Well, dear readers, may I just ruminate for a moment on the sorry state of theater audiences? Well, I’m going to anyway, so here goes. I’m at the point where I just don’t want to go to musical theater in large venues anymore. I got this way about seeing movies in regular theaters a decade ago, thanks to smelly food, loud talking and people on their cell phones. Last night, I attended a performance of Smokey Joe’s Café at the Pasadena Playhouse. I’d never seen the show, but after watching some of the Broadway version on You Tube, I’d say this was not quite the same, but that isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the audiences today, who have the necessity to whoop and holler at every little riff done by every singer in a show, thereby effectively making the evening about THEM. It’s obnoxious, selfish behavior, especially to those of us who grew up respecting the experience of seeing theater. I’ve been taken to task on one of the usual theater boards, always by one effete little twerp, that these kinds of audiences are somehow good for theater and that the old style is somehow stodgy. I don’t think so, twerp. When something deserved an ovation, it got an ovation, just not one with screaming and yelling like little schoolchildren. If someone deserved applause, they got it – it wasn’t indiscriminately given to every single person for ever single line of every single song. It seems audiences today are trained at home watching American Idol, where those idiots are prompted at every turn to give a standing ovation whenever someone sings really loud and obnoxiously. So, they bring that training now to live musical theater. And it’s not just the kids – it’s the older folks, too.
Admittedly, a show like Smokey Joe’s Café kind of panders to that, but I’ve seen a lot of revues in my time and none have ever gotten that kind of crap from minute one to the last beat of music, and that includes some really well done shows like Ain’t Misbehavin’. No, today’s audiences are all about themselves, with their disruptive hooting and hollering. The joke last night was that none of the songs actually got sustained, long applause. They got hooting and hollering from the same one hundred people, while the rest sat there looking at those people wondering what all the ruckus was about and wanting to just give honest applause. After one number, I, Who Have Nothing, they were screaming after every riff the singer did (and he did plenty) and at the end, about twenty wacko individuals actually stood up – they were lucky they were not sitting near me.
And then, when they got to Stand by Me, the audience took the lyric literally and stood up like little sheep, while one horrifying woman in the first row began dancing a little too lewdly for her age, beckoning the folks who hadn’t stood to get off their ASSES, which they did. It makes one wonder if she was a plant or just plain horrifying. And so it went. But none of that held a candle to the woman seated next to me. Fifteen minutes before the end of the show, she decided she could not be without her precious cell phone for one more minute, so she took it out of her purse (lit up bright as can be), and checked her messages, sent a text and finally put it back. But three minutes later it was in her hand again, lit up bright as can be and I’d had it. I turned to her and said, “Shut that damn thing off NOW!” She glared at me, and then shut it off. What a jerk. Stay at home if you’re so addicted to your device. Really. Leave theater to those who care about it.
And then there’s this thing that’s kind of happened in the last two decades only – the curtain call begins and the band is playing music and the audience begins to clap in rhythm to the music while the actors take their bows – thereby depriving the actors of actual applause. This was never the case back in the day, ever. It’s so stupid. If I were directing a musical today, I would stage the curtain call as I did for The Brain from Planet X – where they couldn’t applaud in rhythm because it kept changing from person to person – or, I would simply not have music so that the hard-working actors could get the applause they deserve. But again, these audience members were applauding themselves, really.
As to Smokey Joe’s Café, it’s not my favorite kind of show, but the songs are certainly fun and the cast was very good and high energy. It was a little odd to have announced to us that one of the female cast members would not be performing due to illness – that’s actually not the odd part – the odd part is there was no understudy and that they simply cut those numbers, which was why each act only ran about fifty minutes. End of rant about audiences today.
Before I go any further, the new Kritzerland limited edition CD release will be up at six in the morning and it’s a two-CD set for a one-CD price – the world premiere release of the actual soundtrack to Alien Nation, the late 1980s film starring James Caan and Mandy Patinkin, which was a pretty big hit back then. The score is by Curt Sobel and interestingly features great guitar work by Tim May, who’ll you’ll also hear on the upcoming Sandy Bainum album. That’s CD 1. CD 2 is the rejected score by someone named Jerry Goldsmith. So, it’s a great set at a great price, and the first 100 people who order will get an extra booklet signed by composer Curt Sobel. Here’s the cover.
Ooops (spoo, spelled backwards) – those are the cream horns. Here’s the cover.
The rest of yesterday was just fine. I wanted to sleep a little longer than I did, but I didn’t. Once up, I answered e-mails, did some work on the computer, listened to the final mixes we did the night before, got everything to the mastering guy and had some telephonic calls. Then I did a three-mile jog, planked and did forty sit-ups. Then we had a short rehearsal with John Sloman, who ran his three Maltby and Shire songs – Watching the Big Parade Go By, I Don’t Remember Christmas and Earthbound. John’s just great and he was very prepared.
Then the helper came by to bring me some music I needed and we ended up going for a sandwich. I had a ham and Swiss on rye just to tide me over till dinner. I wasn’t planning on doing that, but it was a good idea. Then I picked up a couple of packages and came back home. I did some more work on the computer, then got ready to go to the Dena of Pasa. Once there, I ate at El Portal, and had one beef taco and one cheese enchilada, which was just right considering I’d had the pretty low-calorie sandwich and had jogged. I stayed away from the chips, left the beans and didn’t do what I usually do and lard on the guacamole and sour cream on the enchilada. So, I think I was fine, calorie-wise.
After I got home from the show, I had a long telephonic conversation about this potential upcoming project – I have to meet one more potential cast member, and if he agrees to do the show, then I think we’re set. I have a musical director on hold but won’t commit until I have the final go-ahead. We shall see.
Today, I shall be up at six to announce Alien Nation, then hopefully I’ll print out a LOT of orders, and maybe I’ll go back to sleep for a bit. I have a lunch at one, and then I’m going to try to meet up with the actor person. Also, I have to go to the Apple Store to see if they got in the black case for the iPhone, but more importantly to see why the power button is so hard to use on this phone – maybe it’s the bumper guard we put on, but you really have to press this thing hard to get it to work and my other iPhone power buttons were nothing like that. I’m hoping it’s something easy to deal with because I don’t really want them to replace the phone so I have to go through the entire set-up process again. That would be most annoying.
Tomorrow is the second Kritzerland rehearsal, Saturday I’m hoping I can relax, and Sunday is our stumble-through and Monday is sound check and show.
Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora and the Swim, for today is the birthday of our very own dear reader DougR from across the pond. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own DougR from across the pond. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN DOUGR FROM ACROSS THE POND!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, announce a new title, hopefully print out a LOT of orders, do a jog, have a lunch meeting, hopefully pick up some packages, and whatever else needs doing. Today’s topic of discussion: What do you think of audiences today and what are your audience horror stories? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, where I shall try to clear out the bad taste of last night’s audience behavior.