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Author Topic: NOTHING  (Read 32483 times)

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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #60 on: October 14, 2006, 11:33:01 AM »

Note to George, who posted last night:

Quote
The only thing I'm really worried about is my cat, Ebonie.  She's not one to run away, she usually hides under my bed, but it's a pretty tramatic event to move.

I trust the dear has a collar and tag with your phone number. Cats are notorious territorial (unlike dogs who are family (pack) oriented. Cats who have never roamed before will often "disappear" when rlocated.

der Brucer
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George

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #61 on: October 14, 2006, 11:33:30 AM »

And now...to the condo!  Later!
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #62 on: October 14, 2006, 11:36:02 AM »

I noticed this note on "some" web site:

Quote
...the Willow Pond Kitchen, a beloved historic restaurant in Concord, Massachusetts, that was torn down by the National Park Service to make room for a historical marker

One presumes the marker will commemorate the location of the Historic Willow Pond Kitchen.

Our government at work!

der Brucer
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #63 on: October 14, 2006, 11:38:27 AM »

CNN adopts new Labeling Policy:



der Brucer

At least they kept Party Affiliation a secret
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #64 on: October 14, 2006, 11:40:16 AM »

I'd never heard of either word, "Lexiphanic" or "Interlard."

Interlard probably has something to do with Liposuction ::)

der Brucer
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #65 on: October 14, 2006, 11:45:35 AM »

But it involves a pig with a wooden leg.


FOR SALE: Piano by lady with a broken leg.

der Brucer
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Edisaurus

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #66 on: October 14, 2006, 11:45:40 AM »

I noticed this note on "some" web site:One presumes the marker will commemorate the location of the Historic Willow Pond Kitchen.

Unfortunately, no. But the WPK is lovingly described in poem here:
http://www.concordma.com/magazine/spring06/willowpond.html

A tragic loss as we continue to erase all regional character from places that were rich with it.
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Edisaurus

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #67 on: October 14, 2006, 11:55:09 AM »

I can honestly say that I've never heard a joke that involves a pig with a wooden leg.

Well, if you do a search on google for "pig with a wooden leg joke" you will get 483,000 results. I'm starting to think it's like a clean version of "The Aristocats", where everyone has their own version of the joke. I just grabbed  a short version...they all end with basically the same punch line. Kind of a "shaggy pig story".

The Joke:

Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he asked, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

"Well, Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"

"And the boar tore up his leg?"

"No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"

"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"

"No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."

"And that was when he hurt his leg?"

"Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."

"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"

"Well", the farmer tells him, "A good pig like that, you don't want to eat him all at once!"
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #68 on: October 14, 2006, 11:57:16 AM »

We had a variation of the Sam and Janet joke as told by a person who can't tell jokes.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
Sam Evening and his wife Janet.

Which reminds me of a tale (and what doesn't):

At a coffee break one day, one of the guys told this one:

"Question:How do you tell and a young man from an old man in the dark? Answer: It's hard!"

That day at a work luncheon, the Boss's secretary said, "I heard a cute Joke: "How do you tell a young man from an old man in the dark?....It's difficult!" Well, those of us who had been at the coffee break started howling with laughter. The boss, who had not been at the break, looked stoically at his secretary and said "I don't get it". The secretary, looking at the howling crowd,  answered, "Well, they all think it's funny".

der Brucer



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elmore3003

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #69 on: October 14, 2006, 11:57:16 AM »

FOR SALE: Piano by lady with a broken leg.

der Brucer

When I was in grad school, there was a grad assistant with piano legs who taught basic speech.  

The lady director of several lousy revivals of excellent musicals was walking her pet pig on a leash.  As they walked by a homeless man, he asked "Get that at the Fair?" and the pig said "Yes."
« Last Edit: October 14, 2006, 11:57:50 AM by elmore3003 »
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #70 on: October 14, 2006, 12:00:54 PM »

We can tell that Edisaurus has read BK's new book. That now makes at least three of us. BK will be pleased.

DRs who have problems with dreams should probably skip the first story!

der Brucer
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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #71 on: October 14, 2006, 12:06:56 PM »

He's like the scout ant who goes out on shoots and returns with jokes, film and restaurant recommendations and gossip.

Be thankful they're the only "social" things he brings back from business trips :-X

der Brucer
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #72 on: October 14, 2006, 12:28:17 PM »

Fait accompli! Now may I play my cross-hands piece?

Not until you take the "k" out of reknown and replace the double quotes with an apostrophe in Nicholson Baker"s

der Brucer (editing the editor is such a thrill)
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #73 on: October 14, 2006, 12:32:22 PM »

Note for Larry Moore:

I think I've found the perfect holiday gift for MBarnum

 Freedom Is Not Free Calendar


der Brucer

MARCH

JUNE


der Brucer
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DakotaCelt

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #74 on: October 14, 2006, 12:39:09 PM »

Speaking of cats, something awful happened at work yesterday. Some woman released her cat on the property at the post house where I usually work. A friend who works there who is a major cat lover caught her right after she had done this and confronted her. The cat abandoner said she "didn't realize that this property belonged to anyone"--like what she was doing would have been OK if it wasn't owned! This cat had been through a fight and had a lot of shaved spots where it had been stitched up and the woman's explanation was that she "couldn't afford" the cat anymore. My friend asked her why she didn't take it to a shelter and she said that a shelter would kill the cat! (Never mind that there are several no-kill shelters in town---that's where I got my two black and whites.)

There are already 3 feral cats that we take care of at this place, they are all fixed and we feed them. So we can't even put food out for "Stitch" because the other cats wouldn't let her near it and might attack her. She might even have feline hepatitis or something else she could give the post house cats...they're disease free and get vaccinations.

When I got to work people were down around the creek trying to catch the little black cat but the terrain was so steep that it was hard to move around much less catch a cat. And now it's very cold  here at night, so this woman who wanted to "save" the cat by releasing it probably gave her a death sentence. Argh. OK...I beat BK to the rant but I had to vent to the cat lovers here!

I could not agree with you more with your comments Edi. During the spring after college kids move out they tend to abandon their pets after 9 months of apartment living if they are not going to remain in the area. It is amazing! The library attracts an incredible number of strays in the spring. We rescue at least 8 to 10 cats a year and several dogs and one snake. They did not want their boa constrictor anymore and they threw it out.
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JoseSPiano

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #75 on: October 14, 2006, 12:50:57 PM »

Good Afternoon!

I'm back on land...

So...

Disembarking from the ship this morning was easy.  The lines at the airport weren't too bad.  The flight back was OK - it got a bit rough as we were coming in for the landing at DCA.  My car started up fine, and I've already unpacked my bags.

And now...  Time to catch up on...  both here on HHW and elsewhere... So...

Laters...
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JoseSPiano

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #76 on: October 14, 2006, 12:56:36 PM »

OH!!!

"Lost Camera Vibes" - or maybe that should be "Found Camera Vibes" - would be much appreciated.  I somehow lost track of my digital camera last night between the final two functions.  I thought I had left it on the piano... Then I thought I had left it on the bar... Hmm... Maybe I left it in the internet cafe... Or...  In any case...  I lost my camera.  Which also means I lost the pictures I took during my trip.  However, since everyone else in my party was taking pics... and since I brought my card reader so that they could burn CDs of their pics on board... I do pics to be posted (eventually).  But I really would like to have my camera back.  I'm hoping it gets turned into the Purser's Desk over the next few days...  So...

OK... I'm rambling...

*I did have a WONDERFUL time, however.  So wonderful, in fact, that the loss of my camera has been more of an inconvenience than anything else.

OK.. Once again, back to real life for a bit...

Laters...
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Edisaurus

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #77 on: October 14, 2006, 12:57:14 PM »

During the spring after college kids move out they tend to abandon their pets after 9 months of apartment living if they are not going to remain in the area. It is amazing!

My brother lives in a touristy area in NC where a lot of people go for the summer. When vacation is over, a lot of them just leave their dogs! He has 6 dogs, which were all abandoned this way. That's how we ended up with our third cat. She was a stray that adopted him, but wouldn't stand a chance with the 6 dogs, so we took her on. (I would have been happy just sticking to 2, but I felt somehow obligated to take her.)

People who treat their pets this way should not be allowed to breed, IMHO.
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Edisaurus

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #78 on: October 14, 2006, 01:05:54 PM »

Not until you take the "k" out of reknown and replace the double quotes with an apostrophe in Nicholson Baker"s

Oh no! Well, it doesn't surprise me. I'm a terrible typist and my mother's advice was not to become a good typist because then I might get stuck in a job that consisted solely of typing. So I guess for once, I followed her advice.

As for reknown... I knew of Bruce a few decades ago with TFNM and in 2006 he is now re-known to me!  ;)

(I couldn't figure out how to edit my review once I posted it. If anyone knows how, please let me know!)
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Edisaurus

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #79 on: October 14, 2006, 01:12:11 PM »

Be thankful they're the only "social" things he brings back from business trips :-X

'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease!

(Thank you, Mr. Sondheim)
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George

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #80 on: October 14, 2006, 01:19:38 PM »

Well, if you do a search on google for "pig with a wooden leg joke" you will get 483,000 results. I'm starting to think it's like a clean version of "The Aristocats", where everyone has their own version of the joke. I just grabbed  a short version...they all end with basically the same punch line. Kind of a "shaggy pig story".

The Joke: ....

That's pretty funny! ;)
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #81 on: October 14, 2006, 01:32:40 PM »

BEEN THERE. DONE THAT!

Notes on the East Side aircraft accident:

I was in the front seat piloting a similar single engine plane (the instructor was in the rear seat). The instructor was unhappy with my left turns which were nice, easy, sweeping arcs."No, dammit, you need to turn the plane tighter, we don’t own all the sky!". So I tried again, a little tighter. "Still too wide, he yelled. Don't be such a wimp! Throw that stick over hard. You can't break the plane!" (see note)

Well, nobody calls me a wimp! So hard over I pulled the stick, and started into a really tight turn. Suddenly we started rolling over as a voice from the rear kept muttering "get your nose up, get your nose up!" Suddenly the horizon indicator was turning in circles and all I could see was sky, grass, sky, grass, sky, grass - over and over. The speed indicator was climbing, the altimeter dropping, and everything on both sides was getting grayer and greyer…I discovered the Graveyard Spin!

(Because the nose had fallen off, the control surface on the wings started having a different effect - instead of turning the plane to the left, they were just tightening the now nose-down spiral. Since we were headed straight down, my attempts to recover by pulling back on the stick just made matters worse - we didn't pull up, we just spun faster! Finally a voice from the rear said -
"Let Go, I've Got It, Let Go, I've Got It." So, I let go - I'm not that possessive. Slowly the pilot recovered from the spin, which left us just diving straight down, and then tried to regain altitude. We had started at 1800 feet - we leveled off at a bit over 100 feet (almost jumping distance.) We had attained a downward motion of over 240kts (max speed for the plane is supposed to be 180 knots). We had pulled over 3gs - max allowed stress on the plane was 2.4. (Inspection on landing indicated that almost all of the rivets holding the skin on the plane had popped and the plane was a total loss.)

The delay in recovering from this spin is because my sudden turn and precipitous nose-down caused rapid acceleration and the pilot had momentarily blacked out in the rear seat (my high levels of adrenalin kept me conscious).

Now our friends going down the East river had to make a sharp turn to the left to return the way they had come; the inexperienced pilot might not have know the tricks of recovering from the spin, and the building simply got in the way (an observer noted that the plane seemed to be doing acrobatics), and the plane did not hit nose first, but rather smacked into the wall belly-first.

der Brucer

Note: Apparently the pilot had not heard about my previous days experience which involved totaling-out a T28 by crashing into an aircraft carrier - but that's another story.)
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DERBRUCER

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #82 on: October 14, 2006, 01:35:14 PM »


People who treat their pets this way should not be allowed to breed, IMHO.

"breed" - the people or the pets?

I vote for both.

der Brucer
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TCB

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #83 on: October 14, 2006, 01:53:08 PM »

Well, I'm about to fall asleep. 8) I'm going to bed.  Good night, all!  And I'm also curious to see how long cable (TV and Internet) lasts here before it's turned off. ::) If it's still on in the morning (or even later), I shouldn't be paying for it.  I called and told Comcast that I'm moving.  And since I really am, I really don't need it in two houses, and I certainly don't want to pay for it. ;)


Comcast will usually let the service overlap with no extra charge to you, especially if you are moving on a weekend.  They may even wait until Monday morning to turn off the old service.
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TCB

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #84 on: October 14, 2006, 02:00:36 PM »

I will probably save MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA to watch tonight. Best friend John has suggested we might have a movie night at his house tonight, and if that happens, then MEMOIRS will have to wait for another day.

Today, with no TV shows on the DVR, I'll go back to GREY'S ANATOMY's first season disc 2 and watch some more episodes.

There is also THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN to watch.


Hmm, reminds me of my ex.
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MBarnum

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #85 on: October 14, 2006, 02:02:19 PM »

BK, am very pleased to hear that you enjoyed STORM WARNING...as JRand said, we both love it! In fact I can still remember watching it as a small child...I was home sick...third grade...thought it was going to be a musical comedy...then wham! I still watched it... and loved it!
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elmore3003

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #86 on: October 14, 2006, 02:03:35 PM »

Note for Larry Moore:

I think I've found the perfect holiday gift for MBarnum

der Brucer


I think they're too young for Pretty Boy Barnum!

Edi, thanks for the wooden leg joke!
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TCB

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #87 on: October 14, 2006, 02:11:05 PM »

Heigh Ho, the glamorous life - DH Richard and I are off to Sam's Club, where we must stock up on household paper goods and such.  Back later, in time for the 8pm EDT Michigan/Penn State kick-off!

Bye for now.

That is strange!  The Michigan/Penn State game is on at 5pm here.  Should I e-mail you and tell you who wins?
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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #88 on: October 14, 2006, 02:11:32 PM »

I took a nap and am still sleepy...but now must get to my Bollywood movie of the weekend:

TARZAN COMES TO DELHI (1965) starring Dara Singh, Mumtaz, Helen, and Bhaghwan.



Hmmmm...Tarzan doesn't seem quite as, shall we say, well fed, in the actual movie.
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elmore3003

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Re:NOTHING
« Reply #89 on: October 14, 2006, 02:15:28 PM »

I took a nap and am still sleepy...but now must get to my Bollywood movie of the weekend:

TARZAN COMES TO DELHI (1965) starring Dara Singh, Mumtaz, Helen, and Bhaghwan.



Hmmmm...Tarzan doesn't seem quite as, shall we say, well fed, in the actual movie.

Does this Tarzan have a wooden leg?  He should!
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