Well, dear readers, I have received the second blurb for my very own novel. How exciting is that? I’m hoping for two more, but my deadline is approaching, although both people have promised me I’d have them by Monday. My second blurb came from none other than the wonderfully talented and amusing Gary Owens, he of Laugh-In and radio and television fame. I’d given him a copy of the book when I had dinner with him at Christmas-time. My friends called him and told him that if he’d enjoyed the book that we’d love a blurb from him (they told him that Ira Levin had already done so). And the next day, we had the blurb. And here it is:
“I can really relate to Bruce Kimmel’s Benjamin Kritzer, what a wonderful, beautifully written rush of 50s nostalgia – I love it! And it’s even funnier than Rosemary’s Baby (sorry, Ira). Bruce is a great talent who even mentions my favorite lunch of pickle and pimento loaf. Bravo! Bravo!” Gary Owens, Hollywood Supreme High Nurgle.
Isn’t that a wonderful blurb? And I love the little comment regarding Rosemary’s Baby and Ira Levin. Thank you Gary Owens. As promised, as soon as the other blurbs arrive, I will share them with you immediately.
David Wechter and I had a very good meeting with two producers yesterday, in regards to the musical we’re writing. The producers seemed very excited and we’re hoping they come on board.
Last night I dreamed I was at Manderly. And here is what happened – oops, we better click on the Unseemly Button below before this section becomes too long and we all get bitch-slapped by Mr. Mark Bakalor, Internet Bitch-Slapper.
Last night I dreamed I was at Manderly. I dreamed that I had awakened and looked out my front window, only to see three cars on my lawn, in various states of disarray and batterment. I then noticed that the garage door was open and that someone (the person who’d left the three cars on my lawn?) had stolen my car. Luckily, I had removed my wallet, which was in the house, so they hadn’t gotten that at least. I got very upset (in the dream) and called the police. Then I woke up. Happily, my car was in the garage, safe and sound (interestingly, I had indeed brought my wallet in the house last night). I wonder why I am dreaming of people stealing things from me? Leaving me battered remnants on my lawn? I shall have to ponder the Meaning of It All, shan’t I?
Yesterday, I promised you I’d print one of the songs from Psycho! The Musical by Hinky Meltz and Ernest Ernest. Oh, how I wish I’d seen it – it only had one performance and the reaction was so violent that the show was withdrawn immediately. It so depressed Meltz and Ernest that they did not write a song for two years. And they never wrote another musical. But we can’t let this interesting work die. So, over the next few days, I’ll be sharing with you various numbers from this extraordinary score (I managed to get a copy on eBay). Here’s one of the best of them. Sung in the show by Marion Crane – Marion has stolen money from her boss, and is on the way to see her boyfriend Sam Loomis. But a rainstorm causes her to pull off the road and spend a night at the Bates Motel. She has supper with the proprieter, a strange bird named Norman Bates. Somehow, after their conversation, she has a change of heart, and when she goes back to her room she has decided to return the money and make a clean breast of things. She disrobes, and steps into the shower feeling much better. She sings:
SHOWERING MY TROUBLES AWAY Music by Hinky Meltz Lyrics by Ernest Ernest
IT WAS WRONG TO STEAL THE MONEY,
IT’S NOT HARD TO CATCH A THIEF
BUT TOMORROW WILL BE SUNNY
AND MY SOUL WILL FEEL RELIEF
CAUSE I’M GONNA GIVE THAT MONEY BACK
LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY
YOU CAN’T BUY OFF UNHAPPINESS
SO I’M GONNA FACE THE DAY
AND I’M
SHOWERING MY TROUBLES AWAY
CLEANSING THE DIRT AND GRIME
THE SOAP IS MAKING LITTLE BUBBLES
THAT ARE WASHING AWAY MY CRIME
AND I’M FEELING TRUER, FEELING CLEANER
AND THE SKY WILL BE BLUER AND THE GRASS WILL BE GREENER
CAUSE I’M SHOWERING AWAY MY TROUBLES
WATCH THE TROUBLES GO DOWN THE DRAIN.
I’LL CLOSE MY EYES
AND LET THE WATER WASH OVER ME
CASCADING DOWN AND MAKING ME
FEEL FANCY FREE
THE WATER’S NICE AND HOT
AND I LIKE THIS SHOWER QUITE A LOT…
WAIT A MINUTE!
WHO’S THAT OLD LADY WHO JUST RIPPED ASIDE
THE SHOWER CURTAIN???
SHE’S HOLDING A REALLY BIG KNIFE,
THAT’S THE ONE THING I KNOW
FOR CERTAIN!
OH, MY LORD! SHE’S GOING TO STAB ME
JAB ME
AND POKE ME FULL OF HOLES.
FROM THE TOP OF MY TORSO
ALL THE WAY DOWN TO MY SOLES!
SLASH! SLASH!
LADY, I’M BLEEDING!
SLASH! SLASH!
LADY, I’M PLEADING
DON’T END MY LIFE
WHAT’S WITH THE KNIFE?
STOP WITH THE SLASHING
OR I’LL BE CASHING OUT!
I CAN FEEL MY LIFE EBBING
AND I’M GOING UNDER
SHE JUST KEEPS SLASHING
AND I AM WONDER-
ING WHY???
I SHOWERED AWAY MY TROUBLES
BUT THE TROUBLE IS – I’M GOING TO DIE!
NO LIE!
IT’S CRAZY, IT’S INSANE
BUT I’M LYING IN THE TUB
AND MY TROUBLES AND MY LIFE
ARE GOING DOWN THE DRAIN!
I REALLY MEAN IT!
MY TROUBLES AND MY LIFE
ARE GOING DOWN THE DRAIN!
Isn’t that an amazing piece? I only wish you could hear the toe-tapping bouncy “C” music that accompanies it. Is this not a perfect show for Encores!?
Don’t forget, tomorrow we’ll have a brand spanking new Unseemly Trivia Contest. Remember our new rules – you may submit your guesses up until Monday night at midnight (I’m making it Monday night now, because some of our dear readers do not have access to their computers on the weekends). If we have multiple High Winners (those who guess correctly) then we will put those names into our handy-dandy electronic hat and from there we will pick the Highest Winner, who, of course, will win a handy-dandy prize. One other new rule – only your first guess will count – so, don’t send in your guess until you’re absolutely sure that’s what you want your answer to be.
Donald will be posting over the weekend about next week’s radio show, so don’t forget to check out the Unseemly Comments. Speaking of Unseemly Comments, check out yesterday’s notes and comments, because we have some fun dear reader What Ifs for you to peruse. Just click on the Unseemly Archive Button and you will be whisked away to Archiveland.
Well, dear readers, I must continue to ponder the meaning of my dream.