Favorite lines from
A Christmas Story[/i][/b]:
Ralphie as Adult:
[narrating] Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl.
***
Ralphie as Adult:
[narrating] My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master.
***
Ralphie as Adult:
[narrating] In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.
***
Ralphie as Adult:
[narrating] Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. Though my personal preference was for Lux, I found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on the other hand... YECCHH!
***
Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Mrs. Parker: No, you'll shoot your eye out.
***
[Ralphie is visiting Santa at the department store, only he can't remember what he wanted]Santa Claus: How about a nice football?
Ralphie as Adult:
[narrating] Football? Football? What's a football? With unconscious will my voice squeaked out 'football'.
Santa Claus: Okay, get him out of here.
Ralphie as Adult:
[narrating] A football? Oh no, what was I doing? Wake up, Stupid! Wake up!
Ralphie:
[Ralphie is shoved down the slide, but he stops himself and climbs back up] No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
***
Ralphie as Adult:
[narrating, after BB gun shot bounces off target and hits his face] Oh my god, I shot my eye out!