Jane, I just read the reviews of THE MEANING OF NIGHT and now I see what you were referring to. Yes, the main character admits to a murder early in the story. But, as the story unfolds, he tells how he was framed and betrayed, which takes place over many years, and you come to understand why he felt compelled to murder. You may not agree, but you understand it.
I don't know your taste well enough to say whether you'd enjoy it or not. It is a highly stylized book and not for those looking for a quick read. It is not gruesome and it's fairly "clean" other than the two murders. The main character is a very likable fellow until the first murder. You would like him, I think, at least up until that point.