Well, dear readers, it is November 9. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, it is November 9 and do you know what that means? I do and I shall tell you what that means because why should I withhold such things from dear readers such as yourselves. What that means is, in fact, rather momentous – with today’s notes we begin our TENTH year of doing these here notes. Let me just say that again – we begin our TENTH year of these here notes. And in all those years I have never missed a day of writing these here notes. And I believe that makes this the longest-running daily blog (not that I’ve ever called it that) in the history of the Internet. Yes, people were blogging long before I, but no one has ever been able to show me anyone who has done it without missing a day for this number of years – in fact, I’d say no one has even come close. I did find one amusing post from someone bragging that they thought they could be in the Guiness Book of World Records because they began blogging in 2006 and had done over four hundred blogs. It is to laugh. If we just do simple math for notes every day for nine complete years, that is 3,285 entries. Can you imagine? If we say that I do an average of three pages a day (I frequently do more) that would be close to 10,000 pages. It really boggles the mind that I could churn out that much drivel, but boy has it been fun, and I hope it will continue to be fun for at least another ten years. I’ve explained why this site was created – it was created so that I could have a place to combat the lies that were being spread about me by a certain record label. It was a bad, bad time and I had to take swift action. Mr. Mark Bakalor designed the site in record time. Donald Feltham came on board immediately to do his fabulous radio show. We tested it thoroughly for days, and then, on November 9, 2001, we finally went live. And here is what dear readers saw that day (I’ve also included the comments that followed – this was long before the current version of our discussion board, where the posts used to follow the notes:
First, a message from Guy Haines:
When my hordes of eight fans said I should have my own website I thought, what a fine idea. After all, everyone needs their own website. Mark Bakalor came on board to design it and I feel he’s done a fine job. But, then he said I had to contribute. Well, I simply can’t contribute. I’m much too busy with tennis and my full time occupation of having no life.
I have asked my close personal friend, Mr. Bruce Kimmel, if he wouldn’t mind writing a daily journal for the site. He was gracious enough to consent, although he did ask for a year’s supply of Red Vines. I told him he could write about anything he wanted to as long as it wasn’t about me. I want this to be the only performer website where there is absolutely nothing written about the performer. Isn’t that unique?
Mark is managing to come up with some candid photos of me, and even some of my family. In addition to reading Bruce’s daily dose of drivel, soon I’m told, you’ll be able to check out some of the other little nooks and crannies. You never know what you might find.
Sincerely,
Guy Haines
Bruce’s first entry:
Well, hello dear readers, and welcome to Haines His Way, the official website for my friend Guy Haines. Do you know that if you hit the wrong letter when you type Guy Haines you get Buy Haines? Just asking. I am very flattered indeed to have been asked to keep a daily journal here on the Guy Haines website. I used to have weekly notes elsewhere, but those notes disappeared into the ether, hence we now have new notes, or bk’s notes II, the sequel. So, now I shall have daily notes right here at Haineshisway.com. Well, perhaps not daily notes, perhaps every other day notes, or bi-weekly notes, or whatever suits my fancy.
Oh, it is a time of sweeping change, dear readers. For example, I just emptied all the coins out of my pocket and swept them. I love sweeping change and I recommend it to everyone with a preponderance of coins.
As you all are probably aware, there have been many events happening in my life. I’m not quite prepared to talk about them, however. Not quite yet. So, for now, I’d like to review one of my favorite movies, which has a wonderful special edition on DVD. Here is my review of Jaws.
Jaws is an excellent motion picture. It is about sharks. I hate sharks and this film teaches us that they can come from nowhere and bite you in your butt cheeks. Sharks are merciless creatures, eating machines, and you must avoid them at all costs, or so the movie would lead you to believe. Sharks are out for blood. There is really no reason for it, Robert Shaw says, it’s just in their nature. However, we learn by the end of the film that even though sharks attack over and over, you can survive by blowing them up. This is exactly what Richard Dreyfuss and Roy Scheider do in Jaws, which, by the way, is about sharks. Steven Spielberg directed Jaws quite brilliantly – he really gets you to thinking how scary sharks are. Interestingly, the mechanical shark used in the making of the film was named Bruce. Mechanical sharks are not as scary as real sharks. A real shark would never be named Bruce. Perhaps we should have a contest and you readers could submit names you think would be good names for sharks. A must-see film, I rate it four stars (out of four stars). Next time I’ll be reviewing another great film: Alfred Hitchcock’s The Man Who Knew Too Much, which has one of my favorite Hitchcockian scenes in it – the one in the bazaar where the guy gets stabbed in the back. I love that scene.
Why am I reviewing movies, for heaven’s sake? Shouldn’t I be writing about Guy Haines? Oh, that’s right, I can’t. He doesn’t want me to write about him. He bribed me with a year’s worth of Red Vines not to write about him. I accepted of course.
Last Monday, I attended a CD release party for my friend Adryan Russ. I produced a CD for her, Everyone Has a Story, featuring her songs interpreted by some pretty amazing folks, including Tami Tappan, Susan Egan, Jason Graae, Barbara Deutsch, Lisa Richard, David Burnham, Karen Benjamin, Suzanne Blakeslee, Michelle Nicastro, Joan Ryan, Adryan herself, Sharon McKnight, Juliana A. Hansen and yes, Guy Haines. It’s available on the LML label. We had lovely cheese slices and fatty meats and a good time was had by all.
That’s it for now. I shall have to think about what to write for next time. I’ve never really done a daily journal before (or blog) so I must do some research into blogs, because one simply can’t write a blog if one doesn’t know what the hell a blog is. I do know that I will be giving frequent updates as to my whereabouts and my whenabouts. Sometimes I may even talk about my thereabouts or thenabouts. You will get all the latest news right here at Haineshisway.com. Check back often. We love getting your comments and questions, so remember to leave them for me below each and every entry!
Replies: 24 Unseemly Comments
So glad you’re back, Bruce and Guy!
-catherine
Posted by catherine @ 11/10/2001 10:51 AM PST
There IS a Theatre God…and he is smiling down on all of us! Guy (and Bruce) are back, and we are all ever so much happier for that!
All the best to “y’all”, and may you never have to leave us again! 🙂
Posted by Edward R. Cox @ 11/10/2001 01:57 PM PST
Hooray, hallelujah, huzzah, and other assorted jubilant H-words for Guy and Bruce’s return to the internet! Congratulations on the new website, and I am looking forward to frequent visits to the Kings of Musical Theatre!
Posted by Vatican Lokey @ 11/10/2001 02:03 PM PST
So, where’s the link for the Broadway Radio Hour?
Posted by Donald Feltham @ 11/10/2001 04:13 PM PST
Patience. All in due time. 🙂
Posted by Mr. Mark Bakalor @ 11/10/2001 04:27 PM PST
I knew you wouldn’t stay away for long.
Posted by Joseph @ 11/10/2001 06:37 PM PST
It’s great to have you back Bruce. Best of luck to you and I hope other creative endeavors will surface soon. I forgot to mention Guy…but he doesn’t want to be mentioned on this website anyway:). It’s nice to have him back also.
Posted by Dennis Clancy @ 11/10/2001 09:03 PM PST
Happy landings, Bruce. I saw Sally Mayes perform tonight at Arci’s Place in NYC and a couple of us were talking about how great she sounds on those 110 in the Shade tracks, for which we have you to thank. Hope you’re back up and running in full glory soon. So many possiblities…
Posted by Greg @ 11/10/2001 11:02 PM PST
Thank you, thank you, thank you all for your loverly comments! Check back often because we’ve got some cool things up our sleeve and even some potential projects waiting in the wings. More at the beginning of the week.
bk
Posted by Bruce Kimmel @ 11/10/2001 11:24 PM PST
Welcome back and we look forward to some new Sondheim work from you!
Lynne and all at The Stephen Sondheim Society
Posted by Lynne @ 11/11/2001 12:01 AM PST
Hurrah!!
But what the heck are RED VINES?
Posted by David @ 11/11/2001 04:21 AM PST
Welcome back, Bruce. Loved the “movie reviews”. Another one for your consideration is the fifties classic “Executive Suite.”
Looking forward to all your future endeavors.
Posted by Ted Naron @ 11/11/2001 06:25 AM PST
I’m bookmarking BK’s Notes for my (hopefully) daily fix. Glad to have you back.
Posted by Robert Armin @ 11/11/2001 08:41 AM PST
Didn’t we meet on the train??????
Posted by Jason Graae @ 11/11/2001 11:48 AM PST
Welcome back. What’s happening with the unreleased CDs like DO I HEAR A WALTZ, IM”GETTING MY ACT TOGETHER, the Barret/Lerner etc.?
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 11/11/2001 03:14 PM PST
I clamored out of the pit of despair upon hearing of your return…Thank heavens!
Posted by Stacie Joi Perlman @ 11/11/2001 06:07 PM PST
Shapoopie for you, Bruce. We all adore you.
Posted by Rebecca @ 11/11/2001 07:06 PM PST
You forgot to mention the yummy fatty desserts at the Adryan Russ release party, and how Guy Haines beautifully sang “The Gift” accompanied by the song’s composer, Brad Ellis.
SM
Posted by The Smog Monstress @ 11/11/2001 09:55 PM PST
What? Finswyrth ally? What’s that?
Posted by Ryan @ 11/11/2001 10:31 PM PST
Glad you’ve resurfaced (that sounds like you’re a highway–well, you have taken the high road). In case Guy doesn’t read these notes, Bruce, would you tell him how much I like his album; I smile when I listen and not too many albums make me do that.
Here’s to many more smiles….for all of us.
Posted by George Connolly @ 11/12/2001 04:29 AM PST
It’s so nice to have you back where you belong… on the web. Whenever you are able to start releasing those fabulous CDs of yours, my MasterCard is ready.
Hugs and kisses ……
Posted by Phil Crosby @ 11/12/2001 06:33 AM PST
Welcome back, Bruce! Can’t wait for the next project.
James
Posted by James Kaufman @ 11/12/2001 07:37 AM PST
Hello Brucie…Hello Brucie…
Back where you belong!!!
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 11/12/2001 09:02 AM PST
And there was rejoicing in the land… glad to hear that Guy and Bruce have a voice again (actually, Guy has the voice… have you every heard Bruce try to sing? *shudder*).
Welcome back!
Posted by Elan @ 11/13/2001 08:32 AM PST
And we were off and running. I did not write notes that weekend, but resumed on Monday. But from that Monday forward, I never missed a day. That first week the “Well, dear readers” intro was erratic – but by entry four or five that became the opening to every set of notes from then on. At the end of the first section of notes the original button said “Read More” and then you clicked on it. I began calling that the Unseemly Button right away and then Mr. Bakalor renamed it. As we went along, people found us very quickly and the traffic and stats were extraordinary right from the get-go and even the go-get. People just found us and joined our merry troupe. Along the way, people have made really close friendships, have had many get-togethers, and very quickly we became a real community, the likes of which just doesn’t really exist anywhere else on all the Internet. We’ve seen people through deaths, illnesses, and all sorts of things – we created our patented excellent vibes and xylophones, which are amazingly potent. We’ve developed wonderful catchphrases and running gags. At some point at the beginning we began our topic of the day. And a couple of years in I began the word of the day. And, of course, like any family, we’ve had a few moments of drama. People come, people go, like Grand Hotel, and I always regret the departures and feel most of them shouldn’t have happened. There’s no real reason to go into why people left – they just did and maybe someday they’ll come back – they are always welcome here. Since the beginning of this site, I have written ten books, written and directed several shows, worked on a few reality TV shows, directed people’s acts, and began a new record label that has sort of come into its own in the last couple of years. I think without this site none of it would have happened, and I really mean that. When the bad business happened, I had two ways to go and I chose the right way. This site, despite the occasional hiccup, had brought me so much pleasure – just reading the posts every day and meeting really warm, wonderful, real people. This site would, in fact, be dreary without all its wonderful, wacky denizens – dear readers and lurkers – it’s you dear readers that make this the completely unique jernt it is. So, happy anniversary to all of us and I do feel that soon we will be the most popular site on all the Internet.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below so we can continue the festivities as we begin our TENTH year.
Yesterday was quite an okay day. We had the listening session with the composer for the new cast album we’ll be putting out – he was very happy with what he heard and only had some little nitpicky notes, most of which we did – I talked him out of a couple of things that I felt were being hit too hard, and I made one suggestion to lose the opening line of dialogue that began the first track – the way they had it it started with the word “And” and it was like coming in the mid-sentence or thought – by deleting it, we actually begin with five seconds of straight music, then we hear dialogue come in in a very natural way – it works much better. After that, I went to my tape transfer guy and we listened to a few things and I pretty much decided what next week’s release is going to be. We have to work really fast now, and it’s going to be extra crazy as I’m out of town for two days, but I’ll have my laptop with me, so hopefully we can barrel through – the only thing that might happen is that we announce a day or two later than we usually do. And I’ll probably announce the cast album on the same day, since that will also be ready. We shall see. After that, I came back to the San Fernando Valley, had a Subway spicy Eyetalian sandwich, and was dismayed that the important envelope STILL hasn’t shown up. It had better show up today, that’s all I can say. I then came home, listened to some music I had to listen to, answered e-mails, had a long telephonic conversation with my mastering engineer, and then toddled off to see Hello Again at the Alex Theater. They did a very nice job with it – excellent cast, and only ninety minutes sans intermission. I saw lots of folks I know and it was a nice evening.
Today, I have a work session with Linda Purl and Greg Harrison, then I will hopefully pick up the important envelope, and then do errands and whatnot. I will eat very lightly. Wednesday morning is Michelle Nicastro’s funeral – I actually haven’t received any sort of invitation to attend, which I find very odd and a little sad. I’ve had friends send me the information and address and time but I’m not sure how comfortable I am just showing up, although I’ve been assured by several people that it will be fine. So, I’ll decide today. But I also have some work to do with the helper and I have to get ready for the trip on Friday. I haven’t even booked a ride to the airport yet. Packing is easy, of course, and for once I’m not leaving at six in the morning – I have a noon flight.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, have a work session, I must hopefully pick up the important envelope and some packages (I had none yesterday), and I must do errands and whatnot and get music and CDs to performers. Today’s topic of discussion: How did you find us, when did you join our merry troupe and what are your favorite haineshisway.com memories. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, as we lift a glass to our next ten years of merriment and mirth and laughter and legs – it’s been a great first ten thanks to you dear readers.