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[bk]

I'm up, I'm up - eight-and-a-half hours of sleep.  Weird dreams.

[Laura]

Laura, how does your church find a new minister? I've been through various ways in different denominations. 

We fill out a congregational profile. Each person gets a questionnaire to fill out, and we all fill out something pretty inaccurate as to how we see our congregation. We name a search committee, and someone compiles all the individual questionnaires. This gets sent to the Big Cheese in Los Angeles. These are distributed to all the other Big Cheeses in the country.

Each minister who is looking for a new church fills out his profile, which he gives to his Big Cheese in whatever district he's in.

The ministers' Cheeses sends prospective profiles to other Cheeses in other districts, wherever he thinks the minister would be a match for a church. Then our guy looks through them and sends us any profiles he thinks would be a match for us.

Only then is our search committee allowed to speak with the prospective minister, usually to find out he has accepted an offer from another church. If he's still available, they have a few phone conversations, and then we invite the minister and family (on our dime) to fly out and visit for a weekend. At this point, we are not allowed to talk to any other prospective ministers.

If we are still interested, our search committee makes an offer to our Big Cheese, who relays the offer to the minister's Big Cheese. Negotiations continue through them. We make our offer on the phone with both Cheeses in attendance. Both Cheeses negotiate on behalf of the minister. The church is on its own and generally has to agree to whatever the others request.

If an agreement is made, the minister gives three-months' notice to his church that he's leaving. We pay his moving costs. And we pay his housing and utilities while he lives here, in addition to his salary.

The whole thing is ridiculous and can take over a year to complete.

[Laura]

We have gone through the process, met the prospective minister, who then decides he's not interested. So we have to wait for the Cheese to send another profile or two. Then we begin again.

There are always more churches looking for ministers than there are ministers looking for churches. So they get to choose the church. We really don't get the opportunity to choose.

[KevinH]

Good afternoon!

[Jane]

Yesterday the vet's office called to tell me about my cat Oliver.

I asked him to repeat what he said a couple of times which he did.

 

[Jane]

I then noticed that the call came from Missouri....and I told him I was in Indiana and didn't have a cat, but that I did have a parakeet named Barnum.

There was a silence and then a click.

I hope Oliver is okay.

I hope Oliver is okay but hanging up on you was rather rude.

[Laura]

Our current minister is retiring -- not leaving for another church. It is always disheartening to find out that the minister has been looking for another church while we think things are going ok. We never find out until he has accepted an offer.

[Jane]

We have gone through the process, met the prospective minister, who then decides he's not interested. So we have to wait for the Cheese to send another profile or two. Then we begin again.

There are always more churches looking for ministers than there are ministers looking for churches. So they get to choose the church. We really don't get the opportunity to choose.

Ouch.  Vibes that doesn't happen this time.

[Jane]

My Ashland hiking group was a church group.  I recall when their beloved minister retired she was gone before the completed process to replace her.  The process sounded a bit like yours does.

[Jane]

Our current minister is retiring -- not leaving for another church. It is always disheartening to find out that the minister has been looking for another church while we think things are going ok. We never find out until he has accepted an offer.

That would be.  Maybe some just get restless to see new places. 

[Jennifer]

If I have to ride in an elevator I wear a mask and do not touch the buttons.  I use a piece of paper or something I can trash.  Here is an interesting story of how one asymptomatic women eventually spread covid-19 to 70 people, beginning with one person in her building who touched the same elevator buttons.

I thought how they tracked the virus was interesting.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/asymptomatic-coronavirus-carrier-infected-apartment-142900157.html

This is very interesting.  I would not ride in an elevator right now. I would definitely take the stairs.  But if I had to I would not touch the buttons with my hands. And I would sanitize my hands after being in the elevator.

[John G.]

I would like to get my hair cut on the stage at Radio City - but I imagine the audience would be less interested in the act.

What we will and won't do for our art.

[John G.]

Laura, how does your church find a new minister? I've been through various ways in different denominations. 

We fill out a congregational profile. Each person gets a questionnaire to fill out, and we all fill out something pretty inaccurate as to how we see our congregation. We name a search committee, and someone compiles all the individual questionnaires. This gets sent to the Big Cheese in Los Angeles. These are distributed to all the other Big Cheeses in the country.

Each minister who is looking for a new church fills out his profile, which he gives to his Big Cheese in whatever district he's in.

The ministers' Cheeses sends prospective profiles to other Cheeses in other districts, wherever he thinks the minister would be a match for a church. Then our guy looks through them and sends us any profiles he thinks would be a match for us.

Only then is our search committee allowed to speak with the prospective minister, usually to find out he has accepted an offer from another church. If he's still available, they have a few phone conversations, and then we invite the minister and family (on our dime) to fly out and visit for a weekend. At this point, we are not allowed to talk to any other prospective ministers.

If we are still interested, our search committee makes an offer to our Big Cheese, who relays the offer to the minister's Big Cheese. Negotiations continue through them. We make our offer on the phone with both Cheeses in attendance. Both Cheeses negotiate on behalf of the minister. The church is on its own and generally has to agree to whatever the others request.

If an agreement is made, the minister gives three-months' notice to his church that he's leaving. We pay his moving costs. And we pay his housing and utilities while he lives here, in addition to his salary.

The whole thing is ridiculous and can take over a year to complete.

We went through something similar to that in our search for our current pastor. It took us a couple of years.

[John G.]

Our current minister is retiring -- not leaving for another church. It is always disheartening to find out that the minister has been looking for another church while we think things are going ok. We never find out until he has accepted an offer.

I think sometimes word gets out about that.

[Jane]

If I have to ride in an elevator I wear a mask and do not touch the buttons.  I use a piece of paper or something I can trash.  Here is an interesting story of how one asymptomatic women eventually spread covid-19 to 70 people, beginning with one person in her building who touched the same elevator buttons.

I thought how they tracked the virus was interesting.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/asymptomatic-coronavirus-carrier-infected-apartment-142900157.html

This is very interesting.  I would not ride in an elevator right now. I would definitely take the stairs.  But if I had to I would not touch the buttons with my hands. And I would sanitize my hands after being in the elevator.

I have had to ride elevators, of all places in medical buildings.  Otherwise I use the stairs.

[bk]

Back from Gelson's - no line, right in, but many people at the checkout counters with loaded carts because heaven knows these selfsame idiots didn't buy enough stuff on Friday and Saturday.

[John G.]

Watching a very weird movie called Walker. Ed Harris is pretty wonderful as the man who invaded Nicaragua in the 1850s. But the satire is presented in very Sam Peckinpah ways. Incredibly violent. I'll admit it was interesting to see people in 1850s garb riding in a carriage and reading Newsweek.

[ChasSmith]

My goodness, DR Laura. What a friend you have in Cheeses.

[ChasSmith]

Groaning is not allowed.

[John G.]

I think Rene Auberjonois loved doing Walker. He got to be in his Python movie. He hams it up hysterically.

[Jane]

Back from Gelson's - no line, right in, but many people at the checkout counters with loaded carts because heaven knows these selfsame idiots didn't buy enough stuff on Friday and Saturday.

Or they avoided the markets on Friday & Saturday and are now doing their shopping.

[George]

This is sad.  My barber of the past 30 years just called to tell me the barber shop at Radio City will not be reopening, and that he is retiring at 67.  I must find a new barber, so I will hopefully find one on the Upper West Side.

That's too bad, Larry.

[George]

One-thirty in the morning and some moron just set off fireworks that were so loud they rattled the house.  But I cannot tell where they're coming from, if I could I'd call the cops.

How rude!

[George]

This is sad.  My barber of the past 30 years just called to tell me the barber shop at Radio City will not be reopening, and that he is retiring at 67.  I must find a new barber, so I will hopefully find one on the Upper West Side.

Both my dentist and general doctor have told me recently that they are retiring.

My dentist retired a few years ago, but my dental hygienist stayed with the new owners, so I still go even though it's also moved.

[George]

Laura, how does your church find a new minister? I've been through various ways in different denominations. 

We fill out a congregational profile. Each person gets a questionnaire to fill out, and we all fill out something pretty inaccurate as to how we see our congregation. We name a search committee, and someone compiles all the individual questionnaires. This gets sent to the Big Cheese in Los Angeles. These are distributed to all the other Big Cheeses in the country.

Each minister who is looking for a new church fills out his profile, which he gives to his Big Cheese in whatever district he's in.

The ministers' Cheeses sends prospective profiles to other Cheeses in other districts, wherever he thinks the minister would be a match for a church. Then our guy looks through them and sends us any profiles he thinks would be a match for us.

Only then is our search committee allowed to speak with the prospective minister, usually to find out he has accepted an offer from another church. If he's still available, they have a few phone conversations, and then we invite the minister and family (on our dime) to fly out and visit for a weekend. At this point, we are not allowed to talk to any other prospective ministers.

If we are still interested, our search committee makes an offer to our Big Cheese, who relays the offer to the minister's Big Cheese. Negotiations continue through them. We make our offer on the phone with both Cheeses in attendance. Both Cheeses negotiate on behalf of the minister. The church is on its own and generally has to agree to whatever the others request.

If an agreement is made, the minister gives three-months' notice to his church that he's leaving. We pay his moving costs. And we pay his housing and utilities while he lives here, in addition to his salary.

The whole thing is ridiculous and can take over a year to complete.

We have gone through the process, met the prospective minister, who then decides he's not interested. So we have to wait for the Cheese to send another profile or two. Then we begin again.

There are always more churches looking for ministers than there are ministers looking for churches. So they get to choose the church. We really don't get the opportunity to choose.

Wow!  What a process! 

[George]

My goodness, DR Laura. What a friend you have in Cheeses.

[George]

Hi, Jane.

[Jane]

Hi George.

[bk]

Cube steak was tasty and so was the half a baked potato with sour cream, chives, and butter.  Very full, but adding up the calories it's a very reasonable meal, actually.  And no  more food for the day. 

[bk]

Otherwise, just been relaxing and doing a little bit of Kritzerland show work, and just set the last of the guest stars for August.  Perhaps I'll reveal them in the notes.