Well, dear readers, wasn’t I just saying that another week has zoomed by? And yet, here I am, saying it again. Not only another week, but another month, for soon April will be a thing of the past, this year-wise. Oh, well, time flies when you’re having fun and we’re all having fun, thus time flies. These are profoundly profound things I speak of today, dear readers, this time zooming by so fast we can barely keep track of what month it is. Frankly, I wish time would slow up a little bit and stop and smell the coffee or the roses or the hyacinths or the wood shavings. But no, time marches on and all we can do is but watch. We can but watch as time zooms by like a gazelle in Speedos. Speaking of Speedos, yesterday was a day. My goodness, that was profoundly profound, wasn’t it? Yesterday was a day. The depth of that profundity moves me completely. In fact, it moved me three feet to the left, which, I suppose, is better than three hands to the right. If anyone has a clew as to what the HELL I’m going on about, they should please keep it to themselves. I wrote some pages, I lunched with our very own Miss Tammy Minoff and her very own good friend and new Los Angelesian, Lauren. Since Lauren sings, both she and Tammy will be attending the Guy Haines vocal sessions on Tuesday, to sing some backup vocals. I have to book one more female and then three males to compliment them. For example, the three males can say things like, “You three females are hot babes.” That’s a nice compliment, isn’t it? I did quite a few errands, and did a bit of vocalizing as well. I still don’t feel the voice box is up to par, but after today’s shot I’m hoping it will be in the next day or two. Meanwhile, Vinnie and Grant got nine of the fifteen songs into Pro Tools and will do the rest on Friday. Then we have our horn date on Saturday. And so, I know many of you have been waiting with bated breath or even baited breath as to what will be on the new album, but you’ll have to wait until the next section because I can’t give everything away in this section, can I?
Last night I watched one and a half motion pictures on DVD. The one motion picture on DVD was entitled Johnny Guitar, a supremely strange western directed by Mr. Nicholas Ray. There is no real way to describe Johnny Guitar, it simply must be seen to be believed. It is chockfull of quotable dialogue and weird sexual innuendo. Miss Joan Crawford plays Vienna, and Mr. Sterling Hayden plays the titular Johnny Guitar. And then there is the indescribable performance of Miss Mercedes McCambridge. This is a region 2 DVD, so I can’t tell you to run out and get it, but if you have a chance to catch it on cable or see a VHS, I’m telling you, you’ve never seen anything like it, whether you end up a convert or not. The transfer is acceptable. The film was shot in Trucolor, and that is replicated fairly well on the DVD, but the whole affair is a little less sharp than one would want. I then watched the first two episodes of the very long omnibus film, Boccaccio 70. When this film was released here in the United States of America, it was shorn of its first episode, directed by Mario Monicelli of Big Deal on Madonna Street fame. The uncut Boccaccio 70 presented here for the first time, runs 208 minutes. One can understand the producers getting rid of Monicelli’s forty-five minute segment because no one was going to be sitting for 208 minutes in this country. Even just the three episodes which were left came close to three hours. It was lovely to finally see the Monicelli film, which is simply a simple slice-of-life comedy about two newlyweds. It gets things off to a rather slow start, but it has its charms. However, it’s the second episode that makes Boccaccio 70 a near classic. That episode, The Temptation of Dr. Antonio, is directed by Mr. Federico Fellini, and is filled with his trademark visual style. It came between La Dolce Vita and 8 ½, and was his first color film. From the first shot there is no mistaking whose film your watching. It’s quite a manic affair about a prissy little man who feels he is his community’s watchdog for matters of prurient interest. He visits lovers lanes and has them shut down. He tears up cheesecake magazines at the newsstand. So, imagine his dismay when a huge billboard is put up across from his residence, featuring a reclining Anita Ekberg holding a glass of milk near her humungous cleavage, while a playback machine plays a commercial jingle that repeatedly implores us to Drink More Milk. It’s a delightfully wacky piece of filmmaking and it’s fairly breathtaking to watch. The remaining segments, which I’ll get to tomorrow, are directed by Luchino Visconti and Vittorio de Sica. Transfer is pretty darned good, and it’s anamorphically enhanced 1:66.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below so we can finally see what songs will be on Mr. Guy Haines’ new album and what the title of the album will be.
And so, it is finally time to reveal the title of Mr. Haines’ new album, along with the song selections. That way, if any smart aleck decides to run into the studio between now and July trying to rip us off, we’ll all know it and we can deride whomever would be so foolish to try – and deride him or her mercilessly. The album is entitled New Guy in Town. The song selections (not in album order, of course) are as follows:
On Your Toes (Rodgers and Hart)
Second Avenue (Tim Moore)
I’m Past My Prime (Gene de Paul and Johnny Mercer) duet with Jessica Rush
Love, Look Away (Rodgers and Hammerstein)
Sail Away (Noel Coward)
Born Too Late (Bruce Kimmel)
Getting Away With You (Jonathan Goldman)
Little Red Hat (Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt) duet with Juliana A. Hansen)
Millions of Men (Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt)
The Faraway Part of Town (Andre Previn and Dory Langdon)
Sure Thing (Jerome Kern and Ira Gershwin) duet with Kerry Butler
I’ll Take You Dreaming (Sylvia Fine and Sammy Cahn)
They Don’t Give Medals (to Yesterday’s Heroes) (Burt Bacharach and Hal David)
Point of No Return (Gerry Goffin and Carol King)
Cowboy Waltz (Craig Carnelia)
Isn’t that eclectic? If you have any questions about any of it, feel free to ask them. So, there you have it.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must get a shot in my left butt cheek, I must write, I must meet briefly with Mr. Kevin Spirtas, I must relax, I must think of some profoundly profound things, and I must pick up some packages. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your most favorite quotable lines from classic plays from any era? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, as time marches on in its profoundly profound and annoying way.