Well, dear readers, I am sitting here like so much fish, listening to the Shostakovich first symphony, Herbert von Karajan conducting in excellent sound. One simply must have a little Shostakovich every now and then, mustn’t one? His first symphony is a fine piece of work – dramatic, haunting, rich in its orchestration. Prior to that I managed to watch two count them two perfectly dreadful motion pictures, one predictably dreadful, the other exceeding all dreadful expectations, and maybe one of a handful of motion pictures with a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The first motion picture was entitled A Mother’s Revenge, although there’s no real revenge in the film and its original title is still listed on the imdb – Accidental Switch, meaning a woman picks up the wrong bag at the airport because it’s identical to hers. What follows is nothing worth talking about, really, other than to say if a film begins with A Mar Vista Production, run for the hills. These are all Lifetime “suspense” thrillers, without an iota of suspense or thrills. That fact that anyone with a functioning brain could read a script such as this film had and do anything but toss it in the trash is proof enough just how low everything has sunk. And then, not only do they read it, they greenlight it. And then hire a director, Fred Olen Ray, certainly prolific with over 160 film credits, the man who makes movies like The Brain Leeches (budget $298.00), Scalps, Beverly Hills Vamp, Attack of the Sixty-Foot Centerfold, well, yes. Somehow, he convinced someone at Lifetime he should direct this. Go know. And the irony is that technically it’s not bad and it looks good. What becomes instantly clear is that he hasn’t a clew about actors or how to cast and direct them – every performance in this stinker is terrible, especially the leading lady and the two gentlemen who play police detectives. Of course, they’re saddled with a hugely awful script, so there’s that. The director was also the writer, so there’s that. He steals from everyone – especially the final third of the film when the villain has the leading lady run all over town to answer phones and if she doesn’t get there in time, he’ll kill her daughter. Dirty Harry, anyone? Anyway, it was terrible.
The second motion picture was entitled Windows, a film I’ve always been interested in seeing because it’s the sole directorial credit of cameraman Gordon Willis. It begins with a completely reprehensible scene involving Talia Shire being attacked in her apartment. As with every scene in this movie, we don’t actually know what happens in the end, because it just dissolves to the next morning. Mr. Willis was a unique cameraman, who helped shape the look of 70s cinema with Klute, The Godfather and its sequel, All the President’s Men, The Parallax View, and then his long association with Woody Allen and his films Annie Hall, Interiors, Manhattan, Stardust Memories and others. And that’s the one plus of Windows – his photography is classic Willis. Unfortunately, his talent did not extend to directing – he admitted later that the film had been a mistake and boy was he right. The script is completely ludicrous and was criticized heavily for its homophobic presentation of an unhinged Lesbian. There isn’t a single line of dialogue that works, the characters are stupid, and the film’s final fifteen minutes, the scene in which the unhinged Lesbian pours out her feelings for poor Talia Shire is one of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes ever put on film, filled with Miss Elizabeth Ashley’s moaning and groaning (this is not a spoiler – anyone with half-a-brain knows the deal in the first ten minutes) is so embarrassing and it goes on and on and on and on and then you don’t even get the satisfaction of seeing her taken down – just like at the start, it dissolves and you get a couple of lines and then it’s over. The only other minor plus is the Ennio Morricone score – not one of his greats, but Mr. Willis so misuses it that there’s no way for it to have any effect at all. I’m glad I finally saw it, but now I have to shower it down the drain, where it belongs.
Yesterday was kind of a day. I got eight hours of sleep, got up, answered e-mails, then got the not so happy news that my musical director got Covid. So, I began the hunt for a replacement, which is always difficult this close to show time. Send some excellent vibes and xylophones that the person I contacted can work out her schedule – she’s good for the first rehearsal and the show – and if need be, if she can clear the stumble-through day, I’ll just go with the two rehearsals. I ordered my pasta thing from Cheesecake Factory and then, whilst waiting for it to arrive, watched some of the Depp/Heard trial. Very good rebuttal witnesses and no amount of bullying from Miss Heard’s attorneys worked on any of them – in fact, one, from TMZ, gave it right back to Miss Heard’s female attorney – but her entire team makes my skin crawl and her constant playing to the jury, even as she hears testimony, and her constantly writing on her pad as if she was taking copious notes that she shows to no one (it’s like she’s writing War and Peace), and playing to the camera – well, I’d hope the jury isn’t buying any of it – certainly, I’m not. I’m sure they’re both pieces of work, but Mr. Depp and his team never resort to the tactics of Miss Heard and her team.
The food arrived and the top had not been secured tightly on the food and almost all the sauce had spilled out and coagulated at the bottom of the bag – disgusting and messy. And then the dish wasn’t prepared properly – no caramelized onions, no garlic, no pancetta, and exactly a tiny piece of sundried tomato. I ate it, but it was like eating farfalle without sauce and little cubes of chicken. Then I wrote DoorDash and they refunded most of the cost of the meal. So, later in the evening, I ordered two tacos from the local Mexican jernt and those came and were very good and because I had the credit, the cost was only a few dollars. I had some telephonic conversations, then watched the two bad motion pictures.
Today, I’ll be up when I’m up, I’ll do whatever needs doing, I’ll hopefully have good news from the musical director that will hopefully replace Mr. Caught Covid, I may go out for a bite to eat, I’ll hopefully pick up some packages, but mostly I’ll prepare the blurbs for our new releases and try to get all that ready to announce, most likely on Monday. There may be three releases or there may be four. If it’s three, then the fourth will come soon thereafter. I also still have yet to do a show order and write commentary, so that has to get done. Then at some point, I’ll watch, listen, and relax.
Tomorrow is more of the same and if I have a pianist then we have to set up a work session before Sunday. Sunday is our first rehearsal and then we’ll see how it all plays out.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up when I’m up, do whatever needs doing, hopefully have good news from the musical director who’ll hopefully replace our sick musical director, eat, hopefully pick up packages, write blurbs and prepare new releases, and then watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: What movies do you think had particularly beautiful photography, whether black-and-white or color. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, having watched Two Perfectly Dreadful Motion Pictures Two.