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Author Topic: SPRUNG  (Read 12009 times)

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Matt H.

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #30 on: March 15, 2010, 06:52:01 AM »

Does this take us to Page Two?
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Matt H.

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #31 on: March 15, 2010, 06:52:16 AM »

It does!!

Page Two Dance!!!
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Matt H.

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #32 on: March 15, 2010, 06:52:33 AM »

I'm very lonely, Abigail. . . .
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Ginny

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #33 on: March 15, 2010, 06:53:22 AM »

Monday morning greetings!  Second week of being on call for jury duty - only 4 more bullets to dodge.  Today I have to go to the post office to track down a package (very small) that they say they tried to deliver at exactly the time Richard was there retrieving the mail we'd had held while we were in KY.
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Matt H.

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #34 on: March 15, 2010, 07:15:05 AM »

I haven't heard any UPS deliveries this morning (not expecting the TOY STORY Blu-rays until tomorrow as per the UPS delivery e-mail notice), so looks like I'll be finishing up the Costa box as expected. Good news abounds!
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Matt H.

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #35 on: March 15, 2010, 07:15:31 AM »

Now I'm heading downstairs to get cleaned up for lunch out today with best friend John.

WBBL.
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John G.

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #36 on: March 15, 2010, 07:42:55 AM »

I haven't heard any UPS deliveries this morning (not expecting the TOY STORY Blu-rays until tomorrow as per the UPS delivery e-mail notice), so looks like I'll be finishing up the Costa box as expected. Good news abounds!

I love the Portuguese, but their cinema, or at least the Costa set, sounds like something to avoid.

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“Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.”
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FJL

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #37 on: March 15, 2010, 07:50:50 AM »

Nurse:  "Doctor, the Invisible Man is here for his check-up."

Doctor:  "Tell him I can't see him."
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FJL

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #38 on: March 15, 2010, 07:53:07 AM »

Patient on phone:  "Doctor, I've been walking ten miles a day like you told me to last week."

Doctor:  "I'm proud of you.  So what's the problem?"

Patient:  "I'm seventy miles from home."
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FJL

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #39 on: March 15, 2010, 07:53:47 AM »

I went on a diet a week ago.  So far i've lost seven days.
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JMK

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #40 on: March 15, 2010, 07:56:52 AM »

Words of wisdom from Gabe department:

He's writing a report about my Dad.  The opening paragraph, in part: "Meyer Kauffman persevered through all of the things life threw at him.  He went through WWII, got shot twice and survived.  He had three kids and survived."  :)
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Charles Pogue

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #41 on: March 15, 2010, 08:13:39 AM »

Monday.....

I am still not sure that I want to see PRECIOUS BASED ON THE NOVEL PUSH BY SAPPHIRE.

I don't know if I would want to see it a second time, but it is really a terrific picture.

I agree with Druxy's assessment.
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Charles Pogue

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #42 on: March 15, 2010, 08:17:16 AM »

Shakespeare was walking the streets of London when he momentarily caught his cloak on a passing peddlar's cart.  He was worried he might have snagged a hole in it.  He encountered Ben Jonson at that moment and asked his fellow playwright to check  the back of his cloak and see if it had any tears.  Jonson inspected the cloak and replied, "No holes, Bard."
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Jennifer

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #43 on: March 15, 2010, 08:27:29 AM »

In happier film news, if y'all visit Blu-ray.com's News section, there's a link to a $10 off coupon on tomorrow's release of THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG.  That means you will probably be able to get the Blu-ray combo pack for just a little more than $10 at most major retailers.

Here the coupon for $10 is only good on the combo pack (that i think goes for $32Cdn). But the website was something like princessandthefrogcoupon.com.

Here the regular dvd is going for $18.99. But at Best Buy they are giving a really cute looking princess and the frog tote with it.
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Jrand73

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #44 on: March 15, 2010, 08:27:53 AM »

Loving the jokes today!
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Jrand73

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #45 on: March 15, 2010, 08:28:23 AM »

Sounds like you're raising a 21st century Robert Benchley there, DR JMK.
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Jennifer

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #46 on: March 15, 2010, 08:29:12 AM »

I'm sure I'll catch up with PRECIOUS when it comes on one of the paycable channels. I can wait until then. I have no burning desire to see it.

I can't decide if i want to see this or not. I requested it at the library. So if they decide to order it then i guess i will see it. It doesn't seem like it would be my kind of movie. But sometimes if a movie is really well done then it can appeal to me.
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Jennifer

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #47 on: March 15, 2010, 08:29:53 AM »

They intentionally turned off the power in my area early this morning. :(
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Jrand73

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #48 on: March 15, 2010, 08:30:20 AM »

A priest, a Boy Scout, and the World's Smartest Man are on an airplane. 
Pilot rushes back says: "We're going to crash. We only have three parachutes, I'm taking one. Goodbye." He jumps out.

World's smartest man says: "The world needs me, there's no question." Grabs a parachute and jumps out.

Priest says: "You are young....I have lived my life, son. Take the last parachute."

Boy Scout says: "Don't worry, Father. We both have a parachute. The World's Smartest Man just jumped out with my backpack."
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John G.

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #49 on: March 15, 2010, 09:23:00 AM »

I'm with DR Matt H. If you ask me to tell a joke, my brain clears of every joke I've ever heard. If I remember one over the course of the day, I'll post it.
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bk

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #50 on: March 15, 2010, 09:28:02 AM »

Good morning, good day, how are you this beautiful day?  I am inundated with CD boxes because out of the blue The Man Who Would Be King has arrived.  Guess that's what I'm doing today.  I've texted Cason to see if he can help - if he can't, then I'll do all the orders except overseas and the big store orders.
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MBarnum

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #51 on: March 15, 2010, 09:32:48 AM »

Just remember that there is no groaning allowed.

Laughing, on the other hand...
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Jrand73

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #52 on: March 15, 2010, 09:43:49 AM »

Car full of senior citizens driving down the street.

Driver runs a stop sign.  Passenger in front seat looks at him, but doesn't say anything.  Driver runs another stop sign.  Passenger says: "Martin, you just ran a stop sign."

Driver Martin says....."Oh my God, am I driving?"
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Jrand73

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #53 on: March 15, 2010, 09:45:35 AM »

Two drunk guys walking on the railroad tracks.

First drunk: Where are we?

Second drunk:  I don't know, but if we ever get to the second floor, I'm gonna ask someone."
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Ron Pulliam

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #54 on: March 15, 2010, 09:46:54 AM »

I'm sorry, but I have no choice but to offer this universal

G R O A N

on behalf of everyone who may get comfort in the
knowledge that someone else has done it for them.

(Inspired by DR CPogue's "no holes, Bard" punch line which,
I'm certain,  will be surpassed by day's end.)
« Last Edit: March 15, 2010, 09:54:52 AM by Ron Pulliam »
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Ron Pulliam

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #55 on: March 15, 2010, 09:47:21 AM »

They intentionally turned off the power in my area early this morning. :(


Was it to spite you?
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Ron Pulliam

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #56 on: March 15, 2010, 09:49:17 AM »

I think we need a re-do of March 14th.   


That's where I lost an hour, and I've just got to get it back.
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Ron Pulliam

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #57 on: March 15, 2010, 09:51:48 AM »

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "

And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
« Last Edit: March 15, 2010, 09:55:35 AM by Ron Pulliam »
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Dan (the Man)

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #58 on: March 15, 2010, 10:00:35 AM »

Here's one that I'm sure y'all heard before in one form or another:

So when Gower Champion died, he found himself at the Pearly Gates and greeted by St. Peter.

"Mr. Champion, welcome to Heaven!" said St. Peter excitedly.  "God has been a longtime fan of your work!  In fact, now that you're here, He wants to produce His first musical and He wants you to direct it!"

Gower Champion shook his head and said "Well, I'm very honored, but I've just come off mounting the work of my career and I'm very tired.  I really would like to just sit back and enjoy my eternal rest."

"But, Gower," exclaimed St. Peter, "think of the people you have to work with here!  You can have Michaelangelo do your sets and Coco Channel your costumes!"

Again Gower Champion shook his head no.  "That sounds very interesting, but I really don't have it in me right now..."

St. Peter would not take no for an answer.  "But just think of your choice of composers!  George Gershwin! Oscar Hammerstein!  Maybe even Mozart!  And Gower--how about a book from William Shakespeare?"

Gower smiled at this. "Wow!  That would be quite a creative team there.  But, please, I just need to--"

"Gower, Gower, Gower--think of the stars at your disposal!  Gertrude Lawrence! Zero Mostel! Bill “Bojangles” Robinson!" 

Now a fire lit in Gower Champion's eyes as the possibilities began to flood his brain.  The opportunity to work with some of the greatest performers of all time was too great to pass up.

"That would be wonderful!"  said Gower.  "Okay, I'll do it!  When does God want to start?"

St. Peter replied "Right away!  There's just one thing though... God has this girlfriend..."
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Dan (the Man)

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Re: SPRUNG
« Reply #59 on: March 15, 2010, 10:00:49 AM »

I like long jokes.
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