Topic: LAUGHING IN THE FACE OF SUCH INCOMPETENCE (Read 24047 times)

DERBRUCER · « **Reply #30 on:** February 17, 2004, 08:29:30 AM »

Help is here for diet conscious DRs:

WebMD

Losing Weight With Cupid

Need a fun way to shed pounds? Try kissing and a little sex.…

The total stats for the Kissing Diet are nothing to sneeze at:
·   3 kisses per day at 9 calories per event X 365 days = 9,855 calories
·   2 amorous interludes (horizontal) per week at 212 calories per event X 52 weeks = 22,100 calories
·   Grand total = 31,955 calories per year
…

der Brucer - left speachless by this comment:

"Do it standing up and you'll burn more calories and also stress bones and muscles in different ways that would be good for you. Hold your partner in the air and you'll burn even more."

Panni · « **Reply #31 on:** February 17, 2004, 08:34:35 AM »

Oh - question #1 - When I get totally frustrated, fed up, whatever... I need to be by myself. Yelling obscenities at the walls works for me. Having a total meltdown works. But alone. I tend not to yell at others. Once in a while, very rarely, I'll really let loose on whoever is the cause of the problem. But usually I just get really icy and polite and fascistic. "You will fix this in the next 24 hours or I know people who know people who will send you to the Gulag." Like that.

DERBRUCER · « **Reply #32 on:** February 17, 2004, 08:42:58 AM »

Quote from: Panni on February 17, 2004, 08:26:45 AM

It sounds like it would be delightful with a light fruity Chardonnay.

Why dine with an anorexic trés-gay chap from Thistletown?

der Brucer (remember the no groaning rule!)

DERBRUCER · « **Reply #33 on:** February 17, 2004, 08:44:52 AM »

Quote from: Panni on February 17, 2004, 08:34:35 AM

Yelling obscenities at the walls works for me.

How about a screenplay where the walls yell back?

PennyO · « **Reply #34 on:** February 17, 2004, 08:47:41 AM »

Oh, Brucer! Roses, for ME?

Okay, so I love RED. But if you're really going to do that, could you please come early, and we'll rehearse a 'bit'? Something I love to do, whenever I have complicity from civilians... mwuah-ha-ha!

DERBRUCER · « **Reply #35 on:** February 17, 2004, 08:56:11 AM »

And to answer Question #1:

Martinis with Olives and pickled tomatoes
Corned beef with cabbage and boiled potatoes
Filet steaks with Béarnaise and crisp onion rings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the TIVO breaks
When the phone never rings
When there’s no DSL lad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

der Brucer (keeping the day job)

DERBRUCER · « **Reply #36 on:** February 17, 2004, 08:58:23 AM »

Quote from: PennyO on February 17, 2004, 08:47:41 AM

But if you're really going to do that, could you please come early, and we'll rehearse a 'bit'? Something I love to do, whenever I have complicity from civilians... mwuah-ha-ha!

When and where shall we be complicit?

Donna · « **Reply #37 on:** February 17, 2004, 08:58:33 AM »

Letting off steam: Some ways I cope with frustration of the people kind is:
1) Get on the computer and type it all out not worrying about spelling, grammar or punctuation. I then file it in my RANT file where it remains (hopefully) forever. I've accummulated quite an assortment.
2) Go roller skating. Yes, Virginia, roller rinks still exist. Somehow the combination of the music, roller wheels on the wood floor and going round and round calms me down.
3) Get a shiatsu massage. I emphasize shiatsu because they can really dig into the tight spots that inevitably show up in my back, shoulders, neck and upper arms. When it's over, I feel limp as a ragdoll and don't care about anything except to curl up in a ball and take a nap (which is another way I cope).
5) Lastly, when all else fails, I slam down the receiver!

One thing I AVOID doing is talking about my troubles to my best friend -- which I've found only increases my frustration and makes my friend feel miserable too!

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #38 on:** February 17, 2004, 08:58:59 AM »

For Jose S. Piano, and all others herein, I, RLP, am Ron Pulliam returned to the fold after a well-earned break for reflection.

George · « **Reply #39 on:** February 17, 2004, 09:17:32 AM »

Welcome back, Ron!

TCB · « **Reply #40 on:** February 17, 2004, 09:20:51 AM »

Quote from: DERBRUCER on February 17, 2004, 08:56:11 AM

And to answer Question #1:

Martinis with Olives and pickled tomatoes
Corned beef with cabbage and boiled potatoes
Filet steaks with Béarnaise and crisp onion rings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the TIVO breaks
When the phone never rings
When there’s no DSL lad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

der Brucer (keeping the day job)

Good Lord, man, what size martini glass do you use??? I would think that those pickled tomatoes would take up a lot of room. I suppose you could put the tomato and the olive in the glass, and then just drink the gin right out of the bottle.

And speaking of Good Lord, did anyone else watch Mel Gibson's interview(?) with Diane Sawyer last evening. I would welcome your comments.

DERBRUCER · « **Reply #41 on:** February 17, 2004, 09:39:40 AM »

Quote from: TCB on February 17, 2004, 09:20:51 AM

Good Lord, man, what size martini glass do you use??? I would think that those pickled tomatoes would take up a lot of room. I suppose you could put the tomato and the olive in the glass, and then just drink the gin right out of the bottle.

I like your version, however, I use these:

put out by Old South, who also botles a mean Pickled Brussels Sprout (not for Martinis!)

They brag:

No, it’s not an olive, but a unique pickled tomato grown from our exclusive seed. Hand-picked, cured, and finished in small batches. Tomolives make the “Ultimate”martini garnish and will liven any relish tray!

Ketel One Vodka has chosen the Tomolive® as the exclusive garnish for its signature "Ultimate Martini".

Actually, in addition to the Olive and pickled Tomato, I usually throw in a small pickled onion and a Pickled Baby Corn from Reese. When I get done it's like a small salad soaking up Gin (Gilby's when on a budget, Bombay for a treat, Sapphire if I'm blue.)

der Brucer (who is regularly berated by SWW for all the bottles of Martini stuff cluttering up his 'frige)

JoseSPiano · « **Reply #42 on:** February 17, 2004, 09:43:47 AM »

Good Morning!

Topics of the Day:

#1 - Well, after my experience this weekend, I leave a nasty note, then camp out over at Steve's apartment for a few hours to calm down. Oh, and give the door a big ole SLAM!!! Otherwise, I usually pull myself from the situation, attempt to calm down... And if I happen not calm down, then I try my best to talk to the person who upset me, and talk it out. Or, I just drive around in my car and talk, well, yell, to the air. But since I hardly ever get upset - I think maybe once a year if that - "dealing with it" is something I hardly ever have to do - which, I guess, in the bigger picture, is a good thing.

#2 - Eating Raoul
Weird Romance
Assassins
Little Shop of Horrors
When Pigs Fly
Three Guys Naked from the Waist Down (a sentimental choice)
Closer Than Ever
And a few others I know aren't crossing my mind at the moment.

JoseSPiano · « **Reply #43 on:** February 17, 2004, 09:47:11 AM »

DR Jennifer - Said offender did help clean up initially - at least that's what I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt for. But since he had to head back up to school, he was not able to do the "real cleaning" last night. However, I will give my roommate brownie points for actually coming home early last night so that he could take care of the cleaning. And he did a nice job too!

JoseSPiano · « **Reply #44 on:** February 17, 2004, 09:49:51 AM »

DR DERBRUCER - Thank you for your "Tomolive" answer. I was almost thinking you had left out a comma:

"Martinis with olives, and pickled tomatoes"

-Have you ever tried/Do you like pickled okra? YUM!

JoseSPiano · « **Reply #45 on:** February 17, 2004, 09:51:32 AM »

And, finally, at least for right now... The snow event is a non-event today.

Ah, well... But the flurries looked nice.

Thus ends my mid-day posting frenzy.

Welcome Back, Ron!

Ben · « **Reply #46 on:** February 17, 2004, 09:57:32 AM »

I second Jose's mention of

When Pigs Fly

I loved it when I first saw it and ended up dragging friends to it to share the insanity.

More later.

Ben · « **Reply #47 on:** February 17, 2004, 09:57:57 AM »

Welcome back, Ron.

Ben · « **Reply #48 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:07:13 AM »

I do try to stay calm but there are times when you have to yell and threaten, it seems, to get any results. My dealings with Time-Warner Cable of New York City are a good example. Anthony was there to be the calming influence and he was able to take the phone from me when I yelled at employees (who actually knew nothing but were following the customer service script, which doesn't deal in reality but only in common problems, but that's a whole nother rant) and speak calmy to them, but after one too many phone calls dealing with incompetent employees, I sat down and wrote a long letter to TWCNYC, made photocopies of THREE YEARS (yes, 3 years) worth of bills, and photocopies of every single complaint letter I had written and sent it, not only to TWCNYC, but to the Public Service Commission, the Better Business Bureau, the NY State Telecommunications Commission, the City telecommunications office, the state Attorney General, both of my U.S. Senators, my U.S. congressman, my state representatives, and my city council representative. I laid out a lot in postage but it was worth it because I was right AND I finally got some results. It took months of complaining and many trees fell for my cause but I felt vindicated. Woe be to the business that crosses a meticulously organized man who has three years worth of bills in a filing cabinet.

William E. Lurie · « **Reply #49 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:15:44 AM »

A-Rod A-Rod A-Rod

For the last three days that has been all the NY papers have talked about. At first I didn't know what or who it was and then I discovered that is is a baseball player that is being paid $117,000,000 a year to play on the Yankees. And people think he is worth it. Where is today's value system. That money could certainly be put to better use.

I'm not putting the blame on this unknown ballplayer... it's the fault of a team that is willing to spend this kind of money. I hope they lose every game. Where are Joe Boyd and Mr. Applegate when you need them?

TCB · « **Reply #50 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:16:25 AM »

derBrucer -- Thank you for the answer about the tomatoes. I had visions of a large beefsteak tomato taking up the entire glass (and probably crushing the tiny olive). Have you ever tried the olives soaked in vermouth. There is a company out of Portland, Oregon (Thompson's) that sells them by mail order. I have a friend who wanted them for every birthday and every Christmas.

bk · « **Reply #51 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:18:05 AM »

Well, Mr. TIVO man came, and this time I finally had someone who a) was good, and b) I had a good TIVO unit apparently, because every convoluted thing we had to do last time to get the unit to take the Direct TV nightly phone call we didn't have to do. It took him ten minutes to totally set up the unit, I now have slack on the wires and everything is hunky-dorey and also dorey-hunky.

As soon as Mr. TIVO Man left, Mr. Phone Man arrived. This was a different Phone Man than yesterday. He looked at the outside box and ascertained there is nothing wrong with my wiring - the problem is "on the pole" - they need to cut out something so the signal is receieved clearly. This, he says, will happen in a day or two and that I don't have to be here.

Emily · « **Reply #52 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:22:03 AM »

Good Afternoon All Hainsies & Kimlets!!!

I have been e&t for a while now... unavoidably but regretfully, of course.

Ya want to hear scary incompetency stories? You all don't KNOW the meaning of "scary incompetence" until you have attempted to communicate with the Quebec Revenue Minister...

A couple of months ago the accountant for the lobby group I work for phoned me at the Montreal office to tell me that she had received tax forms from the Quebec government which she needed to fill out with all of the organization's Quebecois employees' incomes for the last year. Or something like that - there's a reason I am not an accountant. Well, they of course sent her copies of the form, in Toronto where she lives and works, in French with no English translation. She does not speak French. So, she was wondering if I could phone Revenu Quebec and make an official request for the forms in English.

Now this wasn't hard. I got the phone number, spoke to a very nice woman over the phone in French and in English (very surprising for a provincial employee) and was assured that the forms would be sent in English to the Toronto office ASAP.

A week later, I walked into the office and found an envelope from Revenu Quebec. Oh well, I thought, they must have just sent it here by mistake. Just to make sure they were the right forms I opened the envelope and found that I had been sent the French version of the forms.

Ooooookkkaaayyy. A slight error. So I phoned back and explained myself once again. I was apologised to over and over again and was told that the documents of the right language would be sent to Toronto.

A week later, I received yet ANOTHER phone call from the accountant telling me that the forms had arrived at her office and that they were in English. The only problem? They weren't the right forms at all.

I have given up and have officially delegated dealing with the Ministry to the other office assistant.

Now how do you like dem's incompetence?

George · « **Reply #53 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:24:11 AM »

Quote from: TCB on February 17, 2004, 09:20:51 AM

And speaking of Good Lord, did anyone else watch Mel Gibson's interview(?) with Diane Sawyer last evening. I would welcome your comments.

Darn!! I totally forgot about this!

TCB · « **Reply #54 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:27:15 AM »

Quote from: William E. Lurie on February 17, 2004, 10:15:44 AM

A-Rod A-Rod A-Rod

For the last three days that has been all the NY papers have talked about. At first I didn't know what or who it was and then I discovered that is is a baseball player that is being paid $117,000,000 a year to play on the Yankees. And people think he is worth it. Where is today's value system. That money could certainly be put to better use.

I'm not putting the blame on this unknown ballplayer... it's the fault of a team that is willing to spend this kind of money. I hope they lose every game. Where are Joe Boyd and Mr. Applegate when you need them?

Bill, this unknown ballplayer (Alex Rodriquez) is one of the elite superstars in the game of baseball. For several years, he played for my beloved Seattle Mariners, until the fool that owns the Texas Rangers (no, not George W., another fool) offered Alex $252 million over 10 years. The Yankees inherit the remaining years of his contract. Although, still grossly overpaid ($25 million a year), Alex does not get $117 million a year.

Donald · « **Reply #55 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:27:20 AM »

I just wanted to remind everyone that the new Broadway Radio Show with my chat with Noel Katz is up and running!

Enjoy

and remember, we look at the new recording of Sherry! on this coming Sunday's show

Charles Pogue · « **Reply #56 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:28:21 AM »

Blowing-off steam...Never blow off steam at underlings. They're usually minimun wage phone jockeys who have no power, know nothing, and can't personally help you. Keep asking for a supervisor or manager, go as far up the chain of command as you can get, if you have to. Always ask for everybody's name and write them down. Keep your cool and keep on point. Make them squirm, keep reminding them that this is their problem and asking what THEY are going to do about it and how they are going to make up for your lost time and money? Be polite to those who actually do help you.

If you still do not get a satisfactory solution, write a letter to the head of the company. Detailing your time spent, detailing the answers and run-arounds you got from each individual. Praise those who actually helped; be specific about those who didn't. Detail the mouth-breathers' rudeness, casualness, helplessness. Intimate that you expect some form of compensation for your wasted time and trouble resolving this.

Make the letter witty or acerbicly witty, if need be...but definitely let the top dogs know that you are disatisfied with their service. It always helps to enclose such phrases, "I was really looking forward to such and so and had heard such good things about your company. How disappointed I was." The old jockeying praise with complaint ploy. "I don't how such a fine company could condone such poor service." "I thought I should bring this appalling situation to your attention as I'm sure you are not aware of how your company is being represented in the field."

Always a litany of dates and times and what happened specifically with each individual is important. Blame those who deserve it; praise those who deserve it. Don't vent in a tirade or just spew invectives. Be creative and amusing in your criticism.

The more intelligent and collected your comments are, the more your complaint will be paid attention to. Searing satire leavened with a heaping dose of sardonic, incisive humour is always more effective than a flailing scream-fest where you just call everybody an asshole.

Usually, the classier the company, the better the results. Once Virgin Airways was late sending us our tickets. They finally came before our trip. But not before I had written them a rather long witty, entertaining letter, telling them how much I enjoyed their airline and how I'm sure this was some sort of aberration in their usually excellent service and giving them a humourously exasperated account of employees (by name), excuses, misinformation, conflicting information I had received in trying to facilitate the problem. This resulted in an apologetic phone call and getting a seventy-five dollar voucher for duty-free items on the plane (or maybe we could just take the cash). The point was they accommodated us for our trouble. (I was angling for a bump up to Upper Class, but alas...).

Be polite, but firm, and witty. Stern and unyielding, if need be. But once you scream, you've lost the upper hand.

If none of the above works, crank up the CD player, crawl in a fetal ball, and fortify yourself with lots of potato chips, chocolate, and other comfort foods.

TCB · « **Reply #57 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:34:27 AM »

Quote from: Donald on February 17, 2004, 10:27:20 AM

I just wanted to remind everyone that the new Broadway Radio Show with my chat with Noel Katz is up and running!

Enjoy

and remember, we look at the new recording of Sherry! on this coming Sunday's show

Who???

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Jrand73 · « **Reply #58 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:48:48 AM »

DR Kerry please email me your snail mail address so that I can put Jeanne Eagels in a box and send her to you.

It is 36 degrees here and it seems like spring after the below zero we have had lately!

I ordered the Pickup on South Street DVD. Of course recently my Criterion A Night To Remember stopped playing on my RCA DVD player. Hmmmmmmmm....tried cleaning it...no luck. Message is either No Disk or Disk Not Compatible....but it is a Region One disk and has played before....and everything else works. Oh well!!

Here is your Allison Hayes picture of the week - a lobby card from a favorite movie of Mr BK Attack of the 50 Foot Woman with her co-star a lovely 1958 Chrysler Imperial convertible!

Ben · « **Reply #59 on:** February 17, 2004, 10:51:53 AM »

This will be number 59 and then we should move to page 3

News:

Author Topic: LAUGHING IN THE FACE OF SUCH INCOMPETENCE (Read 24047 times)

Ben

Ben

Ben

Ben