I lost my mom and my uncle within 3 weeks of each other in March/April.
Still in shock.
I never want to bring down the mood here on HHW.
So, I try to post when I’m feeling better.
But I’m not feeling better.
Iris: I have a cousin named Debra. She is very dear to me. In the space of 13 months, she lost her mother, her father and her husband.
Even though she has two older brothers, she was the executor of all the estates and put aside her grief to resolve all the issues around those estates and insured fair equity in distribution of inheritance.
She is very strong, but I worry about her. I fear there will be a breakdown, of sorts, in her near future. She does not go out and about unless with her children. She says she isn't ready for people to tell her how sorry they are because all the feelings come back.
Her mom and dad were my aunt and uncle who lived across the street. After my mom died in 2018, I fulfilled my promise to her that I would help my aunt and uncle. I took my aunt to all her appointments, to the grocery story, etc. My uncle needed little care, but I later learned that my aunt, who ought to have had daily aid herself, was breaking her back caring for him.
All of this weighs on me, but it's so much worse for Debra.
You take all the time you need. No one has a formula about how much time it will take and how much grief anyone will feel.
