Speaking of diets, here's a draft of "So Much Butter" from Cheekily Blonde: The Paula Dean Story
(almost a parody of "So Much Better"
)
All of the food I cooked
Hoping you’d get hooked
On my healthy cuisine
No not a single pat
Of congealing fat
In my healthy cuisine
And I have turned my kitchen inside out trying not to lose my show
Watching the turning tide is making me go whoa!
Oh!
Now viewers don’t mind a fatter hide
I’ll take you for a triglycer-ride
So what can I bake
I’ll use nothing that’s fake
And my ratings will soar
I need a trademark good as gold
Your fellas won’t mind much more to hold
I’ll use so much butter like before
Honey we’ve been obsessed
We’ve been watercressed
‘Til my viewership fell
But seems that a pound or two
Plus a poofy do
Can come off pretty well
Honey remember when we’d bake a cake on my program every night
They’d insist that I use only Fleischman’s Light
Get this right
We’re gonna use butter by the stick
No phony fat for this here chick
Being real can be hot
Are you ready or what
Hurry down to the store
I’m gonna buy butter by the tub
These days people love a funny zhlub
And now there’ll be so much butter
Your heart will flutter
The AMA’s gonna spit and sputter!
I’ll have so much butter
I’ll have so much butter
I’ll have so much butter like before!
