Well, dear readers, as promised, here is The Curious Case of the Never-ending Book. Once upon a time, some five years ago, the publisher of a very good genre magazine announced to the world at large that he was completing work on his dream project, a major coffee table book about film director Mario Bava. That was very good news for Bava’s legion of fans. At that point, the publisher was soliciting pre-orders for the book, which he said would be forthcoming several months later. There was a special pre-publication price and those who pre-ordered, the publisher said, would be included in the thank yous. I, myself, did not preorder at that time, but I had several friends who did. Flash forward to several months later: The book isn’t quite ready. Disappointment, of course, but sometimes that sort of thing happens. Flash forward to one year later: Still taking pre-orders, but the book has become larger and better than the author had thought, so it was going to take longer than anticipated, so everyone was asked to please be patient – the result would be well worth it. Flash forward to two years later (year three): The book is still nowhere near being finished. Preorders are still being taken. Patience is asked of one and all. Flash forward to one year later (year four): They are now laying out the voluminous stills – this has proven more time consuming than they thought. But it will be well worth the wait. Preorders are still being taken. Publication dates come and go like a gazelle on a merry-go-round. Flash forward to 2005, five years later. The author and publisher has missed the December release date of 2004 (and the September release date of 2004, and the July release date of 2004). Things are just taking longer than anticipated. Preorders are still being taken. The author brags that he’s taken close to 1,000 preorders for the book. At $97 a pop, that means this guy has been sitting on close to 100K of people’s dough for years. Even I had preordered the book in 2004 with the real promise the end was in sight. Yes, Virginia, you heard that right – sitting on 100K of people’s dough, and earning interest to boot. Flash forward to April, 2005: He is finally happy and proud to announce that a firm, set-in-stone shipping date has been set, and that nothing can change. That date is September 12, 2005. There was much joy in Mudville. I publicly and privately said that while I hoped it was true, that I would believe it when the book was in my hands. Flash forward to three days ago: An update about the book is posted. It’s coming along quite nicely, but there has been a delay because his printer decided they can’t handle the job, and he now has to find a new printer. Plus, the book isn’t finished yet – the index has proven to be much more time-consuming than they’d thought. None of this makes any sense, of course – he’s squarely placing the blame for the delay on the printer. However, even if the printer hadn’t pulled out, even if he’d found a new printer, what difference does it make? The book, in his words, is not finished. There is no projected shipping date, or any projected finish date. And why are we getting this tale as if he just found out about it? He had to have known months ago that the book would not be finished. And the printer just couldn’t have called him out of the blue, a week before shipping date to say they couldn’t handle the job. In other words, we are being lied to by an arrogant, ego-ridden, out-of-control person, who has, for the last five years, treated his customers with both blatant and casual disregard. With this latest, he has basically spit in their faces. There are some of us who believe this book will be his Waterloo – that he will never finish it and it will never come out. I will be requesting a refund, and/or looking into more legal avenues – for surely it cannot be legal to accept 100K of people’s money and then ask them to wait six years before delivering a product – IF the product is ever delivered. Certainly it is morally repugnant and ethically reprehensible. Certainly, the gentleman in question has had time to publish a monthly magazine, write a novel, and make long posts to various chat boards day and night – some of us think he should have stopped everything and delivered the book, at any and all costs. To draw a parallel – it would be like me saying I was putting the finishing touches on Benjamin Kritzer, and soliciting preorders, saying the book would be out in a few months. And if there was a delay, I think people would be okay. I think if there was a second delay, people would have the right to get annoyed. If there was a five year delay and still no sight of the book coming out, I think people would have the right to string me up by my thumbs and leave me to rot. And sure, I could say, well this part is taking longer than I thought, or gee I had to change printers. Same with a CD – I’m currently soliciting preorders for two titles. I’m petrified I won’t have them exactly in time to get them shipped a full two weeks before street date. I think I will, but if something went wrong, I would immediately say exactly what it is and believe me the problem would be taken care of and the discs would still ship prior to street date. And, if something really went wrong and I had to delay the title for a month or two, I would return every cent and have the title resolicited when it was ready. Will we get the Bava book in December? No. Will we get it in January? No. Will we be hearing some new excuse, some new shipping date which will go unmet? Yes. Would the right and moral thing be to return everyone’s hundred bucks? Yes. Will that be happening? Perhaps on the 12th. Of Never. Does this person deserve to be bitch-slapped from here to eternity and hell and back? I’d be interested in hearing any and all opinions on this matter. And there you have The Curious Case of the Never-ending Book. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Last night I had a lovelier than lovely supper with my pals the Jones’s. I gave Margaret, my one and only muse, my short stories – I’ll be quite anxious to hear her reactions. And, I’m told that I’ll have the first review of Rewind in the next few days. Of course, you will be the first to read it.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, because I’ve got places to go, things to do, people to see, not necessarily in that order.
I had quite a busy day yesterday, doing all manner of things. I had to deal with matters Kritzerland, I had to meet with Miss Tammy Minoff, I had to meet with Mr. Grant Geissman, I had to do various and sundried errands, and I even began a new short story. This is an idea I had a couple of months ago, and I’d even written the title on my bedside pad. The idea has turned into something much more substantial and fun than I’d originally imagined, and I changed two words of the title to make that work better. I’m going to have a blast doing this one. I’ll spend a few days letting the atmosphere of the period (1959) seep into my bones, although I’ve already written the first two paragraphs to establish the character, the time, and the place.
Now, wait just a darned minute – let’s hold our various and sundried horses for just a darned minute. I do believe we’d all better put on two pointy party hats and two pairs of colored tights and pantaloons, we’d all better break out double portions of cheese slices and ham chunks, we’d all better dance the Hora twice, as well as the Mashed Potato and the Fox Trot, because we’ve got us a double birthday celebration here at haineshisway.com. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, it’s two, two, two birthdays in one. So, let’s give a double haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our two birthday boys, dear readers Jose and Jrand. On the count of three: One, two, three – A DOUBLE HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR TWO BIRTHDAY BOYS, DEAR READERS JOSE AND JRAND!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example write, I must let the year 1959 seep into my bones, I must do errands and pick up packages, I must attend a meeting at the El Portal Theater, I must visit with the recently returned Miss Juliana A. Hansen, and I must sup with Mr. Terry Trotter and his girlfriend. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday – what is currently in your CD player, and your DVD/video player? I’ll start – CD, a superb import six CD set of Tony Hatch albums, each album encased in a mini LP sleeve. Also playing, the new CD release of the original soundtrack to The Time Machine, by Russ Garcia, which I’m loving. DVD, currently watching the new DVD of The Killing of Sister George. After that, it’s Bedazzled, with Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, and then on to the Astaire/Rogers box set. Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, and don’t forget to share your thoughts on The Curious Case of the Never-ending Book.