Caleb Carr's final book My Beloved Monster is divided like Gaul into three parts. Last night I finished part two. The penultimate chapter to part two is an account of a cat - Chimene - he had been given as a kitten just before he entered high school. Chimene's tale is tied in to the previous chapter's account of Masha's being attack by something because of parallels to Chimene's existence approximately forty years before.
When I was fourteen, I was given for Christmas a six-week-old Siamese kitten I named Ming. The parallels between Carr and Chimene and me and Ming were too similar, and by the time I reached his account of Chimene's betrayal and end when Carr was in his mid- to late-20s, I was weeping like a wild thing and wailing like a banshee. I will not tell of Chimene's history, but I will admit that by the time I was in my late 20s, still living in Ohio with mom and dad, completely unsure of myself or where I was going, I took Ming for granted. She was the house cat I loved when I was home but a non-entity when I was away or dealing with my own issues. One day, God knows why, Ming - then around sixteen - attacked the leg of one of my foolish mother's more foolish friends. There was a torn calf, blood on the floor, and the next day my mother took Ming to the vet and had her euthanized. At the time, I thought nothing of it, but the older I've become, my guilt over that beloved cat's murder and my betrayal in letting it happen gnaws at me.
