Beatrice Arthur
memorable lines
Dorothy: Rose, I know this is a long shot, but did you take much acid during the sixties?
Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure you're pregnant?
Blanche: I just did a home pregnancy test - it's right here.
Rose: It looks like a perfume sample.
Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose.
Rose and Dorothy confront Blanche about sleeping with Gil Kessler, Rose says to Blanche regarding the newspaper article]
Rose: Then why does it say the explosion was so great it shattered windows in a building 10 blocks away?
Dorothy: [Holding her head] Rose, that was an article about an earthquake in GUATAMALA.
Dorothy: [to Sophia] Get back here, you deceitful little Sicilian gekko!
Dorothy: It's wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine.
Dorothy: Blanche, have you heard of the latest campaigns? "Join the navy, see the world... sleep with Blanche Devereaux"? "Join the army, be all you can be... sleep with Blanche Devereaux"?
[getting angry]
Dorothy: "The marines are looking for a few good men who have *not* slept with Blanche Devereaux"!
Walter Findlay: Maude, did you wreck the car again?
Maude Findlay: Did you hear that, everybody? DID YOU HEAR THAT? Not "Maude, are you sick?" Or "Maude, are you unhappy?" Or even, "Maude, are you pregnant?" No, "Maude, did you wreck the car again?"
Walter Findlay: You're right, darling. You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. So tell me, are you sick?
Maude Findlay: No.
Walter Findlay: Are you unhappy?
Maude Findlay: No.
Walter Findlay: Are you pregnant?
Maude Findlay: Yes.
Maude Findlay: [At a funeral] I am not having a good time here.
Maude Findlay: [referring to Carol's ample bosom] To think I bought you your first training bra. Look how you've broken training.
Walter Findlay: [arguing with Maude because she agrees the housekeeper should keep her maiden name after she's married] Well, if you feel that way, why didn't you keep your maiden name when we got married?
Maude Findlay: Because by the time we got married I couldn't remember it!