Topic: THE JOGGING JEW (Read 35935 times)

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #60 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:33:25 AM »

As far as food experimentation goes, I have no interest in exploring the strange and exotic simply to say I was game for it.

There have been more than enough wonderful foods I HAVE discovered to keep me happy the rest of my life.

I'm quite certain that the most avid explorer of gustatorial experiences have, or will in their lifetimes, experience a bit of cannibalism just to satisfy their need to have tasted everything that anyone before them has ever tasted.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #61 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:34:21 AM »

I see from the weather maps that BK is getting some rain in his neighborhood today.

At least, the weather person on our channel 2 says they're getting rain down there.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #62 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:34:36 AM »

Oh! I started a new page.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #63 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:36:02 AM »

Happy page 3 dance:

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #64 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:36:53 AM »

That photo is from one of MBarnum's FAVORITE musicals!

Ginny · « **Reply #65 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:43:50 AM »

Tuesday greetings! It's a beautiful day here in SW Ohio, but not as warm as it looks.

I have now signed on the dotted line and made my promotion to Grants Specialist official. What it means is that I will be doing more of what I really like to do and less general information waitressing.

TOD - Probably the most unusual thing I've eaten is a buffalo burger at the Star Restaurant in Murdo, SD. We can't let an "unusual foods" day go by, though, without mentioning Cincinnati's contribution to the genre:

Goetta

I've never had the nerve to try it.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #66 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:46:24 AM »

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches;)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle.

"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, pray and move on , LIVE while you are alive, and know that God and family and friends LOVE you.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

-- "Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none". --William Shakespeare

Jane · « **Reply #67 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:47:35 AM »

On one of our visits to LA, while the boys were very young, my father ordered a tongue sandwich. I think it was Craig who looked up and commented in a very sad voice, “how do the cows moo without their tongues?” Of course once I explained the situation he felt even worse. I think my father and I handled ourselves very well by not laughing too hard.

Jane · « **Reply #68 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:48:33 AM »

Ron, feel better vibes.

I was about to post the time thing-glad I read the posts first.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #69 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:48:45 AM »

I'd have been the child who'd ask how the cows potty if they don't have their rumps!

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #70 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:49:36 AM »

DR Jane: I've probably missed the final report on things, but are you enjoying the remodeled parts of your home?

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #71 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:54:12 AM »

In dubious

taste:

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday School.

So they went to the nearest church.

Only the janitor was there.

"We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?"

"Sure," said the janitor.

He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time.

Then he said, "You are now baptized!".

Outside, one of them asked, "What religion do you think we are?"

The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick, .....because they pour the water on you."

"We're not Babtis, .....because they dunk all of you in the water."

"We're not Methdiss, ......because they just sprinkle water on you."

The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water!"

They all joined in asking, "Yeah! What do you think that means?"

"I think it means we're Pisscopailians.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #72 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:55:20 AM »

Four-year-old James was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."

Concerned, young James looked at his dad and asked: "What happened to the flea?"

vixmom · « **Reply #73 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:56:17 AM »

Quote from: Ron Pulliam on April 04, 2006, 11:28:54 AM

I don't know why you would think I'd "get" anyone, DR vixmom, if you reach 6,000 posts today.

But if you want a competition, I'm more than up to the challenge!

I didn't think you could stand 70 jokes from me in one day.... bless your heart

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #74 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:57:22 AM »

Another "dubious taste" tidbit:

It was entertainment night at the senior center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.”

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

Shit!" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the senior center . . . . . . . .

Jane · « **Reply #75 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:57:54 AM »

Quote from: S. Woody White on April 04, 2006, 08:59:34 AM

Escargot is a terrible waste of good garlic.

A good reason not to get drunk, someone might talk you into tasting slimy garlic.

I sampled brains when my mother shoved them down my mouth, on a spoon that she didn’t realize had been used for the dog food.

I did avoid the frog’s legs she tricked my sister into eating.

We grew up eating fried rabbit and oxtail. I did try venison once-yuck.

Confession time-I tricked my cousin into tasting chocolate covered ants. I was very curious about them and felt what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. Once I began quizzing her for every detail of how the “candy” tasted she became suspicious.

vixmom · « **Reply #76 on:** April 04, 2006, 11:58:52 AM »

Quote from: Ginny on April 04, 2006, 11:43:50 AM

I have now signed on the dotted line and made my promotion to Grants Specialist official. What it means is that I will be doing more of what I really like to do and less general information waitressing.

.

Hoo and Ray!!!

[move=left,scroll,6,transparent,100%]Well deserved congratulations for our very own beloved dear reader Ginny!!!!![/move][/color]

Jane · « **Reply #77 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:01:26 PM »

Quote from: Ron Pulliam on April 04, 2006, 11:48:45 AM

I'd have been the child who'd ask how the cows potty if they don't have their rumps!

Ron, yes-LOVING-the completed parts and very much looking forward to the completion of this last project.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #78 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:01:31 PM »

From a recent column:

While I was watching the back-to-back NCAA playoff games the other night, my wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and taking fluids from a bottle.

She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.

Man, sometimes it's tough being married to a smartass.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #79 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:03:18 PM »

Quote from: Jane on April 04, 2006, 12:01:26 PM

Ron, yes-LOVING-the completed parts and very much looking forward to the completion of this last project.

Isn't it amazing how long these projects take! They can build houses faster than a contractor can do a remodeling project.

vixmom · « **Reply #80 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:04:03 PM »

Oh I've eaten rabbit too.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #81 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:05:28 PM »

A man moves into a nudist colony.

He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half... but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.

He's really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother.

It says: Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style... it makes your nose look short.

Love, Grandma

Jane · « **Reply #82 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:05:33 PM »

Ginny, enjoying your job is a good thing- CONGRATULATIONS!![/size]

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #83 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:06:21 PM »

Quote from: Vixmom on April 04, 2006, 12:04:03 PM

Oh I've eaten rabbit too.

Imagine Bugs Bunny...with tears in his eyes.

Or...Bambi, mourning the loss of his pal, Thumper.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #84 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:08:55 PM »

Every time I eat a steak, I thank Elsie and Elmer for having grazed in the greenest of pastures!

vixmom · « **Reply #85 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:13:02 PM »

Walking through the jungle, a hunter found a dead rhino with a Pygmy standing proudly beside it. Amazed, the hunter asked, "Did you kill that rhino?"

"Why, yes", said the Pygmy," I killed it with my club."

The astonished hunter exclaimed, "Wow! How big is your club?"

The Pygmy replied, "There are about 90 of us."

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #86 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:13:28 PM »

Of course, if we really want to talk about how "exotic" some of the foods we've eaten truly are, I think we need look no further than the list of "allowable" things the FDA excuses in such things as flour and meal and stuff....such as rodent droppings, hairs, insect parts, etc.

A veritable cornucopia of "gourmet exotica" MAY be in our most basic foodstuffs.

vixmom · « **Reply #87 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:13:34 PM »

Quote from: Ron Pulliam on April 04, 2006, 12:06:21 PM

Imagine Bugs Bunny...with tears in his eyes.

Or...Bambi, mourning the loss of his pal, Thumper.

Oh and venison and duck are good too

vixmom · « **Reply #88 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:14:24 PM »

Did you hear about the blacksmith's educated dog?

Every time the blacksmith would walk into the room and clap his hands, the dog would jump up and make a bolt for the door.

Ron Pulliam · « **Reply #89 on:** April 04, 2006, 12:15:02 PM »

And did anyone here ever read/hear about the foods most highly prized by Ancient Romans in their feasts?

They ate eyes...pickled or otherwise...eggs, often to the point of being totally rotten....

No WONDER they invented the vomitorium!

News:

Author Topic: THE JOGGING JEW (Read 35935 times)