Well, dear readers, sometimes Facebook can be a surprising thing. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, sometimes Facebook can be a surprising thing and I’m here to tell you why it was a surprising thing last night. Here’s the backstory: As some of you who’ve read There’s Mel, There’s Woody, and There’s You know, back in a little year I like to call 1988, I was sitting in my little house at 600 North Irving, just south of Paramount Pictures Studios, twiddling my thumbs, not doing much of anything and trying to turn my life around. The telephonic device rang, and it was Alain Silver, who was the associate producer of The Creature Wasn’t Nice, and with whom I’d worked with on Likely Stories, The Ratings Game, and other projects, not to mention someone I was about to start a record label with, Bay Cities. He told me that the film he and his partner Patrick were working on had run into a snag – the director, who was also the screenwriter and who was also the boyfriend of the film’s leading lady, Susan Strasberg, was apparently inept, didn’t know how to direct, was getting further and further behind schedule, now two days behind after just five days. Not only that, but when Patrick had forcefully told this man that he had to move faster and not fall further behind, they’d come to blows. Could I and would I be willing to take over the film the next day because they were going to fire him if I could. I knew a about the film because Alain and Patrick and I shared on office on the Culver Studios lot, but beyond they were shooting a film, I had no idea what the film actually was. I asked about the film. It was a thriller. I thought I would be the last person that anyone would want to direct a thriller, but they were my friends, they were in trouble, and they knew I could get the job done. This was at eight in the morning. I said okay. I asked them to send me the five days of dailies so I could see what I was inheriting, and an hour later a box of VHS tapes arrived at my door. It was agreed that I’d be picked up at five (this was on a Monday), and driven to the location where they were shooting, so I could meet the some of the cast and crew. I spent the next few hours watching the worst batch of dailies ever. Nothing looked good and furthermore, even a perfunctory knowledge of film would have told a novice that there were scenes that wouldn’t even cut together. I spoke to Alain after viewing and told him it was terrible stuff and that the writing was appalling and the direction non-existent. Especially bad was a scene with the man who played the villain, but we’re not supposed to know he’s the villain – Doug McClure. The director had him play the scene like Snidely Whiplash and that’s how it was written, and it gave away the game twenty minutes into the film. I asked Alain that if I caught up on the two days they were behind and got ahead, if I could reshoot that scene and a couple of others, and I told him it would be necessary to shoot a ton of inserts to make the handful of scenes we couldn’t reshoot cut together. He agreed.
At around five, I was driven to location – can’t remember where that even was but do remember the car was a station wagon. Once we were there, I was told that the director had been fired and removed from the set, the day had wrapped, and we were scheduled to resume the next morning at a different location, a house. I met the cameraman, who seemed relieved and scared at the same time, and the only cast member I recall meeting was Dana Plato, who seemed nice enough. By that time, I’d read the script and knew all the scenes she was in during the first twenty minutes of the movie had to be rewritten. When I told her that, she asked why, like any thinking actor would do. I told her that because of the way it was written, she was an obnoxious, whiny, and annoying person and the audience would be rooting for her to get offed, which is what happens to her character. I said we had to make her lovable, quirky, and funny, so that her death would come as a shock and people would be disturbed watching it. She loved that. Since we were shooting her introductory scene on Wednesday, the costume person showed me the clothes for that scene, her dressed for a camping trip with her boyfriend. They’d bought her some kind of tight pants and a low-cut shirt and because there’s a little love scene on the camping trip, sexy, lacy lingerie. I said no to all of it and told the costume gal to buy baggy pants and clothes that she was not used to wearing, and, most importantly, some cotton underpants.
The next morning, I arrived at seven and met the crew and was told that Miss Strasberg was very upset and crying and would not come out of whatever room she was in. I told Alain and Patrick to deal with that, and rather than start off getting even further behind, I did a set-up with our young leading man. I had to show the crew and the cameraman that I knew what I was doing and was there to get the job done. It was a simple set-up and we got the shot in five minutes. After I said cut, I turned to the crew and said, “Does anyone know what this movie is about?” That broke the ice, everyone laughed and on we went. I ultimately had to go in and coerce Susan to come out, and I did so sensitively and quickly, just saying I knew how tough this was but it was a done deal and we all had to be professional and get the job done and that I was a fan of her work and that I promised we’d have fun. She came right out.
We had one very complicated scene between her and our young lead that required many set-ups and was scheduled for almost the entire day. I conferred with the cameraman, who I liked very much, and told him we should do all six pages of the scene in one shot, dollying from one place to another. I told Susan and Tom, our young actor, my plan, they were all in, we blocked the scene, rehearsed it for an hour and shot two takes and I was all caught up, schedule-wise, and we moved on to the rest of the house scenes and got those all done.
That’s the backstory and I finished not only the film ahead of schedule, but we were able to reshoot stuff, do inserts, and film two new scenes to help tie up loose story ends. So, what does this all have to do with Facebook? For some reason, I get all these Deadline stories on my feed and they’re all really dumb and sometimes I respond to the stupidity in amusing ways. And I get notified, of course, if someone responds or “likes” my post. And I got a like from one Fernando Arguellas. Well, shiver me timbers, dear readers, he was my cameraman on the film. I sent a friend request and then PMd him and we had a wonderful back and forth and we’ll be having lunch next week. The irony here is that about two months ago, there was some horrible video about Dana Plato on YouTube, just negative as could be, so I posted there and gave them my experience with her, which was terrific. And I thought about Fernando and wondered if he’d gone back to Mexico after our horrid little movie. So, I checked the imdb and was surprised to find he’s been working steadily ever since. Isn’t that funny? We had a great time on the film because with me he finally got to be creative and was on the same page as I was visually speaking. And just to put a period on it, it was never going to be a good movie – all we could do is put Band-Aids on it, but I was very proud of the opening sequence, which looked great and was powerful, and I was proud of the Dana/Tom camping scenes, which were adorable and funny, and then proud of the murder scene because when we showed it to the guy who financed it, he could barely watch it. And he’d said to me not ten minutes prior to that, “I didn’t know we were making a comedy.” But once he saw the murder, he knew we’d done exactly the right thing.
Well, that was a way to make a long story long, wasn’t it? So, let me just fly through the rest of the notes, because there’s not much to talk about anyway. I did manage to watch a very bad motion picture from 1975 entitled The Wild Party – yes, based on the same narrative poem that the two musicals were based on. And the film is practically a musical, too, with songs and screenplay by Walter Marks, the composer/lyricist of the flop musicals Bajour and Golden Rainbow. To give him credit, he did write the hit song, I’ve Gotta Be Me. He’s still with us, closing in on ninety years of age. The movie stars James Coco and Raquel Welch. I’ve never been a James Coco fan and have never understood why anyone found him funny, although I know people did. But he’s good in the film, playing a completely unlikeable and horrible character. Raquel plays Queenie, his girlfriend, who he regularly knocks around. I have to say, her performance is completely dreadful and apparently she was a real chore to work with according to director James Ivory. The film apparently tested horribly, was completely recut and released at ninety-five minutes or something. Then footage was added and it played at ten minutes longer and most of that footage was orgy scenes with completely gratuitous and obnoxious nudity.
But the person who walks away with the film, at least for me, is Annette Ferra, who stopped acting after this film and went on to casting and directing under the name Chris Gilmore. Now, if her name seems familiar it’s because she was the original star of Lolita, My Love until they fired her out of town. I tell that story in the booklet notes because she corrected all the misinformation that’s been out there all these years. I had a lovely conversation with her about all that. In any case, she was about eighteen or so when they shot The Wild Party – she’s beautiful and gives a terrific performance. But it’s just a horrible movie and James Ivory would go on to direct some classic movies.
Yesterday was okay. Six hours of sleep, then I breakfasted at the Coral Café – eggs Benedict and hash browns, then I went to a few thrift shops, one of which was just two doors down from the Coral. Nothing of real interest, but looking through the records I found this curio – I mean, what are the damn odds of this. This was obviously in the 1950s, someplace you could go and record your voice – I haven’t played this yet so don’t know what’s on here, but the jernt was called Bill Kimmel and it was located literally two blocks east of the Coral Café. It’s now some half-block long office building, but if one looks at the rest of that block and its tiny storefront shops, it’s obvious what it looked like. Here’s a photograph.
Then I came home. I did some futzing and finessing and wrote a little bit, then watched the movie. In the late afternoon I ordered a pulled pork sandwich from Uncle Andre’s barbecue jernt, where I usually get my fried catfish. It was okay, but their sauce is a bit vinegary for my taste and it wasn’t as good as the pulled pork sandwich from Barbie-Q. I then watched the first twenty minutes of the film Shock Treatment – not the sequel to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but the black and white scope film frm the 1960s with Stuart Whitman, Roddy McDowell, and Lauren Bacall. I don’t think this film has ever appeared on home video and I don’t believe I’ve ever seen it. I’m enjoying it and will finish it up.
Today, I’ll be up when I’m up, and the only activity will be writing. I’m in a crucial sequence and I have to get it right or nothing else will work and the “right” mostly has to do with keeping everything moving along and not belaboring things. I’ll eat something at some point, and then I’ll watch, listen, and relax.
This week is mostly writing, having a Zoom with David Wechter, hopefully having a lunch with Fernando Arguellas, and doing whatever needs doing.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up when I’m up, I’ll write, I’ll eat, and I’ll watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, happy to have had a Facebook surprise.