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[JMK]

DRPanni, my friend William Burden may have been the Candide in that production.  Wonderful tenor and actor, his wife Carol did GREENWILLOW with mr at the Utah Festival  Opera in 1997.

Where is Utah Festival Opera, Elmoore?  I grew up in SLC and got my BA from the University of Utah which has, though some may scoff, a very fine music department.

[elmore3003]

Where is Utah Festival Opera, Elmoore?  I grew up in SLC and got my BA from the University of Utah which has, though some may scoff, a very fine music department.

It's in Logan, and I enjoyed my 3-4 weeks there quite a lot.

[Michael]

Need to clarify an earlier post as I have received several emails.

When we talked about Mr. Gaines we talking about the extensive work done to his face. I remember when he was good looking.

[Dan (the Man)]

Dan the Man...There are rock stars and there are rock stars.  Let me amend my statement to mean today's current crop of so-called rock stars...who aren't rock stars at all, but pop stars who half the time aren't really singing...or, if they are, they are having their anemic vocals and frail beauty contestant trills, tweaked and supported and amplified by all sorts of technical sleight-of-hand.  

But I hear enough pop vocalization in the theatre now with supposed legitimate singers (not to mention pop composing).  Let's not encourage it.

The last good rock Broadway show I saw was Smokey Joe's Cafe.  But then Stoller & Leiber are real rock and roll, not Britney Spears et al.

Okay, I see what you meant and I agree 100%.  Unfortunately, I believe that this type of pop vocalizing is going to become firmly entrenched in musical theatre.  Market-savvy producers (theatre and record company execs) will eventually pounce on the chance to have their own amusment park attractions on Broadway (and on tour) that will be little more than American Idol with a plotline.  Brooklyn, the Musical has already opened that door.

[Matt H.]

Thank you, DR George, for your work to supply many of us with delicious artsy morsels that we can enjoy. You have been indeed a busy bee.

[Matt H.]

My heart must have skipped a beat for a moment tonight during LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. Christopher Meloni's character was talking of leaving the unit and, thus, the series. Luckily his character had something of a change of heart by the end of the episode.

[Matt H.]

THE ROYAL HUNT OF THE SUN was released on DVD during the early years of DVD, and the disc is pretty wretched. A badly scarred print was used for the transfer, and nothing had been done to clean it up at all.

Now, I usually don't mind letterboxing at all, but the encoders used royal blue letterbox bars rather than black, and I find them very, very distracting.

[Kerry]

Bruce,

Why don't you record a whole Tony Hatch album?

[MBarnum]

Justs saw that LADY IN A CAGE will be out on DVD next month...along with RETURN TO PEYTON PLACE! My credit card is just itching to get used!!

[S. Woody White]

THE ROYAL HUNT OF THE SUN was released on DVD during the early years of DVD, and the disc is pretty wretched. A badly scarred print was used for the transfer, and nothing had been done to clean it up at all.

That's the release der Brucer watched.  He was not a happy camper.

[elmore3003]

I see my friends Donna Lynn Champlin and Danny Burstein are in HAROLD AND MAUDE at Papermill.  I need to hie myself out there and catch it.

Good night, all!

[Sandra]

THE MYSTERY OF THE LEEKS

Prologue

   The last conversation Lord Chutney had with his wife was one that they had had many times before that fateful day when the entire household was to congregate in the kitchen of Lord Chutney's manor house, summoned by the frantic screams of the maid Hermione upon discovering the corpse of her master, the erstwhile Lord Marston Chutney of Stoughington Manor.
   It took place mere hours before he was to be killed. Hermione heard the whole conversation from her quarters where she was donning her gardening clothes. She was going to tend her garden, out near the stables where Squire Meyer was hard at work, before gathering some of her prize-winning leeks to prepare for Lord Chutney's favorite meal, sugared leeks on toast.
   "But Millicent," she heard Lord Chutney saying to his wife. "What would the neighbors think?"
   "What neighbors?" countered Lady Chutney. "The closest building to the manor is a mile away. And it's a group home for recovering Bingo addicts. Who cares what they would think? And how would they ever know?"
   But still, Lord Chutney could not allow it. For social reasons, he could not allow it. For personal reasons, he could not allow it. He simply could not allow his wife, the respected Lady Millicent Chutney of Stoughington Manor, to become a balloon animal artist. It simply wasn't done. It just wasn't proper for the wife of a lord to twist inflatable sacs of plasticized rubber into giraffes and flamingos. He simply could not allow it.
   Seething with anger and overcome with hatred for her husband, Lady Chutney vowed that she would be rid of him once and for all. She would be rid of him and then would be free to fulfill her life-long dream and create hippos and parrots from balloons for the rest of her days. Yes, she was desperate to be rid of Marston Chutney. But was she desperate enough to commit... murder?

[Sandra]

Chapter One

   From the stables where he was brushing the horses, Squire Meyer could hear Hermione talking to herself in the garden.
   "I will never understand those two," Hermione was saying to her prize-winning leeks as she was gathering them for dinner. "She wants to make balloon animals, but he won't let her because it isn't proper. Isn't proper! He's one to talk!" she said severely to the leek she was holding in her hand before looking it over and putting it in the basket with the other leeks. "Oh, for what he's done to me, I can just kill him!"
   She contined muttering to herself and, furious with her master, left the garden to begin making dinner. Squire Meyer was left all by himself in the stables with Lord Chutney's mare, Love-in-Disguise, with a thoughtful expression on his face as he brushed the horse's glossy coat and pondered over what he had just overheard Hermione saying to her prizewinning leeks.

   Hermione walked along the path leading from the stables to the kitchen door, fantasizing about steeping Lord Chutney's leeks in rat poison before serving them to him, sugared, on toast, that evening. A sinister smile found its way to her lips.
   Outside the kitchen door were the two "boys" of Stoughington Manor, Master Cheltham Chutney and his cousin, Wallaby Willoughby. Hermione's sinister smile softened as she spied Master Cheltham, who was trying to stand on his head and was failing miserably. This is who would inherit Stoughington Manor if Lord Chutney were to die. Beside Master Cheltham, Wallaby was sitting in the grass reading a very thick book that said "Tolstoy" on it. Hermione snorted. Another one of those high-falutin' Greeks. Wallaby had come to live at Stoughington Manor when he was a baby and his mother, Lady Chutney's sister Philippa, had disappeared. She had gone swimming one day less than an hour after eating and had never been seen again.
   Wallaby, Hermione didn't care for. He was so polite, so modest, so intelligent. It was the proud, empty-headed son of Lord Chutney that she favored. And why shouldn't she? After all, she was the boy's mother.

   Nineteen years earlier, she had turned down the pleadings of one Lord Marston Chutney, whom she had met while living at the group home for Bingo addicts. He had come to volunteer at the home for court-ordered community service because of an incident involving a horse and a plate of little baby corns, pickled beets, cucumbers, chow mein noodles, cheese, and ranch dressing. It was only after he promised to take her to live at his manor with him that she succumbed to him. It was only after she had arrived at Stoughington Manor that she had learned of Lady Chutney, to whom Marston had introduced Hermione as the manor's new maid and cook. Livid and shocked at the turn of events, Hermione had confronted Marston about what he had done.
   "I promised you that you could live here," he had said to her, "and you will. We needed a new cook anyway. Our butler Cutler has been preparing our meals, and he insists on making something called floop."
   "But all I can cook is leeks," she had told him, "sugared, on toast."
   "Well, anything is better than floop," had been his response.
   She had stayed at Stoughington Manor for fear of angering Lord Chutney if she left. She wished now that she had left, for after her son was born, the result of her first meeting with Lord Chutney, he had taken the baby away and given him to Lady Chutney to raise as her own son. (Lady Chutney had been rendered barren by an incident involving some of Cutler's floop and the horse, Three-Grain-Scone, the mother of Love-in-Disguise. That was all Hermione knew about the incident. Lady Chutney didn't like to talk about it.)
   So for nineteen years, Hermione had worked her fingers to the bone, cleaning Stoughington Manor and cooking leeks, sugared, on toast, for Lord and Lady Chutney, watching her son grow into a dim-witted fool whose only goal in life was to learn to stand on his head.
   Yes, for what Lord Chutney had done to her, she could kill him.

[Sandra]

Chapter Two

   Back in the stables, Squire Meyer had finished brushing and feeding Love-in-Disguise and was preparing to go back to the house to get something to eat from the kitchen. He walked past the garden and along the path that led to the kitchen door. Outside the kitchen, he saw Wallaby reading a book, while Cheltham was yet again unsuccessfully attempting to stand on his head.
   Cheltham, he didn't care for. He was so foolish, so stupid. It was the quiet and studious nephew of Lord and Lady Chutney that he prefered. And why shouldn't he? After all, he was the boy's father.

   Nineteen years earlier, he had met Philippa Willoughby when she came to visit her sister Millicent at Stoughington Manor. Nine months later, she had faked her own death so that her son would be sent to live with his aunt and uncle. That way, he could be near his father, and she would be free to pursue a career in celebrity impersonation. She and Meyer had arranged it all. She had eaten a Lean Cuisine meal and, exactly four and a half minutes later, went swimming and slipped away, out of her son's life forever.
   No one knew that Wallaby was the son of Squire Meyer except the squire himself, and, of course, Philippa Willoughby, who was currently in Las Vegas doing eight shows a week as the world's first white female James Brown impersonator.
   Now that he was of age, as nephew of Lord Chutney, Wallaby was next in line after Cheltham as heir of Stoughington Manor. "Imagine, the son of a squire inheriting a manor," thought Squire Meyer as Cheltham once again toppled onto his face. "But only if something befalls Lord Chutney and that dim-wit Cheltham."
   Suddenly no longer hungry and with a new idea in his head, Squire Meyer entered the kitchen. When he opened the door, the leeks were cooking on the stove and Hermione was on her tip-toes reaching for something on the top shelf of a cupboard opposite the door. Her hand grasped what she was looking for, a bottle.
   Squire Meyer shut the door behind him. Startled at the sound, Hermione turned around quickly to see who had entered the kitchen. Seeing it was Squire Meyer, she hastily set the bottle on the counter behind the toaster.
   "Oh, h-h-hello, S-s-squire," she stuttered as she moved toward the stove. "The leeks will be done in a few minutes. I'm adding the sugar now" and she added some sugar from the canister next to the stove.
   "Don't mind me," said Squire Meyer. "I just need a knife so I can, uh, cut up Love-in-Disguise's carrots... Yeah, that's it." He opened the drawer nearest the toaster and took out the biggest butcher knife he could find. Peering behind the toaster, he saw that the bottle Hermione had hidden there was of rat poison.
   Before he left the kitchen, he asked Hermione, "Could you tell Lord Chutney that I'd like to see him in the stables before dinner? I want to, uh, show him something. It's about Love-in-Disguise," he added.
   "Oh, sure," said Hermione distractedly, with her eye on the toaster.

[Sandra]

Chapter Three

   In the dining room adjacent to the kitchen, the butler, Cutler, was setting the table for dinner. Leeks, sugared, on toast. Just like they had been eating for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, every day for nineteen years. He wondered what Lord Chutney liked about leeks (sugared, on toast). Why, before this Hermione had come to Stoughington Manor and replaced Cutler as cook, the Chutneys had breakfasted, lunched, snacked, and dined on Cutler's culinary masterpiece, floop. How could Lord Chutney prefer Hermione's leeks (sugared, on toast) to floop- the only salad/casserole/finger-food known to man that leaves your fingers pink and you wanting more?
   Cutler didn't understand it. And it made him angry. Very angry. Angry at Hermione, at her leeks (sugared, on toast), but mostly, angry at Lord Chutney, who didn't know a good meal when he saw one. And his anger just had to be quenched.
   Setting down the last fork, Cutler looked at the candles on the table and got an idea. Every evening, the family ate its dinner of leeks (sugared, on toast) by candlelight, by candles lit by Cutler himself, with matches that he right this very moment had in his pocket. His hand touched his pocket, felt the matches within, and an evil grin spread across his face.

[Sandra]

Chapter Four

   After she had finished preparing the leeks and Squire Meyer had left the kitchen, Hermione felt the call of nature and hurried to the bathroom to answer it. She walked through the dining room, where Cutler was standing with his hand resting on his jacket pocket and a resolute expression resting on his face.
   When she had passed through the dining room, Cutler stole into the kitchen and spied the leeks he despised so much on the counter, ready to be served. Looking around him to make sure he was alone, Cutler emptied the tureen of leeks (sugared, on toast) into a Tupperware bowl and carried it out the door and along the path leading to the garden and the stables. Outside the kitchen, he saw Wallaby Willoughby reading a book and Cheltham Chutney falling off his head. Would he never learn to balance properly? The oaf! And that Wallaby was a sissy. Cutler didn't like either one of those boys. And why should he? After all, he wasn't their father or anything.
   When Cutler entered the stables, Squire Meyer, who had been pacing nervously, quickly faced him, raising a large butcher knife. He lowered it when he saw who had entered.
   "Is Lord Chutney on his way here?" he asked Cutler.
   "Not that I know of," replied the butler.
   "Oh, well, then, I'll just go look for him, shall I?" said the squire absently as he left the stables in search of his master.
   Alone in the stables with only Love-in-Disguise and the Tupperware bowl of leeks (sugared, on toast), Cutler approached the horse, holding the bowl out in front of him.
   "Here's dinner, Love-in-Disguise," he cooed, presenting the bowl to the mare. A maniacal joy overtook him as he watched the horse devour the leeks (sugared, on toast) that he had grown to despise. After the bowl was licked clean, he went out to the garden to trample all the leeks growing there. Never again would he have to eat leeks (sugared, on toast) instead of his one pride and joy, his masterpiece, floop!
   High on the pleasure he got from destroying the offending vegetables and the knowledge that his despicable master would soon be up in flames, he was startled to hear a scream coming from the house. He ran back to the house, entering through the kitchen door and found Hermione and Lady Chutney standing over lifeless body of Lord Marston Chutney.
   "How did this happen?" he shrieked. "Who saw him last?"
   "I had just seen him in the hallway after I went to the facilities," said the maid, "and I told him that Squire Meyer wanted to see him in the stables. He must have been on his way there when... when..."
   Squire Meyer now entered the scene, trying to conceal a very large butcher knife down his pants and having a very hard time of it. He looked just as puzzled as everybody else.
   "Wh-wh-what?" he stuttered as he joined the others around the body, wincing as he tried to walk with a butcher knife stuck halfway down his pants. It was a valiant effort.
   Everyone was speechless.
   Finally, the two boys, Cheltham, rubbing his head from having spent another unsuccessful day trying to stand on it, and Wallaby, with his finger marking his place in his book, walked into the kitchen.
   "Is Dad all right?" Cheltham asked when he saw his father on the floor.
   "No, you dip-stick, he's dead," said his cousin, who was smart enough to see that. "So, which one of you got him?" he asked, turning to the rest of the household- Squire Meyer with his clean and not-at-all bloodstained butcher knife, which he had finally taken out of his pants, to the relief of everyone in the room; Cutler, with his still complete and not-at-all singed book of matches; Hermione, with her empty bottle of rat poison; and Lady Chutney, who was kicking herself for not having procured a murder weapon like all the others had.
   "He must have eaten the leeks, (poisoned, on toast)," said Hermione, seeing that the tureen was empty.
   "No, he didn't," said Cutler, "because I took the leeks, and- did you say 'poisoned'?!"
   Hermione nodded, and Cutler rushed out the door and toward the stables. Everyone else followed, except Lord Chutney, of course, because he was dead.
   And so was Love-in-Disguise, as it turned out. Did you know that rat poison can kill a horse?

[Sandra]

Epilogue

   Not that anyone cared, so overcome with grief were they all at the loss of such a fine mare as Love-in-Disguise, not to mention all of Hermione's prize-winning leeks, but, as Cheltham reported later, he had seen his father walk into the kitchen and trip and hit his head on the floor because his shoelace was untied. He saw this, he said, through the kitchen window while he was standing on his head, successfully, for the very first time in his eighteen year life. Wallaby had missed it because he had been reading, but congratulated his cousin nonetheless.
   Now that Lord Chutney was dead, the others were all free to do whatever they wanted. Lady Chutney became a balloon animal artist and made balloons into walruses and barn owls all day and was extremely happy.
   Hermione went to Las Vegas, where Philippa Willoughby got her a job as the world's first white female Eddie Murphy impersonator. She played Bingo on her days off because she had never really gotten over her addiction.
   Cutler, the butler, made floop all day long and delivered it to the group home down the street as court-ordered community service for an incident involving a horse and a bowl of leeks, poisoned and sugared, on toast.
   Cheltham Chutney inherited Stoughington Manor, but said his cousin could have it because he didn't want it. All he wanted was to stand on his head all day. And that is exactly what he did.
   Wallaby Willoughby became lord of the manor, which pleased his father, Squire Meyer, to no end. He confessed to Wallaby that he was, in fact, his father, and the two of them ran things at Stoughington Manor quite nicely. They got a new horse and named her Leeks-Sugared-On-Toast. She was a good horse, but really couldn't compare to Love-in-Disguise, who really was such a loss.

[Tomovoz]

Wonderful work Sandra.  I hope your teachers appreciate you. Perhaps they are on the same medication.

[ozderek]

Wonderful work Sandra.  I hope your teachers appreciate you. Perhaps they are on the same medication.

speaking of medication Tomofoz .. the nurse asked me to check that you have taken yours today ...

.. remember, lights out at 7 !!!!

(nursing home rules)

 

[Tomovoz]

speaking of medication Tomofoz .. the nurse asked me to check that you have taken yours today ...

.. remember, lights out at 7 !!!!

(nursing home rules)

 

Were you Louise FLetcher in a previous life or just an assistant to Dr Phibes?

[ozderek]

Were you Louise FLetcher in a previous life or just an assistant to Dr Phibes?

Previous life?  Previous?

I AM LOUISE FLETCHER!!!!!

 

[TCB]

Were you Louise FLetcher in a previous life or just an assistant to Dr Phibes?

Okay, guys!  Which one is Bud and which one is Lou?

[/b]

[Sandra]

Thank you, Tom.

Good bye, everybody. I have a sudden craving for some leeks. Sugared, on toast.

[Tomovoz]

I shall not skip to my Lou then.

In fact To Lou's  I shall not treck at all.

I know real fear.

[Panni]

Well - I'm glad I came back for that! That was a real treat, DR Sandra! Wonderful. You are gloriously wacky. And that is one of the highest compliments that I can pay.
(PSYCHO made me afraid to shower. Your story had made me afraid to eat leeks. Is nothing sacred?)

[bk]

Back from the play, about which more later.

Sandra gets a haineshisway.com Gold Star.

[bk]

What have you all been doing this evening?

Did Ann catch up?

[Panni]

Writing.

[Panni]

And water polo.

[S. Woody White]

Der B and I are off early tomorrow, another ladsitting gig.  So I'm a big fat wussburger!  

The only part that bothers me is that work continues tomorrow on the lot they're clearing next door - and there's a big ol' tree that has to come down carefully, to make sure it doesn't come down on our house!  I'd rather be here this time.  Not that my pushing in the other direction would help much (it IS a BIG ol' tree).