Well, dear readers, time has gotten away from me and I’ve gotten away from time – it was a mutual decision as time and I are a mutual admiration society. I have no idea what any of that means, but what else is new? Well, I’ll tell you what’s new right now, right here in these here notes, because that’s what notes are for, no? So, let’s just jump in, shall we? Let’s not just get our feet wet, let’s belly flop right into the pool, notes-wise rather than pool-wise. Pool-wise, let’s get the eight ball in the corner pocket. First of all, let me catch up on the movie I watched two nights ago and didn’t get around to talking about. Said movie was entitled The Performance, starring Jeremy Piven, directed by Shira Piven, sister of Jeremy Piven, the star of The Performance. I gather that this was a passion project for them, one that took many years to bring to fruition, although what fruit has to do with it I have no idea. Anyway, briefly, the movie is about a tap dancer and his little troupe trying to make it in the show business. They go overseas and are seen by a German fellow, who offers them a ton of money to play one performance in Germany’s most famous nightclub, a special performance for a special person. Hmmm, let’s figure out who THAT might be. Anyway, that’s the deal, they go, the special person likes them and wants them to stay and do more performances – the only problem being is that Mr. Piven’s character is Jewish, which he forgets to inform them of. They even examine him and deem him to be Aryan. Anyway, the story is the story, and that’s not the problem with the film. The problem with the film is the director and her “style,” which is pretty much what you’d expect – shaky cam and shooting and editing dance numbers into incoherence. Shaky cam is now so tired, so cliched, and so old and so inappropriate for a movie that takes place as the special someone is about to come into power. But the main issue resides with the dance numbers. Here’s what we never EVER need to see: Disembodied feet. What is the POINT of seeing feet only in a tap number. Watch any classic Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly dance number and tell me if you see a single damn shot of disembodied feet. But this thing is loaded with disembodied feet, overhead shots, quick cuts so you never see a damn dance move that’s actually happening in real time. It is so infuriating and here’s why: When you do that, all it says to the audience is, “We’re trying to hide the fact that these people aren’t very good” or “They couldn’t do that turn in one take” or “Well, see, we had to use a double in that shot.” It doesn’t matter which of those things it is, that’s what it says to a viewer, at least to THIS viewer. I so wanted to just turn the damn thing off, but I watched to the end. This movie has not a single review on Rotten Tomatoes, but you can find two or three via Google and they fawn over the direction because – they know nothing about dance or how to film dance. The movie basically had no release and now they’re spending whatever funds they have to try and generate some Oscar buzz for Mr. Piven. Good luck. Maybe it’ll work but they’re up against studios that are spending obscene amounts of money on promotion – and yes, I’m looking at YOU Wicked – OBSCENE amounts of money. Anyway, show me the dancers dancing, not your edits every two seconds. IF they’ve taken the time to learn it, show it. Unless, that is, you’re trying to hide something. Disembodied feet are for foot fetishists. I has spoken.
Yesterday was weird and pretty uneventful. I slept about nine hours, maybe even a bit more. I got up, answered e-mails, actually got a few Kritzerland orders, had not a single spam call – very unusual – decided food would be the rest of the tuna pasta salad, so I ate that throughout the day and early evening until it was gone with the wind. At two in the afternoon, I sat on my couch like so much fish, I turned on the TV via the Firestick, and went to Prime to find something to watch. I did not make it past that point, as I dozed off instantly and stayed dozed off for the next two damn hours. Yikes. I then went to the bedroom and plopped down on the bed and slept another hour and fifteen minutes.
That was enough of that, let me tell you. I got up, finished the rest of the tuna pasta salad, and then I’d pulled out a couple of illustration art collector guides I’d bought on a couple of artists way back some fifteen years ago or even more. I hadn’t been back to the site that had them since I got them, and I have no idea why. So, I went. The fellow who ran the site and did these passed away in 2020, so his son made all the collector guides he’d done available as PDF files that could be downloaded for free. And that’s what I did, all twenty-six of them. They’re amazing – beautiful photos of incredible illustration art and I spent the rest of the evening down that rabbit hole, basking in those images – all female subjects. I also found a collector’s guide I’d gotten whenever I began collection Simenon. That thing is the most ineptly put together thing I’ve ever seen. It’s so confusing I had to just stop and put it away. I thought I’d be able to check off what I have and don’t have but it’s impossible the way whoever did it did it.
That was basically the day and evening, and now, here we are.
Today, I’ll be up when I’m up, I’ll definitely visit the mail place to see what’s what, I think I’ll fill the motor car with gas – there’s slightly more than a quarter of a tank right now – I’ll figure out food and eat whatever it is, I have a few more notes to make for the new book, and then I’ll watch, listen, and relax.
Tomorrow is more of the same, on Tuesday I get my permanent crown then it’s our Annual New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Bash that night, and then balls drop, and we welcome in a New Year.
Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora or the Twist, for today is the birthday of our newest dear reader, MichaelG. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our newest dear reader, MichaelG. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR NEWEST DEAR READER, MICHAELG!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up when I’m up, visit the mail place, put gas in the motor car, eat, and then watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite dance numbers from movie musicals? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, where I shall hopefully not have any disembodied feet.