Well, dear readers, I have survived my visit to the throat doctor. Normally, those visits go very quickly, but today’s took quite a long time because the doctor couldn’t get his mirror nearer to my larynx because I am, apparently, a gagger, so he had to give me what in essence was a colonoscopy but instead of going in through the butt cheeks he snakes in through the nose. I think you can all imagine how happy I was sitting there, first having my throat sprayed twice with some foul burning stuff that turned my throat feel as if it had a golf ball in it, not to mention made me really want to gag, and second having a video snake stuck up my nose, and then all the way down into my throat. I would like you all to take a moment and imagine the thrill of having a video snake stuck up your nose and then shoved (carefully) down into your throat. At any rate, he didn’t find anything untoward except some minor swelling, so that was good news. There were no nodes and let me tell you, no nodes is good nodes. He then had the nurse give me a shot. She chose my right buttock in which to give me the shot. I must say, had it not been for the lingering bad taste and stinging sensation from that spray, I would have felt much better than I actually did. That stinging sensation lasted well into the night. He said I could still take Actifed for the allergies, and he said it was fine to drink EmergenC or anything else soothing. I shall go back on Thursday for one more shot (presumably in my left butt cheek) and then, hopefully, with your excellent vibes and xylophones, I shall be in tip-top condition for our Guy Haines sessions. Yes, not only does Mr. Haines need to be in tip-top condition, so do I, otherwise he shall not get the benefit of my full abilities, and believe me, he needs to get the benefit of my full abilities. He, of course, has been having his own throat problems, but he’s taking care of himself. And remember, no nodes is good nodes.
Since I wasn’t in the mood to work and since I didn’t take any calls yesterday, I managed to watch three count them three motion picture entertainments on DVD. The first motion picture entertainment was entitled The Bravados. The Bravados, I must say, is a strangely dark western, especially in light of its final revelation. Fox really liked these off-beat westerns – next to the Anthony Mann/Jimmy Stewart westerns, they are the darkest and strangest in a way. Gregory Peck rides into a small town to witness the hanging of the four desperados who he’s been told had raped and killed his wife. The desperados escape just before the hanging, and Peck goes on a one-man rampage to track them down, which he does, one-by-one. It’s very watchable, with many fine scenes. Peck is great, and the supporting cast of Stephen Boyd, Henry Silva, Albert Salmi, and Lee Van Cleef as the desperados, is terrific, too. There is an interesting unbilled performance by Joe De Rita, just before he joined up with the Three Stooges and became Curly Joe De Rita. It’s an important one-scene role that gets a lot of screen time. How could he not have billing? Beautiful Cinemascope photography and stereo sound, and a great transfer. My only quibble was the set for the interior of the small-town church. On the outside, it looks like a normal small-town building, but on the inside it resembles the Vatican – it’s huge, with tall ceilings and big painted windows and endless pews, with a fifty member children’s choir singing perfectly. I’m sure they had the set left over from another film, but it’s laughably out-of-place. Then I watched a motion picture entitled Warlock, which was not about a Warlock but about a town in the old west called Warlock. It’s another strange, moody, dark western, this time from Broken Lance’s Edward Dmytryk, who was a fine director. Again, you just can’t beat these casts – Henry Fonda, Anthony Quinn, Richard Widmark, and every character actor in Hollywood, including the great Whit Bissell and Don Beddoe. You even have Frank Gorshin as a bad guy. Yes, unbilled. What is it with Fox and these unbilled actors who have substantial and important roles? Where on earth was the Screen Actors Guild? You’ve also got the lovely Dorothy Malone, another good score by Leigh Harline, and it all adds up to some solid-if-a-bit-overlong entertainment. The transfer is not quite as colorful or sharp as Broken Lance and The Bravados, but it’s still quite good. I then watched the third motion picture entertainment on DVD, Buffalo Bill. It’s kind of a mess, but it’s a fun mess, with good direction by the always-dependable William Wellman, and terrific performances by the great Joel McCrea, Maureen O’Hara, a breathtakingly beautiful Linda Darnell, Thomas Mitchell, Anthony Quinn and a host of others. The film never quite knows what it wants to be, veering from big action scenes, to romance, to soap opera, to bathos, to political intrigue, to old-fashioned hucksterism, but somehow it’s all quite entertaining, especially because it’s a crisp eighty-nine minutes. The transfer presents the early Technicolor colors vividly and sharply, but the source material is quite grainy at times.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below whilst we remember that no nodes is good nodes.
My goodness, that was a long first section of notes, wasn’t it? I’ve sort of used up everything I had to say. I hate when that happens. I can’t remember if I have anything to do today. If I do, I may cancel it and just stay home and write and rest. I’m out of bottled water, so I need to do some shopping, too.
Perhaps we should all take a moment and imagine what it feels like to have a video snake up your nose and all the way down into your throat. See? You think I don’t know that some of you didn’t do your imagining before? I can see everything. I am the all-knowing, all-seeing BK.
I must also attend to booking my flight to New York, although I don’t want to do it until I see how the sessions go on Monday and Tuesday. I must also attend to writing a guest review of the Li’l Abner DVD for Scarlet Street. I must also send a little proposal off to the York of New. Not a marriage proposal, mind you, no a different sort of proposal.
Now, wait just a darned minute. I know we all just took them off, but I’m afraid we have to put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, we have to break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, we have to dance the Hora and the Canadian jerk, because we’ve got us another haineshisway.com birthday person – this time, dear reader Jennifer of Canada. So, let’s send a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to dear reader Jennifer. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO DEAR READER JENNIFER OF CANADA!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write, I must relax, I must drink EmergenC and take Actifed, I must do some errands and pick up some packages, and I’m hopeful that I might even do a tiny bit of vocalizing, so that I can run the sessions in the way that I need to. I frequently have to show Mr. Haines exactly how to sing certain phrases, therefore I, too, must be in perfectly perfect voice. Today’s topic of discussion: I think we’ll have Ye Olde Repeat of one of my favorite food topics. We haven’t had a food topic in ages, because basically we’ve exhausted them all. So, today will be a Food’s Greatest Hits day – what are your favorite Mexican dishes (and I don’t mean Katy Jurado or Dolores Del Rio)? Please describe them in lovingly loving detail, won’t you, and share any recipes you’d like to. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we? And remember, no nodes is good nodes.