Well, dear readers, we pray for a modern major miracle, I go to the mail place, and THIS is what I’m greeted with.
Let me say this: I do not believe this is a modern major miracle. I do believe this is a teeny-tiny, beyond miniscule joke. The only thing one can do is laugh and I did laugh before getting out of my car and strangling a nearby bush. The Strangled Bush – that’s the title of my next novel. This ever so lovely residual was, for all things, from a TV show that’s apparently streaming in some unknown universe, the one-season floperoo, The Girl with Something Extra starring Sally Field and John Davidson, about a girl with ESP. I was asked to do a quick one scene thing by the producers, who were all Partridge Family folks – Mel Swope, Bob Claver, and creator Bernard Slade, so of course I said yes immediately – plus, I’d always had a little crush on Sally Field, so why not. My episode was called Three for the Road and was the third to last episode shot. The only thing I remember about it was the entire scene took place in a doorway (I knocked and said a few lines), probably with Mr. Davidson. What I really remember was Sally peeking over people’s shoulder to see what I was doing because she thought I was funny. I’ll see if I can find it and see what it was I did. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a residual from this show before because it never had reruns, due to being a big old floperoo. I sent a copy of this residual to Mel Swope on Facebook. I told him that thanks to this I’d finally be able to take that trip to Paris. But enough about my ten-cent residual – perhaps I’ll write a song about it.
Ten cents a show
That’s what they pay me
Really, just slay me now
That would be a fine torch song, wouldn’t it? Anyway, I have eaten a few cashews and now want to vomit on the ground. Additionally, these here notes should have been posted thirty-three minutes ago and yet here we are, writing them now. I shall hurry them along.
Yesterday, I got eight hours of sleep, arising at one. I answered e-mails, did a few things that needed doing, showered, prayed for a modern major miracle that never arrived, stopped at the mail place and picked up my giant big boy residual of ten cents along with my new PayPal debit card, which finally arrived. Then I saw a matinee of a new play in the upstairs small theater at the Group Rep. One of our 70, Girls, 70 was in it and she was lots of fun, and an actor I’ve worked with twice, who’s terrific, was also in it. It began late and intermission ran a bit long, so we didn’t get out of there until after six. I talked to a few folks, then headed home. I hadn’t eaten a thing, so I stopped at Popeye’s and got two mild chicken breasts and their attendant biscuits, then came right home. I ate my breasts, and they were pretty good, as were the biscuits. I Ate My Breasts – that’s the title of my next novel. Then I had a frozen yogurt delivered – I only ate about two ounces of it – too rich for me these days, but it was a nice sweet treat and couldn’t have been over 100 calories, tops. Then I sat on my couch like so much fish, went to the Tube of You, watched a couple of videos about YouTube monetization, and promptly fell asleep for an hour. And here we are.
Today, I’ll be up when I’m up, I’ll have me a real ME day and just be a lazy lout and I suppose pray harder for a modern major miracle because as of tomorrow things will be completely intolerable and there will be hell toupee. I’ll eat something fun, and basically just watch, listen, and relax.
Tomorrow, hopefully the glasses will be ready, hopefully the day will not be intolerable, and I’ll probably go to Gelson’s and get some gefilte fish, chopped liver, matzos, for my feeble attempt to have a Passover meal. The rest of the week will depend on many things, but I do have some meetings and meals and such.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up when I’m up, have me a real ME day, be a lazy lout, pray harder for a modern major miracle, eat something amusing, and then watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, hoping that the bush I strangled is recovering nicely.