ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS
[size=20]CAROUSEL![/size]
Fade in. Julie Jordan (Grace Kelly) and Carrie Pipperidge (Kim Novak, hair dyed mousy brown to contrast with Grace) are at a carnival, discussing Carrie's boyfriend, Enoch Snow (Jimmy Stewart). They are distracted when a tennis player runs away from the carousel just before it self destructs. The barker for the carousel, Billy Bigelow (Cary Grant) tells the carousel's owner, Mrs. Mullin (Ingrid Bergman) that since it can't be repaired until morning he's taking the night off. Mrs. Mullin spots what has caught his attention, however, and jealously tells him that if he goes off with one of the girls he can just not come back.
So of course Billy suavely sweeps Julie off her feet and doesn't come back. Fireworks go off in the sky.
Some time later, Billy and Julie have married, and are living in a seaside village close to Nettie Fowler (Tippi Hedren), who has a wonderful disposition but can't seem to keep the seagulls away from her chowder cafeteria. Carrie and Mr. Snow are close by, too, but so is Jigger (Martin Balsam), an old partner of Billy's who has heard that Julie has inherited a fortune but doesn't know it yet. Jigger suggests to Billy that he do away with Julie and that they split the inheritance; Billy, repulsed, pushes Jigger down a staircase, but the idea has been planted.
One night, after a real nice clambake, Billy takes Julie a glass of milk as she waits for him in bed. Before she can drink it, Enoch Snow bursts into the room, snatches the glass away from Julie and forces Billy to drink it instead! "He was goin' t' poison you, Julie, and everyone would think you'd had swallowed a bad clam!" Mrs. Mullin bursts in and keens over the now dead Billy, proclaiming how she's always loved the ol' Maguffin. (No one ever figures out exactly why Mrs. Mullin shows up at this point, but Ingrid gets an Oscar nomination anyway.)
Billy finds himself in heaven, where he meets the Starkeeper, a familiar fellow he can't quite place. The Starkeeper tells him that Julie has had a daughter, Louise (Doris Day) who spends her time singing and dancing on the beach like some nitwit. The inheritance will be hers one day, but if Billy doesn't straighten the girl out she'll waste it all. Billy has one day to return to Earth and make things right.
There, Billy finds that Julie has rejected her inheritance, preferring to live as a lonely but humble widow. Enoch Snow, who has secrectly coveted Julie all along, has had Carrie dye her hair blonde and dress just like Julie, as do all of Carrie and Mr. Snow's children, including the boys. Muttering "And they thought
you were the queer one, Julie Jordan," Billy follows Louise to the beach, but she doesn't like being followed and confronts the stranger asking "Que, sirrah?" "Whatever," he replies, and raises his fist to beat some sense into her. Before he can do her any damage, however, representatives from PETA, the core of Doris' fan club, come on the scene and dispatch Billy. Again.
Up in heaven, the Starkeeper (Alfred Hitchcock) shakes his head. Maybe it'll be easier if he works with cattle instead of actors next time, and he sets out to plot out a western.
