Well, dear readers, I finally had a decent nights sleep last night and I feel groggy but ever so much better. And I have the whole glorious weekend to myself (the first I’ve had in three weeks, I think), to be left to my own devices. Have you ever been left to your own devices? Have you ever been right to your own devices? My devices include a widescreen television, my handy-dandy laptop computer and my automobile, at least those will be my devices for this weekend, along with my fancy-shmancy couch. It has finally cooled off her in Los Angeles, California, and the mornings especially have been lovely – a bit gray, a bit chilly and a pleasant change of pace from the unrelenting heat and sun.
What am I, a weatherman? I hadn’t realized that the soundtrack of Flower Drum Song had come out until I read a post by Mr. Ron Pulliam, so I must go out and purchase it this very day, as I love, love, love (that is three loves) it.
Can someone explain to me this: I’ll be sitting here, thinking about the next thing to write, and I’ll look at the screen and suddenly the little cursor sitting where I stopped typing just moves somewhere else on the page? That is disobedience from that fershluganah cursor and I won’t have it. That cursor must be punished and made aware of what will happen if it continues to behave in such a manner. I mean, it just moves somewhere else on the page, and if I haven’t seen it do so and I start typing I get confused because I’m suddenly typing within a sentence I’ve already written. Then I have to press “edit undo” or whatever the hell it is and all because of the bad bad cursor.
Just prior to the cursor moving of its own accord, I had something to write, but it has completely gone out of my head now that I’ve been sidetracked by the moving cursor. I shall now curse the cursor by saying “pshaw”. Can you all join me please, in cursing the cursor by saying “pshaw”? On the count of three please: One, two, three – “pshaw”. There, maybe that will teach the cursor a lesson it won’t forget. What the hell am I talking about?
In any case, I have questions to answer and by gum and by golly I shall answer them, so let’s all click on the Unseemly Button below so I can get to it.
So far, in this section, the cursor is behaving, so maybe our well-done “pshaw” is working. Because if it moves on its own accord one more time, it’s going to be a group bitch-slap, let me tell you that. Well, now on to your excellent questions, and hopefully the cursor will stay where it is supposed to, damn it’s eyes.
S.Woody White asks what five DVDs would I say are absolute musts for any DVD collection? Well, my absolute musts might not be anyone else’s absolute musts, but for me five that I could not do without (simply because I love the films, and the transfers are lovely): Rosemary’s Baby, Chinatown, The Court Jester (all three Paramount), the amazing transfer of 8½ (Criterion), and maybe Black Narcissus (also Criterion). However, the list of must haves might be totally different tomorrow. However, all five above are wonderful DVDs – the first three have no extras at all, just lovely transfers and great films, the latter two have many extras. Can I mention the five DVDs that people should avoid? Well, anything on the Madacy label should be avoided. There’s a cheap version of Polanski’s Repulsion, which should be avoided at all costs, on the Koch label.
Ron Pulliam asks when you dear readers will learn what my “movie deal” is all about? Where will it be shooting and will I allow Hainsies/Kimlets to visit the set? Is the “movie deal” a comedy, a drama, a musical? I revealed (under penalty of expulsion and death) the theme of the film at our New York gathering. I will reveal it here within the next two weeks. It will shoot in New York and Los Angeles. It has elements of comedy, drama, and music. And I should think Hainsies/Kimlets who are in the area would be most welcome to visit the set.
George asks how I became involved with the Tourette Syndrome cause and asks if it’s one that I’ve supported for years or if this particular event is the first I’ve organized for this cause. First off, I’m not organizing it, Miss Cissy Wechter and TSA (the Tourette Syndrome group) are (with help from other Wechters and myself – it is basically the same benefit I staged last April in Los Angeles, but with New York performers this time). Cissy’s late husband, Julius Wechter (he of the Baja Marimba Band and Spanish Flea) had Tourettes, and I was not only a friend of he and Cissy (and David and the rest of the large family) I also produced his last album, New Deal for Bay Cities. The Wechters told me they were planning a tribute concert in honor of Julius, and I said count me in – and they asked me to direct it, which I was honored and thrilled to do. Have I ever been involved with other causes or benefits, and which ones have been the most fun and which have been the most moving? Well, I’ve recorded several AIDS benefits, and I organized a wonderful Equity Fights Aids benefit, an Unsung Musicals concert, way back in 1995, I think. The most fun was probably that one, the most moving, the Wechter event.
Tom from Oz asks if I have any favorite Rod McKuen songs? I like Mr. McKuen, and my all-time favorite of his is the beautiful I’ll Catch the Sun from the abomination known as Joanna. I also like his music for The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.
Craig has a few (but less than a plethora) questions: What did I eat whilst at Joe Allen’s? Well, I was there quite a few times – I had the tostada with chorizo, eggs and beans one night, I had a steak, and I had a large Caesar Salad. Was I able to catch any other shows beside Say Goodnight, Gracie? No, sadly. Todd Ellison offered to get me into Amour, but I simply couldn’t get to the theater in time from one of my meetings. Any opinions about Dreamworks bringing Shrek to the stage? Yawn? Will there be Hainsies/Kimlets used as extras in my upcoming film? I’ve been thinking about that, and we may have a contest with several winners, who would get to be extras. Do we like that idea? Do I intend to create bonus materials for the film that would appear on the DVD release? Absoulutely. We’ll have a Behind The Scenes documentary, and because of the nature of the film, there will be lots of outtakes included.
Sandra asks if I can mention any interesting items I’ve purchased on eBay. I’ve bought much great stuff on eBay. Some of the best: several fantastic paintings, all illustration art. I bought a Godzilla bubble bath dispenser. I’ve gotten menus from most of the LA restaurants I frequented as a child. Many excellent first editions. An official Civil Defense Geiger Counter. A French Monopoly game, an English Monopoly game, a Japanese Monopoly game, a Franklin Mint Monopoly game, a Franklin Mint Scrabble Game, many rare CDs, a few 16mm prints, the extremely rare LP of Evening Primrose (pressed by Sondheim for friends), Pacific Ocean Park memorabilia, and on and on.
Jose asks if I would like to produce an album which contained one piece of music done by different artists. This has been done a few times – Jose mentions Pachelbel’s Canon in D, and I have a CD called Round Midnight which is all different versions of that classic jazz ballad. I think it’s an interesting idea which doesn’t really work with songs. But I wouldn’t mind a CD which had different interpretations of Albinoni’s Adagio on it, because I love that piece, and it could be interpreted in a variety of ways which would make for a wonderful listening experience – a slow jazz version, a traditional version, a vocalese, a big-band (not uptempo, more Stan Kenton), in the style of Mahler, etc. I wouldn’t mind producing that myself.
We haven’t had a handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest in ages, so I have devised a difficult one for today (which means everyone will probably figure it out). Here it is:
In the late 60s, a novelist and playwright had a hit comedy playing in New York, but he also wrote a notorious flop musical the same season that his hit comedy closed. In the hit comedy cast was an actor who who’d done several musicals, and who has recently been in a hit TV show (and still is, I think). Also in the cast of the hit comedy were two actors who went onto star in two hit TV comedy series. Also in the hit comedy was an actor who would soon star in a classic seventies comedy. The star of the notorious flop musical also went on to star in one of the most beloved TV series ever. Isn’t this convoluted? Of course, knowing you dear readers, you’ll come up with several different things that will work. In any case:
Name the playwright and his hit comedy and flop musical.
Name the actor who’d done several musicals, and who is now (I believe) still in a hit TV series.
Name the two actors who would go on to star in two hit comedy series, and name the series.
Name the actor who would go on to star in a classic seventies comedy.
Name the star of the notorious flop musical and name the beloved TV series they starred in.
Remember – DO NOT POST YOUR ANSWERS ON THE SITE. Send them to me via e-mail at bruce@haineshisway.com or simply use the unseemly Ask BK Button located on our fancy-shmancy home page. I think I still have two count them two sparkling prizes to ship (it’s been impossible to get to the post office, but I shall, I promise). Good luck to one and all and also all and one.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do (which, in the case of this weekend, isn’t much), I must do errands and shop and relax and write. I must eat according to Eileen and Chet Atkins and I must catch up on my CDs and DVDs. Today’s topic of discussion: Tell me your favorite things to do when you were a kid – favorite games to play, favorite TV shows to watch, favorite places to go. Those who’ve read my novel know most of mine, so, your turn. And please, let’s not have the usual Saturday fall-off, it is just too too unseemly. Let us all post until the cows come home, shall we?