Topic: THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING PHONE (Read 24467 times)

FJL · « **Reply #30 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:36:11 AM »

And one for Morror

FJL · « **Reply #31 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:37:13 AM »

"Morror" being the bitter herbs, for those who don't speak Haggadah Hebrew.

FJL · « **Reply #32 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:38:28 AM »

Hmmm. might it not be a miztva for me to get up to post #1800 (100 times chai) on the Sabbath that falls during Passover?

FJL · « **Reply #33 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:39:34 AM »

Maybe I'll re-list some of my favorite tax-realted films and sundried related matters.

FJL · « **Reply #34 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:39:49 AM »

A TAXING WOMAN

FJL · « **Reply #35 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:40:12 AM »

A TAXING WOMAN'S RETURN

FJL · « **Reply #36 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:40:36 AM »

THE RETURN OF MARTIN GUERRE

FJL · « **Reply #37 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:40:53 AM »

THE RETURN OF THE PINK PANTHER

FJL · « **Reply #38 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:41:36 AM »

RETURN OF THE JEDI

(they file a 1040NR, for nonresident aliens

)

FJL · « **Reply #39 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:42:06 AM »

A TAX OF THE KILLER TOMATOES

FJL · « **Reply #40 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:42:41 AM »

The famous Marx Brothers routine "WHY DEDUCT?"

FJL · « **Reply #41 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:43:25 AM »

The line from SOUND OF MUSIC: "Trapped by our capital gains are we, how can love survive?"

FJL · « **Reply #42 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:44:23 AM »

From Natalie Cole's song "I've Got Love On My Mind" - as the IRS would say, "I've been waiting for your return"

Maria · « **Reply #43 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:45:06 AM »

Inane? Hmmm... I'm always thinking about six things at once... which opens the door W-I-D-E for doing inane stuff.

The first incident which popped into my head was horrible at the time, but is now just another example of stupid behavior. I was living in Boulder, CO and was going through some stressful times - much of it financial. One morning I was rushing to pick up some vitamins at a medical office and parked on an incline in the office lot -- all the while thinking about the bills that were piling up on my desk. I was so busy thinking about said bills that I didn't put the car in Park. Just turned off the engine and took my foot off the brake. The car, of course, rolled forward -- and right into the car parked below it. I just sat there and cried. (I borrowed the money from a friend to pay for the damage to the other car - around $600!)

FJL · « **Reply #44 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:47:15 AM »

From the great I LOVE LUCY episode, where she got the game show questions mixed up: "What do you call the creature that garbs you by the neck and sucks all the blood out of you?"

"The director of Internal Revenue"

(I don't have the question exactly right, but the answer was meant to be a vampire bat, IIRC)

FJL · « **Reply #45 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:48:22 AM »

And finally,

FJL · « **Reply #46 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:49:05 AM »

My post #1800 - to life, to life, l'chaim!

FJL · « **Reply #47 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:50:18 AM »

Recent inane thing I've done - acting on the need to get to the 1800th post on the Sabbath of Passover week.

Maria · « **Reply #48 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:53:54 AM »

RETURNS OF THE SECAUCUS SEVEN
ATTAX OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN (starring Miss Allison Hayes)
TAX-I DRIVER

Maria · « **Reply #49 on:** April 15, 2006, 10:54:54 AM »

Mazel Tov, FJL!

FJL · « **Reply #50 on:** April 15, 2006, 11:06:55 AM »

Thanks, Maria.

Also, thanks for coming up with some tax puns that are much worse (by that I mean better

) than the old accounting office standards. Those new puns are definitely on the list for recitation at the company's after-tax-season party. We are a riotous bunch in our tax department.

Maria · « **Reply #51 on:** April 15, 2006, 11:11:55 AM »

You're welcome, FJL. I believe this will be the first time that my work will be appearing at an after-tax-season party.

FJL · « **Reply #52 on:** April 15, 2006, 11:32:20 AM »

Maria - I may not actually credit you by name for those puns. Hope that's OK.

Now, to be honest, I'm used to times when I have nothing to do, but it's disorienting (though not entirely unpleasant) to have geared up for a hectic weekend and then have nothing to do. Except for tomorrow's Easter dinner, that is. I was ready to do returns all weekend, so darnit, maybe I'll make up some fictitious people and do returns for them. How inane would that be? Or is it just insane?

FJL · « **Reply #53 on:** April 15, 2006, 11:34:34 AM »

I'm all alone here on the board.

Obviously, people have lots to do this weekend.

FJL · « **Reply #54 on:** April 15, 2006, 11:36:24 AM »

And I've got a little left eye bleariness going. So maybe the tax reprieve came just at the right time.

PennyO · « **Reply #55 on:** April 15, 2006, 11:44:08 AM »

Quote from: Maria on April 15, 2006, 10:45:06 AM

I was living in Boulder, CO and was going through some stressful times - much of it financial. One morning I was rushing to pick up some vitamins at a medical office and parked on an incline in the office lot -- all the while thinking about the bills that were piling up on my desk. I was so busy thinking about said bills that I didn't put the car in Park. Just turned off the engine and took my foot off the brake. The car, of course, rolled forward -- and right into the car parked below it. I just sat there and cried. (I borrowed the money from a friend to pay for the damage to the other car - around $600!)

Proof of the rule: What you give your attention to grows. What you take your attention from withers. The Universe only knows abundance... Concentrate very hard... your determined focus is SO creative!! While you were concentrating on bills piling up you connected with so much creative energy!!! Open the channel!! - bills? sure, we got plenty! Here you go! Here's another!!!

I LOVE this stuff!!! It is proof of our power to create!!

PennyO · « **Reply #56 on:** April 15, 2006, 11:45:10 AM »

Quote from: FJL on April 15, 2006, 10:49:05 AM

My post #1800 - to life, to life, l'chaim!

Beautiful! Just Beautiful!!!

Ben · « **Reply #57 on:** April 15, 2006, 01:08:43 PM »

It's been quite a morning at 16th Street (and afternoon too)!

I posted one line early today thinking my problem might be going away but no chance. The pain that happened was excruciating.

I had woken up around 5:30 when I turned in sleep and had screaming pain. I then got out of bed and took some ibuprofen. No help. I was OK if I stood or sat in one position but any random movement on my left side and I was in agony.

I woke up Anthony and we went to an urgent care center a few blocks away. It was acutally not a bad experience. I was second on the walk-in list. We arrived at 8:55am. The doors opend at 9am and we were there in back of the gentleman who was first. I only waited about 45 minutes.

Turns out the doctor thinks I have a severe muscle spasm. I've never had anything like this before. He prescribed Vicodin and Flexeril, a muscle relaxant. We went to the pharmacy and filled one of the prescriptions but they didn't have the Vicodin or the generic equivalent so we had to walk to another pharmacy where we got the drugs.

We got back home and I had a big bowl of oatmeal (even though it's almost 80 degrees) since we don't have much food in the house. Today was going to be grocery shopping day. I then took a vicodin and a flexeril and about half an hour later I fell asleep. I've been asleep every since (it's now 4pm) but I must say the drugs did work. I'm up and a little groggy but I' not in pain. I'm still sore but not in pain. The doctor said it will take a day or two for the muscle to un-spasm and then I should be OK.

Wow. I have a high tolerance for pain but I've never felt anything like this. At one point in the examining room I was taking off my jacket and I turned the wrong way and the pain knocked me to the floor. I've seen that kind of thing in the movies but was never sure it could actually happen. I was wrong. Then as we were leaving I turned my head the wrong way as I was saying goodbye to the doctor and boom, I'm on the floor again.

Luckily it's much better now.

Needless to say, it will be a quiet Easter here in Chelsea. No Easter Egg Roll for this couple.

Anthony, by the way, is a very good nurse!

Ben · « **Reply #58 on:** April 15, 2006, 01:09:11 PM »

And on that note, I'm going back to lay down.

TCB · « **Reply #59 on:** April 15, 2006, 01:19:42 PM »

Quote from: bk on April 15, 2006, 12:07:50 AM

And the word of the day is: EXFOLIATION!

That is what I try to do to those statues that have fig leafs on them.

News:

Author Topic: THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING PHONE (Read 24467 times)

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

FJL

Ben

Ben