So...
I get into Chicago from Atlanta 25 minutes early, which means I - and the airlines - have a full hour between my connecting flight. When we got in the air, the pilot mentioned that due to high winds in New York, the air traffic controller were slowing down the approaching planes, so we might be touching down 10-15 minutes late. Well, by the time we were in "approach distance" everything on the ground was back to normal, and we were cleared for landing. 5 minute early! So...
I head to baggage carousel 1 to claim my bag. Almost everyone claims their bags. Everyone except for a Russian student, and business man and myself.

I go to the office which is (thankfully) right by Baggage Carousel 1...
"Your bag will be in on the next flight. It gets in at 8:30." -OK.
"Would you like it delivered?"
-When would it go out
"Do you have a doorman?"
-No.
"Well, then it won't go out until probably tomorrow morning around 7:00, and then they have a five hour window for delivery."
-So, if I had lied to you and said that I had a doorman, the bag would have gone out tonight?
"Sir, I'm not here to argue with you."
-Well, my apartment is right at the ground floor, and my window looks right out on the sidewalk.
"Sir, I told you, that's the policy."
Grumble, grumble, grumble...
So... Since I only had 45 minutes to wait at that point - and I'm not taking my chance with another luggage delivery courier... I'm just waiting for my bag. However, there is a sort of upside to this situation. I received an "inconvenience voucher" which entitles me to $25 off my next United/Ted/Shuttle ticket. Hmm... -That's still better than waiting for my bag to come in sometime tomorrow morning. *Although, I would have preferred a $25 voucher to use in the food court. Ah, well...