Vixmum is missing so to fill in the gap:
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to
be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.
He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzales said. "They desire average solutions
by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
absolute value."
"They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "there are 3 sides to every
triangle".
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given
us more fingers and toes."