Well, I've struggled internally with this for long enough - several days now - and it's time to share the bad news with you all: I've been laid off.
My last day at work will be this coming Wednesday, April 15th. This is totally due to business volume and not due to my job performance. I've watched as our company divested from its parent, going from 25,000 employees worldwide to just 125 U.S. employees just a month ago, with a huge layoff within our ranks at that time, which I survived. And a few days ago, they dropped another 16% - and this time, my luck didn't hold. I understand the logic: I'm the only one in my location, reporting into a group and a manager that reside in Dallas, so it was probably just a matter of time. I will have a period where my salary will continue to be paid, and of course I can collect unemployment. So it could be worse. But it was not an outcome I was hoping for, obviously. Especially since I detest interviewing. And it turns out to be incredibly bad timing to have just purchased a new car.
This is my first layoff since I entered the workforce 24 years ago, and it will be the first time in all those years that I will wake up in the morning without a place I need to be. So it will be interesting, certainly. I will be job seeking, of course, but I also plan to use the time to invest in a major de-cluttering project at home, as well as getting my health and weight in better shape. So in that sense, this is an opportunity that comes along rarely in one's adult life.
To that end, I may check be checking in here a little less frequently once this all kicks in. Not that I don't love you all, but knowing myself the way I do, I could easily spend all day on here, procrastinating from doing the hard work that needs to be done. So I will need to take this time and do this thing for myself.
I know it was purely a financial business decision. And though I know it's not rational, I can't help feeling embarrassed about losing my job - like I'm a failure. Indeed, at first I wasn't going to tell anyone at the office - just quietly disappear. But the word seemed to get out anyway - some people let go were actually escorted out the door immediately - and I decided it was healthier to deal with the feelings and talk to the people that I will be leaving behind.
You are all wonderfully supportive, and I do NOT want this to turn into a pity party. Heaven knows, I still have it much better than so many people hurting out there - financially and health-wise. But I did feel it important that all of you know what is going on with me. So it is acknowledged, and we can all move right along.
Thanks for listening!
