DR Jason, hello, nice to see you again!
Your candid post touched me, because - although I'm not all that much older than you - it wasn't so long ago that I had the same issues with my family. In fact, I still have a bit of them today. It seems I just can't control myself when my mom is here for too long and I end up acting like a total beaver and hating myself for it. And when I visit my dad for too long, I get really irritable and I can't wait to leave. I start feeling really judgmental toward my family and wishing they were a little more enlightened (because I'm such a shining example of a perfect human being :rolleyes: )
Hey look, I love my family and I respect and admire what's great about them; but these people are not *chosen* to be part of our lives. Not by us, anyway. And we have a lot in common with them, much more than we are quite comfortable with, and often the most irritating qualities they display are the ones we hate the most about ourselves. Personally, it's one of my most primal fears (TOD!) that I'm going to turn out like my mom; and there's one thing about my dad in particular that I worry will rear its ugly mug in my own life.
I think it's okay to feel guilty, because it shows you're a sensitive human being with compassion who recognizes when you are treating people in a way you would not like to be treated. Just recognize it for what it is and give yourself a break for being a human being. And know that you're not alone -- I feel your pain!