Santino Fontana, Santino Fontana...
Sorry; I just like saying his name.
We love Patti in all respects, so only do fun parodies of her.
But did I ever foist on castrecl the Santino-and-Laura Suite (Fontana and Osnes, that is)
Tune of Stepsister’s Lament (sung by random gay Santino fan or chorus member)
Why can’t Santino play a prince who’ll be / The guy’s and not the lady’s
Why can’t that Beane guy let the children see / The prince end up with me
(bridge)
Sure, it’s not in the tradition / Of the show that they’ve all seen
But was there a prohibition / Placed on Douglas Carter Beane
Why would that Beane guy make the prince prefer / A girl like Cinderella
Why couldn’t Douglas make his passion stir / For someone, well, like me
What’s the matter with a man? (3x)
(Tune of It’s Possible)
It’s plausible, for a great star like Laura to win raves for Cinderella
It’s plausible, for her mate with an aura like Santino’s as her fella -
To also get appropriate recognition, their talent’s getting suitable exhibition
It’s plausible
For the Great White Way is loaded with roles
That on the surface seem full of holes
But top-notch actors grab them anyway
And not just ‘cause they have to eat
And if all works out, they’ll compete
It’s plausible – Tony noms may come someday