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Author Topic: HOARY JOKES  (Read 44085 times)

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bk

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #180 on: June 11, 2013, 02:11:11 PM »

Does anyone still wear a hat?
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Jane

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #181 on: June 11, 2013, 02:10:33 PM »

Glorious weather here in Prague. Unfortunately I left my tablet on the plane and so am severely restricted with internet access!

Did you call the airline?  I hope you can pick it up on your return trip.
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bk

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #182 on: June 11, 2013, 02:11:44 PM »

Oh, and my Jerry's Deli time theory was absolutely correct.  I arrived there fifteen minutes later and got the exact booth I wanted.
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bk

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #183 on: June 11, 2013, 02:12:01 PM »

Work, I've been told, will indeed continue tomorrow.
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bk

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #184 on: June 11, 2013, 02:12:36 PM »

I guess the next time I'll be able to sleep in will be in Washington DC.  I am alerting the media no meetings or work before eleven-thirty.
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Jane

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #185 on: June 11, 2013, 02:13:54 PM »

Workers are winding down - they may or may not finish today, but definitely tomorrow - the last of the painting is happening now - all of the lattice work on the patio - boy does that help.  Originally they weren't going to do it, so I offered to pay half (it wasn't much) and that did the trick.  they've been very good to me here, and have never raised the rent in eight years.

You have been lucky.  I hope that doesn't change after all the work they are doing.
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Jane

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #186 on: June 11, 2013, 02:14:33 PM »

I like how the new board lets you fix a post. If you do it quickly enough, it doesn't even show that you had to go back in and edit.

I didn't know that.

I just tested with a quick modify.
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bk

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #187 on: June 11, 2013, 02:15:55 PM »

Workers are winding down - they may or may not finish today, but definitely tomorrow - the last of the painting is happening now - all of the lattice work on the patio - boy does that help.  Originally they weren't going to do it, so I offered to pay half (it wasn't much) and that did the trick.  they've been very good to me here, and have never raised the rent in eight years.

You have been lucky.  I hope that doesn't change after all the work they are doing.

I don't think it will - they really like having me here.
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Jane

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #188 on: June 11, 2013, 02:16:16 PM »

Workers are winding down - they may or may not finish today, but definitely tomorrow - the last of the painting is happening now - all of the lattice work on the patio - boy does that help.  Originally they weren't going to do it, so I offered to pay half (it wasn't much) and that did the trick.  they've been very good to me here, and have never raised the rent in eight years.

You have been lucky.  I hope that doesn't change after all the work they are doing.

I don't think it will - they really like having me here.

Probably nice.  Good home renters are worth keeping & appreciated more, IMHO, than apartment renters.
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bk

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #189 on: June 11, 2013, 02:19:50 PM »

Especially ones who actually take care of the house and keep it perfectly.
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George

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #190 on: June 11, 2013, 02:23:21 PM »

Especially ones who actually take care of the house and keep it perfectly.

AND might have a property for the landlord to take to Broadway!!

;)
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John G.

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #191 on: June 11, 2013, 02:47:58 PM »

Wicked winds, heavy rains, power flickering on and off, and thunder rumbling. I think I'm through with work for the day.
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John G.

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #192 on: June 11, 2013, 02:48:21 PM »

During lunch, I made a Whiskey Nut Cake. It had to bake for three hours.
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ChasSmith

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #193 on: June 11, 2013, 02:49:26 PM »

Oh, wow.  Thank you for that, DR Jane. 

I would have had no idea whether he or Marilyn were still with us (I see she still is).  RIP and thanks, sir.

I found it very interesting.  I had no idea he owned Kate Mantilini's.

I'd forgotten it, but I knew it when it was new.  I'd just moved back to L.A. from the Chicago area (late '86) and went there a number of times.  I don't remember now what the food was actually like, but I do recall liking the meatloaf and the macaroni enough to have them more than once.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2013, 02:51:40 PM by ChasSmith »
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Jane

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #194 on: June 11, 2013, 02:52:49 PM »

Especially ones who actually take care of the house and keep it perfectly.

Yup.
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MBarnum

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #195 on: June 11, 2013, 02:55:14 PM »

Macaroni and meatloaf sounds awfully good!
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John G.

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #196 on: June 11, 2013, 02:55:05 PM »

Has anybody on this site ever made a fruitcake? One that you let steep in brandy for months before eating it?
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Druxy

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #197 on: June 11, 2013, 02:56:37 PM »

Does anyone still wear a hat?

When it rains...sometimes.
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ChasSmith

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #198 on: June 11, 2013, 02:56:06 PM »

Has anybody on this site ever made a fruitcake? One that you let steep in brandy for months before eating it?

No, but I'll eat the one you make and send me for the holidays.
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John G.

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #199 on: June 11, 2013, 02:56:10 PM »

Macaroni and meatloaf sounds awfully good!
Yes, it does.
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John G.

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #200 on: June 11, 2013, 02:57:00 PM »

How to make fried bubble gum:
http://gawker.com/5837469/how-to-make-fried-bubblegum-the-latest-texas-treat




Thanks. Texas is now the butt of the hoariest joke on this board today!
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Druxy

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #201 on: June 11, 2013, 03:01:44 PM »

THIS WAS JUST SENT TO ME:



NEW YORK-Saying he could no longer stand idly by  while a vital part of American culture is lost forever, activist and  Broadway producer Mel Brooks has founded a private nonprofit  organization dedicated to preserving the word  "schmuck."
 
An  emotional Brooks stopped short of kvetching at a schmuck fundraiser  Monday.
 
"Schmuck  is dying," a sober Brooks said during a 2,000-person rally held in  his hometown of Williamsburg, Brooklyn Monday. "For many of us,  saying 'schmuck' is a way of life. Yet when I walk down the street  and see people behaving in foolish, pathetic, or otherwise schmucky  ways, I hear only the words 'prick' and 'douche bag.' I just shake  my head and think, 'I don't want to live in a world like  this.'"
 
The  nonprofit, Schmucks For Schmuck, has compiled  schmuck-related data from the past 80 years and conducted its own  independent research on contemporary "schmuck" usage. According to  Brooks, the statistics are frightening: Utterances of the word  "schmuck" have declined every year since its peak in 1951, and in  2006, the word was spoken a mere 28 times-17 of these times by  Brooks himself. The study indicates that today, when faced with a  situation in which one can use a targeted or self-deprecating insult  to convey a general feeling of disgust, people are 50 times more  likely to use the word "jerk" than "schmuck," 100 times more likely  to use "dick," and 15,000 times more likely to use "fucking  asshole."
 
Perhaps  more startling, only 23 percent of men know what schmuck means, and  only 1.2 percent of these men are under the age of 78. If such  trends continue, Brooks estimates that by 2015, such lesser-used  terms as "imbecile," "dummy," "schlub," and "contemptible  ne'er-do-well" will all surpass schmuck, which is projected to  completely disappear by the year 2020 or whenever Brooks  dies.
 
 
"We  must save this word!" Brooks said to thunderous applause as those in  attendance began chanting "Schmuck! Schmuck! Schmuck!" "How will we  be able to charmingly describe someone who acts in an inappropriate  manner? Especially given the tragic loss of the word 'schmegeggie'  in 2001. So I urge you: Tonight, when you get home, please, call up  your family, your friends, your loved ones, and tell them they're a  bunch of schmucks."
 
Hundreds  turned out at a Boca Raton, FL demonstration to show their support  for the dying word.
 
"I've  never told anyone this before," Brooks added, choking back tears,  "but my father was a schmuck."
 
The  foundation has already raised more than $20 million, thanks to  donations from supporters such as Jackie Mason, Albert  Brooks, the Schtupp Institute, Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI),  and the Henny Youngman Endowment for the Preservation of Schmekel.  The money will go toward projects aimed at reintegrating "schmuck"  into the English lexicon, including billboards and flyers plastered  with the word "schmuck," the upcoming 5K Schlep for  Schmuck Awareness, and a new Mel Brooks film<  /SPAN>.
 
"The  world cannot afford to lose this valuable and versatile word,"  Brooks told reporters during a charity auction in Manhattan's Upper  West Side Tuesday, where attendees bid for the chance to have a  private lunch with Brooks and repeatedly call him a schmuck. "You  can be a poor schmuck, a lazy schmuck, a dumb schmuck, or just a  plain old schmuck. A group of people can be collectively referred to  as schmucks. You can call someone a schmuck, and you can be called a  schmuck. You can even call yourself a schmuck." Plus, it's just so  fun to say, Brooks added. "Schmuck."
 
Many  of the foundation's volunteers say they share Brooks' passion for  the word "schmuck," as well as his outrage that it is slowly  disappearing from everyday use. They claim that if they do not act  now, the trend could create a snowball effect.
"Today it's  schmuck, tomorrow it might be toochis," said SFS volunteer Harry  Steinbergmann, 82. "What's next, schlemiel? Putz?  Yol? Schlimazel?"
 

Steinbergmann went on to classify this scenario as  farcockte
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Jane

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #202 on: June 11, 2013, 03:04:11 PM »

Has anybody on this site ever made a fruitcake? One that you let steep in brandy for months before eating it?

I would if my mother's recipe hadn't been lost.  It still sadden's me the recipe was given to my sister who didn't cook instead of to me.
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Jane

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #203 on: June 11, 2013, 03:04:40 PM »

DR Doug, do you make a fruitcake?
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Jane

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #204 on: June 11, 2013, 03:05:16 PM »

Hmmm, I'm trying to remember if my mother used brandy or bourbon.
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John G.

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #205 on: June 11, 2013, 03:05:07 PM »

Glorious weather here in Prague. Unfortunately I left my tablet on the plane and so am severely restricted with internet access!


Will you be able to get your tablet back, or is it lost forever??

I will contact the airline.
Best of luck with that. Hope the rest of the trip is better.
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John G.

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #206 on: June 11, 2013, 03:07:37 PM »

I'm trying to figure out how to store it. It's too big for the commercial fruitcake tins I have sitting around. I've got the cheesecloth to wrap it in and plenty o' bourbon to keep it moist as it ages. The beauty of this recipe (at least to me) is that it uses dried fruit, none of the candied fruit at all.
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John G.

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #207 on: June 11, 2013, 03:10:42 PM »


A glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut, split open and stuffed with savory sloppy joe, doused in a tomato-based sauce, and sprinkled with cheese.
Just because.   This is real, people!    :P



I think the burning question that's on all of our minds is: 

Would DR ChasSmith, or wouldn't he, try this?

HELL yes.

Well, I mean, once, anyway.

I'm with ya. At least once.
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John G.

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #208 on: June 11, 2013, 03:23:39 PM »

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

By the footprint in the cheesecake.
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bk

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Re: HOARY JOKES
« Reply #209 on: June 11, 2013, 03:25:05 PM »

I would not go anywhere near that Krispy Kreme thing.
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