Topic: HOARY JOKES (Read 44138 times)

Druxy · « **Reply #90 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:41:58 AM »

I used to be able to rattle off jokes 1-2-3.

Now, I can't think of one.

$:-\$

ChasSmith · « **Reply #91 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:42:09 AM »

PAGE FOUR "Lobster Bisque, Famous For This" DANCE.

Druxy · « **Reply #92 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:42:40 AM »

At least, I go us to page 4.

ChasSmith · « **Reply #93 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:43:19 AM »

I can NEVER remember jokes, either, DR Druxy. I'll be a lousy participant today.

Jane · « **Reply #94 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:49:37 AM »

DR John G the Strawberry Tarragon Martinis were very pretty.

Jane · « **Reply #95 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:50:19 AM »

From DR Ron:

Quote

Ohh...you look really pretty at avatar size...and we can see all of you!

Thank you. Maybe later I will see if I can change it.

Jane · « **Reply #96 on:** June 11, 2013, 08:51:22 AM »

DR George the Gazebo looks very nice even if it is somewhat blurry.

Jrand74 · « **Reply #97 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:06:50 AM »

The Ginger Rogers Show was the pilot Ginger was shooting at 20th Century-Fox while Cynthia Pepper was shooting the "Margie" pilot.... They were in the makeup room together early one morning, when Cynthia said to her, "I think you used to know my father....."

Of course....he was Jack Pepper, Ginger's first husband. Ginger's response was NOT reported in the TV Guide article that reported the incident.

bk · « **Reply #98 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:10:18 AM »

I gotta tell you.

Druxy · « **Reply #99 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:11:47 AM »

Quote from: Jrand62 on June 11, 2013, 09:06:50 AM

The Ginger Rogers Show was the pilot Ginger was shooting at 20th Century-Fox while Cynthia Pepper was shooting the "Margie" pilot.... They were in the makeup room together early one morning, when Cynthia said to her, "I think you used to know my father....."

Of course....he was Jack Pepper, Ginger's first husband. Ginger's response was reported in the TV Guide article that reported the incident.

Reminds me of when I was in high school, playing the lead in the Senior Play.

After the show was over, my mother's first husband came over and congratulated me.

He didn't think I knew who he was, but, of course, I did.

Jrand74 · « **Reply #100 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:12:36 AM »

Quote from: Druxy on June 11, 2013, 09:11:47 AM

Quote from: Jrand62 on June 11, 2013, 09:06:50 AM
The Ginger Rogers Show was the pilot Ginger was shooting at 20th Century-Fox while Cynthia Pepper was shooting the "Margie" pilot.... They were in the makeup room together early one morning, when Cynthia said to her, "I think you used to know my father....."

Of course....he was Jack Pepper, Ginger's first husband. Ginger's response was reported in the TV Guide article that reported the incident.

Reminds me of when I was in high school, playing the lead in the Senior Play.

After the show was over, my mother's first husband came over and congratulated me.

He didn't think I knew who he was, but, of course, I did.

Oh you wacky show biz people!

Jrand74 · « **Reply #101 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:13:28 AM »

Loved the Henny Youngman video....golden....my favorite:

A panhandler came up to me and said he hadn't eaten in three days....I told him: Force yourself.

Druxy · « **Reply #102 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:15:47 AM »

Speaking of Henny Youngman:

I was with a publicity client in the green room of the Merv Griffin Show one night, and Youngman was one of the guests.

He came in with a bunch of relatives, then told them to go out and sit in the audience. "I need the laughs," he said.

ChasSmith · « **Reply #103 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:15:56 AM »

I'm ordering a copy of Marilyn Lewis's "Marilyn, Are You Sure You Can Cook?" He Asked.

Should have some interesting stuff in it, on some level or other.

ChasSmith · « **Reply #104 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:18:07 AM »

Quote from: Jrand62 on June 11, 2013, 09:13:28 AM

Loved the Henny Youngman video....golden....my favorite:

A panhandler came up to me and said he hadn't eaten in three days....I told him: Force yourself.

That clip was better than the whole damned Tonys.

Druxy · « **Reply #105 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:19:50 AM »

Okay, here's a joke that somebody just sent me:

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard. "What the hell is the matter with you?!" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

Jrand74 · « **Reply #106 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:25:11 AM »

Jrand74 · « **Reply #107 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:26:43 AM »

Woody Allen:

"I got a job at the Folies Bergere helping the girls change their clothes....25 francs a week."

"That's not much money."

"That was all I could afford to pay."

ChasSmith · « **Reply #108 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:33:41 AM »

It might serve to post this little reminder once every couple of pages or so today:

In the words of BK,

We don’t allow groaning here at haineshisway.com.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #109 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:38:17 AM »

Quote from: Jrand62 on June 11, 2013, 08:22:22 AM

Quote from: Ron Pulliam on June 11, 2013, 08:07:55 AM
I know a great "Knock-Knock" joke, but I need one of you to start it!

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #110 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:48:40 AM »

Now repeat the rule about no groaning!

Jrand74 · « **Reply #111 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:47:55 AM »

Jrand74 · « **Reply #112 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:53:32 AM »

Scientific joke:

The bartender says: We don't serve neutrinos in here.

A neutrino walks into a bar.

[An independent recreation of the experiment in the same laboratory by ICARUS found no discernible difference between the speed of a neutrino and the speed of light.]

singdaw · « **Reply #113 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:55:25 AM »

Loving the bad jokes today!

MBarnum · « **Reply #114 on:** June 11, 2013, 09:56:09 AM »

So many funny jokes today!

singdaw · « **Reply #115 on:** June 11, 2013, 10:05:19 AM »

~ ~ ~ BASEMENT WATER-GO-AWAY VIBES ~ ~ ~ for DR Vixmom

~ ~ ~ BACKACHE BEGONE VIBES ~ ~ ~ for DR ChasSmith

singdaw · « **Reply #116 on:** June 11, 2013, 10:06:16 AM »

~ ~ ~ NO GROANING VIBES ~ ~ ~ for DR Ron Pulliam

singdaw · « **Reply #117 on:** June 11, 2013, 10:08:10 AM »

Several interesting-looking video links posted above, which I will have to explore later this evening after work.

Here's one more, in a science-geeky vein:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2013/05/17/184815141/the-little-metronome-that-wouldnt

MBarnum · « **Reply #118 on:** June 11, 2013, 10:15:19 AM »

I think that I forgot to mention that I interviewed the lovely and talented Jan Englund on Sunday.

Jan (aka Jan Lowell) co-starred in my favorite 1950s juvenile delinquent film, REFORM SCHOOL GIRL.

Here she is battling bad girl Luana Anders, with Jan the one pulling the other gals hair!

PS: Wearing the white halter top is my dear friend Diana Darrin. Next to here, in the striped top, is B movie favorite Yvette Vickers.

MBarnum · « **Reply #119 on:** June 11, 2013, 10:20:04 AM »

And here is Jan, along with her real life husband, actor/screewriter Mark Lowell (being restrained), in a tense scene from EMERCENCY HOSPITAL.

News:

Author Topic: HOARY JOKES (Read 44138 times)

MBarnum

MBarnum

MBarnum