Just had a long chat with my muse Margaret re the new tome. Very similar reaction to one of my short stories. She LOVES the idea of the book, but doesn't like the tone of it. As she explained and I probed I began to see what she was talking about, and I began to see that she was, as usual, quite correct in her comments. As I've said, getting the tone and style right is very difficult at times - I went a certain way, especially in chapter one, and I can see now it isn't the right way. Part of that has to do with the fact that the book started out as one thing and morphed into another. She did like random scenes and some of the dialogue. So, I'm going back to chapter one and completely redoing it, then if I get that right, it will be fairly easy to adjust from there, because she likes the plot and she likes a device I use. The big work is chapter one, the set up to everything. I'm also changing what the protagonist wants to do with her life - that will really help, because I was already bored of what I chose. I came up with the new thing and it will work much better, not only for her, but for those around her.
It's wonderful to have a muse who "gets" what you do and who can help bring things into focus, especially at this early stage. So, before I continue on (I'm to page thirty-five now), I'll be rewriting and adjusting the first thirty pages.
Shortly I shall be on my way to LACC for this evening's performance and my meeting Cillaliz.