Well, dear readers, I am sitting here, relaxing and resting my voice whilst listening to John Ottman’s soundtrack to Orphan. Therefore, these will be horror notes. And speaking of horror, on Tubi, a free streaming movie and TV service, as you know, they interrupt the movies quite frequently for four or five commercials, lasting two minutes or more. So, one sees the same damn commercials over and over again. Now, for some time, I was a veteran of commercials. I did a LOT of them – Charmin (my first), three airline commercials, Maneschewitz wine, a couple of McDonald’s spot, more car commercials than I can remember, a racy clothing commercial, two bank commercials, Energizer bunny, some pool product thing, RC Cola, a candy commercial, and many more that I no longer remember doing. There are a couple on YouTube that I literally have no memory of doing. They were cute, well-written and well-directed in their own way. But these things I’m seeing now are completely incomprehensible to me. Several, I think, are supposed to be amusing, but I have no idea why, since they make no sense. They meander, they’re obtuse, and they’re hardly servicing the product, which is, I don’t know, the POINT? I just sit there, baffled as all get out and I think we all know just how baffled all get out is. Otherwise, whilst relaxing and resting my voice – I did not speak once after seven o’clock – I watched a movie entitled Krishna Shah’s Rivals. Yes, that was the on-screen title. I think you’ll agree that it’s a ton and a half of chutzpah to take a possessory credit on your first film. In fact, it’s the height of chutzpah. And ego. And then there’s the problem that the film is completely inept directorially and writing-wise. But somehow Mr. Shah managed to get the film distributed by Avco Embassy, a 1972 release. I cannot imagine it did any business, but in LA it played a big Beverly Hills theater, the former Stanley Warner Beverly Hills, where Lawrence of Arabia had its roadshow engagement. And Kevin Thomas in the LA Times, while pointing out its many flaws, ended up giving them a money quote at the end. There’s only one legit review on Rotten Tomatoes from the LA Free Press, interestingly written by my friend, author Dick Lochte. This is what he had to say: “Krishna Shah’s flaccid son-mother-lover triangular melodrama is such a misguided mediocrity that the boldface statement of ownership will undoubtedly be something Shah will live to regret, if he doesn’t already.” And this review comes up as “fresh” – someone please explain that to me.
The cast is certainly first-class: Joan Hackett, Scott Jacoby, and Robert Klein. It’s all shot on location, and it would be wonderful if every location shot wasn’t out of focus and you actually saw something. The “shocking” ending wasn’t the shocker – the shocker was the wannabe sex scene between the supposedly ten-year-old Jacoby and his fifteen-year-old babysitter, complete with nudity for the babysitter, and awkward posing by Mr. Jacoby for the nasty bits so that you don’t really see anything. It’s truly one of the most embarrassing scenes ever committed to film. But not QUITE as embarrassing as Joan Hackett’s wardrobe, the ugliest array of clothing ever put on the screen – sadly, I suspect they were her own.
Prior to that we had us a stumble-through – the usual little lyric flubs but so entertaining. We do love the stumble-through days. The songs and show order work great and everyone had a splendidly splendid time watching their fellow performers. So much fun.
Yesterday was a fine day. I got eight hours of sleep, was up at ten-thirty. The helper arrived soon thereafter, and she took possession of the perks that we’d pulled from the first nine of thirteen pages. So, she’ll now be shipping that stuff out over the next week. Then I got the room ready for the stumble-through, answered e-mails, had a couple of telephonic conversations, finalized all the SAMI scripts and sent them to our line producer to get to the folks who need them, and then people began showing up for the stumble-through.
After the stumble-through, I had a few minor notes, we fixed a couple of tempo issues, and that was that. I ordered food from Tommy’s – a chili dog and a cheeseburger – both were very good and around 1000 calories for the pair. Then I had a nice conversation with our costume person for the web series, and then I shut my trap, sat on my couch like so much fish, and the rest you know. I also futzed and finessed the commentary for the show and printed it out.
Today, I’ll be up when I’m up, I’ll do whatever needs doing, but mostly I’m relaxing and resting my voice. I do have to do a quick run to the nearby branch of my bank, but that’s it until I shave and shower, after which I’ll mosey on over to Vitello’s for our sound check. Then we do our show and afterwards some of us will go downstairs and have a proper meal. I will, of course, have a full report.
Tomorrow, I have an eleven o’clock meeting with some folks about one option for the future of the Kritzerland shows. Then the helper person comes, and we’ll finish doing the perks stuff and pull everything we need to so the helper can come back before I go to New York and get the rest of the stuff shipped. After that, I’ll eat, and maybe have a Zoom with our camera person. Friday is more of the same, and we should be fully cast by that point, including the group scenes. From then until I leave, it’s all getting everything organized for the New York shoot.
Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora or the Wah-Watusi, for today is the birthday of our very own Singdaw. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own Singdaw. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN SINGDAW!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up when I’m up, do whatever needs doing, relax and rest my voice, do a quick run to the bank, shave, shower, do a sound check and then our show. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like. So, let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, remembering the grand old days when commercials did their job, rather than be obtuse and incomprehensible.