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February 28, 2007:

THE TRUISM

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, can you believe it? I can barely believe it myself, and yet I must believe it for it is true and what is true is true which, of course, is a truism. And just what is true? Well, I’ll tell you what is true because why should I withhold such things from you dear readers? What is true (and hence, a truism) is that it is the final day of February. We always say it, but where in tarnation did this month go? Of course, February is at least two to three days shorter than every other month, which, frankly, is most annoying of February. And here is something else that is true – tomorrow we will welcome in March with open arms. We will march to the tune of March, like a gazelle twirling a baton whilst doing the splits on a spring day in Boca Raton. March – the month with Ides. And hopefully a month that will bring forth many riches and good things for one and all and also all and one and me included. I know if we send excellent vibes and xylophones to ourselves, they might just work and produce all of the above. February was a month in which we broke just about every haineshisway.com record that could be broken. First off, it was our highest posting month ever, amazing given the shortness of the month. We also had our biggest posting day ever, with in excess of 2000 posts. Speaking of 2000 posts, yesterday was a day that was a day, which, of course, is a truism. Is there such a thing as a falseism? Where was I? Oh, yes, yesterday. After I arose, I did the usual morning things, and I also packaged up some orders and shipped them. I also did a handful of errands, and I also wrote a handful of pages after doing touchups on what I wrote yesterday. Then the David Shire At The Movies CD went “live” and we got some nice orders coming in, with hopefully more coming in soon. And the “review” function on the Brain From Planet X amazon page appeared and several of our dear readers were kind enough to offer their Brain thoughts, which we were most appreciative of. I had an early supper, made some telephonic calls, and then finally sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched a motion picture on DVD entitled Man Of The Year. Now, I’d seen a trailer for the film, and it had a few lines in it that actually made me laugh. I’m smart enough to know that movies today tend to put all the laughs in the trailer, so I wasn’t really holding out much hope beyond those few laughs. And, I must say, the ad art (Robin Williams in the George Washington wig) was completely unappealing and a terrible ad campaign. But, the back of the DVD box promised a hilarious comedy filled with hilarious performances. Well, whichever genius decided to sell the film in this way has hopefully lost his job and been drummed out of the business. The film flopped – despite the printed grosses on the imdb, it probably did half of that total, which was not too good to begin with. Why? Because, simply put, Man Of The Year is basically not a comedy at all. If it’s anything, it’s a film with a few good political jokes, about a comic who runs for President and wins. About fifteen minutes into the film, the film, in fact, becomes completely schizophrenic – on the one hand you’ve got the story of the comic and his winning the Presidency, and then, suddenly, on the other hand you’ve got a political thriller, and not a funny one. Apparently, Mr. Barry Levinson couldn’t figure out which film he was making, and even if he wanted to make a political thriller which had this element of humor, any chance he had was undone by the Neanderthals who decreed that it should strictly be sold as a Robin Williams comedy. It doesn’t succeed as comedy (since, in essence, it isn’t one) and it doesn’t succeed as political thriller (since the Robin Williams bit are lighthearted). When justice prevails, the bad guys, who have really been bad and caused our heroine (Laura Linney) some real grief, are dismissed in one half-assed shot that suddenly tries to be funny. That smacked of post production interference and reshoots, frankly. There was probably a decent movie in there somewhere if only someone had figured out which way to go with it. The transfer, I’m sure, is faithful to the look of the film, but the look of the film is incredibly ugly – yellow (what is it with cameramen today and this incessant habit of pulling all the blue out of color films), soft, and just really not attractive at all.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because, after all, it’s the final day of February, and a truer word was never spoken and, as we all know, true is true and that is a truism.

Today, I must attend a little function this morning at the Music Center, then I shall be returning to the home environment to write a few pages, pick up a package or three, and wait to hear whether Mr. Donald Feltham is feeling well enough to do the radio show. He came down with a little bug yesterday. I believe the bug was a gnat.

Tomorrow, I have the day to myself and I intend to use it for writing, and then I have a dinner meeting, about which I’ll have more to say depending on which way it goes.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the thing I do, I must, for example, write, attend a function, drive about in my motor car, eat reasonable foodstuffs, and watch a DVD or three. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like, so let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings and let’s send out February with a bang and a whiz and a parade.

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