them.
Tomorrow, of course, is the Andrea Marcovicci event and I do hope some of our West Coasters will be in attendance. After we’re done, I have to drop books off at Mystery and Imagination, and then I think I’ll be seeing a show in the evening.
Sunday, I’m having a visit with Ye Olde Brothere and his son. That should be fun. And during the weekend I do have some other work to attend to, like announcing our new title.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, have a meeting, have another meeting, drop off CDs and come home. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday – what is currently in your CD player and your DVD/video player? I’ll start – CD, Marathon Man and various other soundtracks. Blu-Ray, the rest of The Magnificent Seven sequels. Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, and if anyone would like to chime in on Parenting 101, I would welcome the discourse, of course. Now, where’s my goat?