QUIETUS is an honest to goodness name for an over the counter drug to battle tinnitus.
Better for tinnitus than flatulence.
A little old lady goes to her doctor's office. "Doctor, " she says, "I have a very strange problem with gas. I'm farting all the time! But the odd thing is that my farts are silent and they don't smell at all. In fact, I've farted about ten times since I've been sitting here talking to you. But you wouldn't know it, because they made no sound and there's no smell to them."
The doctor thought for a moment then began to scribble on his prescription pad. "Have this filled out at your pharmacy and take two tablets a day. Then I want to see you again next week."
The little old lady strictly followed the doctor's orders and, the following week, was once again sitting in his examination room.
"Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills but now my farts smell something awful! They are still silent but--Oh, my!--they now smell terrible!"
And the doctor said, "Very good! We fixed your sense of smell. Now we have to do something about your hearing..."
