Well, dear readers, here we are on an overcast Thursday morning. I would like to know which casting director is responsible for this Thursday being overcast. Thursday is a day for a small cast or, at the very least, a cast of five or six. But today there are way too many people out and about and frankly that is wholly unacceptable. What the hell am I talking about?
I heard from two of our favorite people yesterday. First, I got a call from Mr. Tony Walton, who told me he had a bad feeling my book wasn’t going to end as he wished it would. I thought that was very sweet, but I would not give him any hints or clues as to how it does end. Then I got an e-mail from Mr. Rupert Holmes, who apologized profusely for not doing his Unseemly Interview yet. He does have a slight excuse, so I forgave him. It seems he has a show opening on Broadway in September (Say Goodnight, Gracie), a new musical in tryouts (Marty), a novel coming out, and a stage adaptation of Remember WENN. He did assure me that we will do our Unseemly Interview very soon. In the meantime, I have not heard hide nor hair from Mr. Craig Brockman, so I’m beginning to doubt whether the John Treacy Egan interview will go up tomorrow as planned – it may have to go up on Monday instead.
I vaguely remembered we talked about singer/songwriter Mason Williams in these here notes a few weeks ago – I managed to pick up a copy of the CD of The Mason Williams Phonograph Record yesterday. I haven’t heard that album for over twenty years, and I’m happy to report it is as delightful as ever. Today, it is inconceivable that artists like Mason Williams, Van Dyke Parks, Rupert Holmes or even Randy Newman would be allowed to make the daring and inventive kinds of albums they made back then, especially for a major label. What a wonderful time for music it was back then. In any case, The Mason Williams Phonograph Record is very quirky, but has some beautiful songs, some funny songs, some throwaway songs, a classic (Classical Gas), and a spectacularly gorgeous piece of instrumental music called Sunflower. If you’ve ever seen the film version of Sweet Charity your mouth will drop to the floor when you hear Sunflower. Do remember that Sunflower was written first. I don’t know if Mr. Coleman heard Sunflower and liked the feel of it, or if Mr. Fosse heard it and liked the feel of it, but if you watch the ending of the film, where Miss Shirley MacLaine wakes up on the bench in Central Park with some hippies (including Bud Cort) are saying “peace” and “love” to her, you will know exactly what I mean. In any case, if you’ve never heard this album, I recommend it highly.
Well, I have been slaving over a hot laptop answering all your excellent questions, so perhaps we’d all better click on the Unseemly Button below so we can, at long last, get to them.
Have I mentioned that it’s an overcast Thursday? It’s definitely not a Two for the Seesaw kind of day, it’s more like a The King and I kind of day.
Do you know what surprises me? If someone jumps out of a dark shadowy place and talks loud, that surprises me, but what else surprises me is that no one, not one of you dear readers, has ever ever ever (that is three evers) asked me this key question: Have I ever worn two pairs of pants at the same time? I should think this is something that every Hainsie/Kimlet would want to know and yet that key question has remained unasked. Actually, shouldn’t it be two pairs of pant? Isn’t pants a pair to begin with, as in one pant, two pants. I know we’ve been down this pant road before and I’m quite certain we’ll be down this pant road again. But for now, before we all begin panting, let us get to your excellent questions, which I have answered to the best of my ability – and I have not checked for typos, so forgive any you may or may not find.
Buckleyfan asks how I got involved with music and the entertainment industry and why is the musical theater an important area for me to bring to people. I’ve answered some of this before, so I’ll give you the Reader’s Digest version. I have always (knock wood) been involved professionally in some phase of the entertainment industry since I was twenty years old. First as an actor for many years, then as a writer/director and finally as a record producer. I’ve always loved the Broadway musical, since I was a wee sprig of a twig of a sprout of a tad of a youth. I do feel that after 130 albums I have managed to introduce a few young people to interesting theater music they might not have heard otherwise. It’s wonderful when young people realize there’s a world of musical theater outside of Les Miz and Jekyll and Hyde and Phantom. Do I think the Internet is still a valid place for those Broadway artists who might not get the mainstream notice that pop groups get? Do a lot of them take the risk of going unnoticed even on the net if they’ve self-produced their own albums? I think the Internet is helpful to get the word out, it’s a place where people can hear about and find out things about new performers. The only problem with a lot of these self-produced albums is that they aren’t very good. Performers are not always producers – those are two different worlds. I don’t know any Broadway performer who should produce their own album – they should always have a producer they trust to listen and give notes and help with the material. Finally, Buckleyfan wants to know if I’ve ever ridden a horse. I have, when I was younger, but it made me nervous so I didn’t do it much. People do love to ride horses, so you should try it to see if you like it. Let’s just say that I didn’t bond with the horse.
Ron Pulliam asks what my opinion of the score to Carmelina is? I don’t know it all that well, but the bits I’ve heard seem nice, although not as good as other Lerner.
William E. Lurie asks if I’m ever aware in advance when one of my reruns will air. Well, since I haven’t really watched regular television in ten years, and since I haven’t bought a TV Guide in fifteen, no I’m never aware. I hear about them after the fact, because people will invariably call me if they’ve seen one of the shows, or sometimes people even stop me on the street.
Ben asks what I think of the current state of cartoons and animation. I’m a bit bored by it, frankly. It’s all very well done, but I just am not really interested. Ben mentions the classic Warners cartoons and Rocky and Bullwinkle, and I adore those and never tire of them, because they were unique and suffused with personality. I like Pixar, if that counts.
Kerry asks if I were to cast Barbara Harris in a musical today (old or new) which part would I choose for her. Hmmm – I’d still love to see her in On a Clear Day even though she’s too old for it now. I think she’d probably be an interesting Desiree in Night Music. Next, Kerry doesn’t know if they’ve attempted to turn any of Neil Simon’s plays or movies into musicals, but which ones do I think would be suited to being a musical and who would I have write the music and lyrics? Well, Mr. Simon himself, along with Mr. Hamlisch and Mr. Zippel attempted The Goodbye Girl, with terrible results. It was almost as if Mr. Simon forgot what made the movie work. I don’t know if I feel any of Mr. Simon’s plays would make good musicals. Maybe the film of The Heartbreak Kid could be musicalized, although I don’t really see the point. If I were to cast Diana Canova in a musical (new or old), what part would it be? Well, I heard she was a marvelous Charlotte in Night Music, so certainly that one. I think she can pretty much do anything – she’s got a gorgeous voice, a beautiful face, great comic timing, and she’s a good actress to boot. What are my favorite pies? Well, coconut custard with whipped cream is my all-time favorite pie. I also like cherry pie every now and then, and chocolate cream pie, too. Also, banana cream pie is amusing once in a great while. Finally, Kerry tells me that the idea of doing The Parent Trap as a musical came up some time ago (first I’ve heard of it) – if it were to be done who would I have write the songs and where do I feel they’d fit in? It would not be an easy adaptation, but it might and could just work. The plot is classic and the structure is certainly sound. There would be ample opportunity for all kinds of songs in all kinds of situations and scenes, too. I wouldn’t mind a Charles Strouse with whoever (maybe Marty Charnin) score, or maybe Maltby and Shire.
Allan was listening to Petula Clark’s Here For You album (which I produced) and noticed that on the Seasons of Love track there’s a bit of Easy To Be Hard. Allan wants to know if I thought of that. No, if it’s there it was Ron Abel, the musical director who put it there. I do like to do things like that, however. Have I ever interpolated a song from a different show by different authors into any other tracks? Not sure exactly what you mean – if you mean have I ever quoted from other songs within a track, sure, many times. If you mean have I ever taken two different songs by different authors and put them together, sure – for example, on Emily Skinner’s solo album I put together Secret Love with Is it Really Me? because I felt the two songs told a little story. As to quotes, if you listen to Christiane Noll’s A Broadway Love Story album, I do several.
S. Woody White asks if at my upcoming signing at Bookfellows people should bring their own pointy party hats, or if I will supply them. No, people must bring their own, and if they are brave they must wear their own colored tights and pantaloons. I will, however, be supplying the cheese slices and the ham chunks.
Mark noticed that in the liner notes of Celebration and A Doll’s Life that I was listed as the reissue producer for CD. He wants to know how I was involved with Bay Cities, the label that issued them and whether Varese bought them out. I started Bay Cities with two friends of mine, and in three years we did ninety-three releases, most of which were reissues. We were distributed by an independent distributor who was not very square with us and we could never grow in the way I wanted to grow. Then, I was offered the Varese job and I simply shut down Bay Cities because I knew that eventually we’d go nowhere fast. It was really a hobby for all of us, not a full-time thing. Varese did buy four of the original albums we did and subsequently reissued them on their label. What is my favorite Strouse and Adams score? Well, I’m afraid I’ll have to be terribly predictable and say Bye Bye Birdie, because I simply adore it. I also am very fond of Applause and bits of All American. If we remove Adams from the equation, I think Annie has got great stuff and I think Rags is a major score.
Hapgood has returned and has the following questions: How long was I at Bay Cities and why did I leave? See above for the leaving reason – I was at Bay Cities for all of its existence, three years. One of the Bay Cities albums was Brent Spiner’s Old Yellow Eyes is Back – was I involved with that album and is it any good? I was involved only insofar as picking it up for distribution and, if I recall correctly, making sequencing suggestions. It’s really quite an okay album. What is my opinion of the Celebration score? Well, as most of you know, I adore Schmidt and Jones and I’m very fond of Celebration, especially the songs Orphan in the Storm and I’m Glad To See You’ve Got What You Want (which I had my friend Guy Haines sing on his album).
Freedunit has returned and asks: What is next? So many things cooking right now – as I said in yesterday’s notes, it’s too soon to talk about anything yet, but I think two of the upcoming projects will really tickle you dear readers. Within the next month you shall know all. Do I have a new favorite ice cream or frozen dessert? I have been enjoying the cantaloupe-flavored Fruit-a-Freeze ice cream bars, but that’s really the only new thing I’ve tried. I have also been having Fosters Freeze ice cream cones quite a bit lately. Why do people have difficulty believing that Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune was written for Kathy Bates and that she appeared nude in it. Probably because the movie version had Michelle Pfeiffer. Do I think a film will be made of either Rent or tick…tick…BOOM! Rent may go the way of Hair, where a film is made many years after it closes on Broadway. As to tick…tick…BOOM, no.
William F. Orr asks if I can describe the moment when the lyrical concept to Let ‘Em Eat Cake came to me? I know it was one of the last things I wrote – I wrote it when I was actually writing the script in 1974 (The Lights and the Smiles was written then, too) but I have no memory of how it came to me.
Michael Shayne has a few questions: Why didn’t I like the television version of Gypsy with Bette Midler? I thought it was directed badly, I thought it looked bad, and Bette, who I thought would be great, really disappointed me as Mama Rose. I didn’t mind Peter Riegert or Cynthia Gibb, though. If someone wants to use a song or instrumental track from one of my produced albums in a film or television show who has the rights? Whatever label owns the album. If someone pays a royalty, how is it distributed? To the producer? The singer? The writers? Well, it’s licensed by the label – usually unless the producer or singer has a special deal, they won’t receive anything. The writers will, of course, receive a writer’s royalty. When a film says “Courtesy of” does that mean the label gave them the music for no fee, in return for an appearance in the film? Never – film companies always pay a fee and get a royalty of some sort, although sometimes they just do a buyout so that there is no royalty. Does the singer or artist have any say in how it’s used? If the singer or artist wields power, probably. Mostly not, though. Amazon.com plays thirty second clips of tracks from the CDs they have for sale – is the fact that they’re thirty seconds in length allow for the non-payment of royalties? Of course – it’s a promotional tool for the label and for amazon. If a song is used for less that thirty seconds in a film does that mean they don’t have to pay a royalty or fee? No, they have to pay for even a second. I’ll tell you a funny story – when I did my instrumental version of Ragtime with Brad Ellis, it turned out to be a really good selling album. We got a call from a tv show asking if they could license thirty seconds of a track. Varese ended up doing so and got paid $7,000 for it. Brad and I got zip, of course. Such is the way of the world.
Tom from Oz asks if I think Paul Simon will ever try Broadway again? I would have to assume that Mr. Simon would rather have a brick shoved down his throat than try Broadway again. What do I think of those mics they use in such shows as Smokey Joe’s Café and Rent? I hate them, I hate the way they look and they make me nauseous. What do I think of the trend to just do shows that have compilations of songs not specifically written for the stage? I find all those shows boring, I must say. They really hold no interest for me whatsoever, no matter what the star power is or how high energy they are or how well staged they are.
George asks if I prefer to be called Bruce or BK or Mr. Kimmel? Never Mr. Kimmel. Never ever. Hate it. Bruce is usually fine, but many people call me BK, too, which I like.
Matthew has this question: In all my years of producing, which “star” that I’ve worked with has been the easiest to work with and which has been not-so-easy? Well, I take the word “star” very seriously. Very few of the people I’ve worked with are “stars” even though some of them are more talented than “stars”. So, of the “stars” I would say the easiest and most fun was Miss Ann Margret, who was a doll, and also Miss Lauren Bacall, who I adored working with. Miss Dorothy Loudon is dreamy to work with, too, and I even had fun with Miss Elaine Stritch. I was warned about the latter three ladies by many – but I find that every time I’m warned about someone I end up loving them and having a blast. I find that if they trust you and like you they will totally put themselves in your hands. And of course, working with the likes of Ann Margret and Stritch and Loudon and Bacall is amazing and very gratifying because they want to be great and it’s fun to help them if they should need the help. As to the not-so-easy, only one – Miss Carol Channing, who I found somewhat unpleasant (do not get me wrong – as a performer I love her dearly and would watch her in anything – as a human being to work with, well, it just wasn’t pleasant at all). She is so caught up in her own little world there is simply no breaking through, which is a shame really.
Paul Fairie tells me that his CD collection is becoming most unseemly and asks if I have any tips on how to organize them? If you saw my CD closet right now you would not be asking me that question. That said, I organize by genre – shows, soundtracks, classical, instrumental and vocal, and each genre is alphabetized. I’m simply out of room, so there are piles of CDs on the floor and I have to figure out what to do about it because it is really starting to annoy me.
Td is very excited about the brand spanking new MGM Double Feature horror DVDs which will be released in a couple of weeks and wants to know how I feel about Vincent Price’s work for Roger Corman. First of all, I managed to get one of the double feature DVDs yesterday, The Oblong Box and Scream and Scream Again, both featuring Mr. Price and both directed by Gordon Hessler, who I worked for as an actor on a show called Lucas Tanner. The transfers look very nice indeed. Anyway, I like Mr. Price’s work for Mr. Corman, and I would dare say that Mr. Price might not have reached quite the iconic stature he has today if it weren’t for those films. Do I have a favorite Christopher Lee performance. Well, not to be a bore, but he is wonderful in Horror of Dracula and also in Horror Hotel (aka City of the Dead) – but I always like him, and in fact he was the first person we offered the role of Dr. Stark to in The Creature Wasn’t Nice. He turned it down, saying, “I loved it until I got eaten.” What do I think of Anthony Shaffer’s The Wicker Man? I like it better after having seen the full version on DVD. Do I like the 40s work of Ray Milland better than the later work. I’ve always loved Ray Milland – his 40s work is better only because the films were better, but he’s superb in just about everything, even the clunkers like Frogs and The Thing with Two Heads. Do I think What’s the Matter with Helen is underrated. Yes, very few people remember it, I’m afraid. I’m a fan of its director, Mr. Curtis Harrington, and it’s got a great score by Mr. David Raksin.
Well, I’m exhausted. I must now take the day, I must do the things I do, I must put on my second pair of pant (oops, I guess I just answered that question, didn’t I?), I must get in my automobile and go places and try to avoid most of the cast that is out on this extremely overcast day. Today’s topic of discussion: Disney has many movies that would be ripe for musicalizing for the stage – which do you think would make a great stage musical and why, and if it isn’t already a musical, who would you have write the songs? Did you see what I did there? I took Kerry’s question and used it as a topic of discussion. What do you think of that? Post away, my pretties.