So, on our cell phone abstinance day, here is my cell phone story du jour:
I'm on Laurel Canyon behind some absolute idiot, driving two miles an hour. She finally turns right onto Ventura and I can see she's got that assinine phone to her ear, yakking away. I, too, turn right. She turns wide, going into the left lane without even looking behind her to see if anyone is there. I turn right, as one is supposed to, into the right hand lane, but she's already veering back into that lane, cutting me off. I gave her the horn, quite loudly, and she went back into her own lane. I then pull up next to her and this bitch is screaming at me and giving me the finger. In the hand that's giving me the finger, of course, is the cell phone. I rolled down my window and said at the top of my lungs, "Listen, you wazoo, don't give ME the finger because you're a cretin on a cell phone and you don't look where you're going!" She continued to give me the finger while her SUV (natch, Gloria, natch) veered from lane to lane. I noticed the side of her car had a huge dent - gee, I wonder why. I then suggested she pull over so we could continue our discussion, but she chose to not take me up on my offer. As soon as she sped away, she was right back on the phone.