DR Edi - condolences on the death of your cousin. It sounds like you "lost" her long ago.
They were the cousins that we were closest to as kids, but since we never lived near them and spent most summers moving, we would only see them once or twice a year. This cousin was the step-daughter of my mom's sister, and older than my other cousins (about 6 years older than me) so I always thought of her as the wild, cool cousin. I got her hand-me-down clothes, which were always expensive, Town and Country clothes that I would never be seen wearing (I adopted more of a "granola" look, much to my mother's disappointment) but she was always someone I looked up to. She smoked even in high school so the emphysema didn't surprise me. She had been estranged to her family for many, many years. I made a trip to Ohio one summer when she was going to visit and she seemed like a completely different person. She stayed in touch with her mother's father untl the grandmother died, so that's how we kept track of how she was doing.
Last year, her two half-sisters visted her in Boulder. She was not pleased about it but by the end she said she was glad that they had come. I'm glad that they were able to see her.
They are trying to honor her by including Buddhist elements in her memorial service, which she would have wanted, while also including Christian elements, which the family would want.
